All Fools' Day
by lavacana
Summary: I decided to April Fools everyone and participate in the HiJack March Madness in April instead of March. Will be updated as frequently as possible.
1. Chapter 1: Day 1: (free)

**I decided to April Fools the March Madness HiJack prompts. As in, for a practical joke, post all the March Madness stuff during April instead of March.**

**Hilarious, innit? Muahahaha~**

**I tried to edit this as best as I could, but if there are still mistakes, remember that I am only human. If you see anything funky-dory, don't hesitate to point it out. Concrit is wanted, but any and all you guys can give me will be welcomed with open arms.**

**I'm also trying to do these with a time limit...? So, if it sounds unfinished, then it probably is, haha. But these are also supposed to be drabbles, I think, sooo...It's excused? Me no know, me no comprende, me just writey-write, yah yah.**

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**Rated: K+**

**WARNING: Humor, Lazy teenage boys, mentions of technophobia, OOCness, flirting, MILDEW, mentions of character death.**

**I think I covered everything–Oh the disclaimer!**

**I, in no way, shape, or form, seek a profit from this writing. This is for educational purpsoes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Spongebob, Tangled, any cardboard-box-play-toys, a laptop, a smartphone capable of conference calling, a prosthetic, a really long tree branch, or the Smolder look. Each of those are owned by their own respective owners...yeah.**

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**Day 1: Birthday**

So, he was turning 15 today.

And he wasn't having a birthday party.

Because it wasn't February 29th.

Even though it was.

Yeah, confusing birthdays, woohoo.

Hiccup rolled out of his bed and flopped onto the floor like a fish. And proceeded to chuckle like a dork at the Spongebob pun he himself had just thought of, all while struggling to get on his suddenly-too-tight prosthetic and make his way back downstairs.

He'd spent literally the whole morning in constant transition from the living room to his bedroom. He'd woken up and eaten downstairs while watching some pointless sitcom. Then he'd traveled back up to read a few chapters of a book he'd read at least five times before. After he'd gone down for a snack and watched the news for a full half hour. Proceeding that was a pointless travel back to his room for some computer time, which ended up being a bust because his computer suddenly sparked and started smoking, and Hiccup had panicked and tossed it into his bathtub and turned on the water because maybe it was setting itself on fire, but it'd been a fluke and when it met the water it really HAD become a fire so he'd turned on the shower and well… His laptop was probably broken, now.

Maybe.

Back downstairs after that for a needed glass of lemonade and to listen to the stereo for a while during a spontaneous cleaning session, before he went back upstairs to take a nap.

And it was only ten o'clock in the morning.

Hiccup groaned out, "Boring!" and rolled onto his stomach. He stared aimlessly at the dust bunnies beneath his bed. His eyes spied a familiar looking box-thing, and he squinted. What..?

The teenager struggled his way into the little space between his bed frame and the floor, scrambling for the object. It took five minutes, fourteen seconds, three sneezes, and twelve agonizing blinks to clear his eyes of the dust and tears before he managed to snatch it up. With a single swipe, the object slid out and revealed itself to be a dusty photo album.

It was more like a mini-binder reformed into a kindergarteners picture book.

The cover was doodled in marker and crayon with the two most hideous shades of blue and green Hiccup had ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes upon. In big, rainbow, cloud-shaped letters stated "Best Frensd Four Ever" which he assumed was supposed to be translated as "Best Friends Forever". Beneath it were two stick figures–the blue figure drawn upon the green background, and vice versa for the green–holding hands. Hiccup blinked and wondered why this felt so familiar.

He opened it to the first page, and found a picture of him and–Oh. Jack.

Okay, yeah, he was remembering it now.

Back when his mother was still...alive...she'd thought of making a photo album with him and Jack, sort of like documenting their childhood together. Wow, how old was this thing?

In the photo, he was four and Jack was probably six, giving each other side hugs and the camera big, toothy(more like toothless) grins. He was wearing his old favorite How To Train Your Dragon shirt–gods, he missed that TV show, why'd they have to take it off air?–and Jack was sporting his infamous blue hoodie, except it was too big for him, and they'd tied the sleeves around his neck so it looked more like a blue cape.

Hiccup smiled at the memory, very faintly remembering that day. But it was too unclear and hazy for his fifteen-year-old-mind to recall, so he flipped to the next page.

There were two pictures now, each inserted into their own plastic-covered page. They were still the same age as before, but in this one they were aboard cardboard boxes covered in crayon squiggles. Hiccup was standing proudly in _The Hopeful Puffin_, a plastic Viking hat falling off his head and a foam diamond Minecraft sword raised high above his head. Fishlegs–that had to be him, really, no one else would be doing that in the face of imaginary adventure–was chilling on the grass, leaning against the box-turned-boat and reading a book designated for second graders even though he was still in kindergarten. Jack's picture showed him in a fighting pose with a giant branch in hand, smirking viciously towards imaginary foes. Hiccup took a wild guess at what his cardboard box was supposed to be and decided it was Santa's sleigh. Jack's adoptive older brother, looking about ten years old back then, was sitting in the back. Aster looked uncomfortable and Hiccup assumed it was because his legs couldn't fit in the box. It was a hilarious picture to look at, and Hiccup found himself laughing, despite the nostalgia.

A few pages after that, Hiccup gained a flashback with just a glimpse at the pictures.

He remembered being six years old when they took a trip back to Berk. Somehow, he and Jack had managed to convince their families to work together and buy a round trip for them all. He and his best friend had been beyond excited, two tiny kids vibrating with energy and practically bouncing everywhere. He remembered meeting Merida there and being dazzled by her faux-archery skills, and he remembered Jack and Astrid fighting so much they were like bulldogs battling for the last chicken bone. He remembered Dagur spoiling their trip by locking him and Fishlegs up in the doghouse, and he remembered Jack being the only one to stand up for them, until of course Aster came and beat the crap out of Dagur. Oh man, such good memories. These pictures were just a series of tourist attractions he had taken Jack to. The most important one was where they had a group photo, both him and Jack clinging to each other, with Merida somehow atop them with her red curls in everyone's faces, and Astrid punching Snotlout somewhere to Hiccup's right, and Aster on Jack's left while giving Dagur the stink-eye who was all the way at the far right of the picture. And there was Fishlegs, awkward as ever amidst the twins, who were already fighting each other and looked to be mid-roll when the picture was taken. Snotlout was trying to show off his tiny arms, pretending he had the same body as his Dad. Baby Tooth, Jack's cousin, was trying to block Camicazi from releasing her slingshot towards some unsuspecting passersby.

Good times.

Hiccup started thumbing through pages as fast as he could.

There, he recognized the Santa Claus-esque piñata at Jack's ninth birthday party. And over there, a class photo from their first summer camp the summer he'd turned eight. And he would never forget that perfect moment they'd accidentally captured on camera when Snotlout somehow ended up with a crab in his pants when they all went to the beach–

He paused, fingers lightly tracing over a crude drawing taped right into the book. On it, he could just barely make out two figures sketched as angels amongst all the smudges. He frowned, the memories as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.

He remembered the car accident during the thunderstorm. He remembered waking up in the hospital, missing a left leg and a mother. He remembered his father trying to hide everything from him, and after Jack hadn't visited for a full week, he remembered panicking and wailing like a four-month-old nuisance. He remembered his father shushing him and just barely telling him about the accident at the lake that had happened at the same time as the car accident.

He remembered feeling numb for a long, long time after that.

His breath whooshed out in an exhausted sigh. Gods, taking a trip down memory lane was so tiresome. Who would've known it could be this taxing? Maybe if Jack were here, he could make things better, a little more fun.

But he wasn't, and Hiccup had no way to contact him, because he was–

"Hiccup!"

Hiccup shrieked, banging his head against his bed and the album flying out of his grasp. He groaned, then growled, stomping over to his window and throwing it open with such force that the glass vibrated. "WHAT?!"

Jack stared up at him from his side lawn with wide eyes, taking a step back.

Hiccup blinked, then cursed, rubbing his head. With a sigh, he collapsed against his window ledge, blowing a raspberry and waving away his previous shout like it was nothing. "S-Sorry! I didn't mean to...yell...like that… Just, something happened, and uh...yeah."

He didn't know if Jack heard him well enough, but the older teen frowned, crossing his arms across his chest and giving Hiccup an eyebrow raise. Hiccup rolled his eyes. Jack's foot tapped the fake grass. Hiccup made eye contact. Jack held eye contact. It lasted about ten seconds before both boys sighed and looked away.

Jack scratched his neck before calling up, "Want to talk about it?"

Hiccup shook his head. "Nah, I was just annoyed. At the world. So, you know, not your fault."

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Well, alright…"

There was silence for a moment, before Jack suddenly sprang up and waved to catch Hiccup's fleeting attention. The teen had a huge smile on his face, blue eyes shining in renewed happiness.

"Happy Fifteenth Birthday!"

Hiccup's heart swelled at the notion that his best friend remembered his birthday, not quite caring how contradictory that was, seeing as Jack did this literally every year anyways.

"Thanks! You're, like, the only one who remembered this year."

Jack's eyes widened. "Wow, really?"

"Yup."

"Damn, that must suck."

"You've got no idea."

Jack winked and shot a cheeky smirk. "Good thing you have me to remember."

Hiccup rolled his eyes and refused to smirk. "Show off."

Jack laughed, though how he had heard him from all the way over there, Hiccup will never know. "So, why are you still locked up in your room like a try-hard Rapunzel?"

Hiccup stuck out his tongue. "Maybe I don't want to see your ugly face today, you know, save my eyesight for something more worthwhile."

Jack clutched at his heart and swayed in mock-horror. "Hiccup! What is this? Are you being mean?!"

"Shut up, frost-butt."

"Make me."

"I would, but I'd have to leave the house to do that, and I can't exactly step outside the front door right now."

Jack pulled off another spectacular raised eyebrow, and Hiccup squashed down the irrational jealousy he had about that. "You're on house arrest? Again?"

"Yes…?"

Jack sighed and sat down, stretching his bare toes while looking skyward and muttering to the clouds. Hiccup got a strange sense of deja vu, and realized he'd done the same thing on Jack's lawn plenty of times before, basically every time the other would get grounded. Wow. Life really is strange. Who'da thunk that Jack would be doing it to him?

"What did you do, Hiccup."

"Wow, your vote of confidence is so inspiring, like, woah, I think I need to go write a song now, or like, paint a Van Gogh Starry Night 2.0 or something–"

"Answer the question, Hiccup."

Hiccup huffed. He settled his chin in his palm and leaned against both his window frame and wall. "I...might have...sort of… messed with my Dad's phone?"

Jack gave a look that clearly meant 'elaborate.'

"And, uh… it was during a conference meeting…? One of those video call business stuffs."

Another 'elaborate' look.

"And I may have sent all his coworkers those photos from the beach trip last summer? Ya know, when he was walking around drunk and acting like a total buffoon?"

Jack's stoic mask cracked, just a bit.

"While playing that recording you made of him singing God Bless America after that helium trip-up?"

Jack snorted. "N-NO, you didn't–"

Hiccup snickered. "Yeah, I did! It was by accident though, really! I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I didn't have my contacts, and Dad had told them to wait while he went to set up his project board, and I was just looking for something when I tapped it and started smashing buttons everywhere–"

Jack laughed, arms going weak and making him fall to the ground. "NO! No you did NOT–"

"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" But Hiccup fell over the windowsill, laughing just as bad as his friend. "He couldn't get a promotion because of that!"

Jack cackled, rolling around on the grass. Hiccup collapsed onto his bedroom floor. The both lasted a few long moments chortling and snickering all over themselves, before Hiccup clambered onto his knees and peered out his window to see Jack just about done recollecting himself.

"S-So, I'm assuming he was upset about being embarrassed, and promptly grounded you for life?" Jack still had to talk his way around a few last guffaws.

Hiccup shakily breathed his laughter away, wiping a stray tear off his cheek. "Nah. I'm grounded because I brought in a stray kitten, who I'm calling Toothless simply because he has too many teeth. Dad found that out the hard way."

Jack looked confused about more than just a random stray cat called Toothless. He was silent for a moment, before calling, "Should I even ask?"

Hiccup gave him a crooked smile. "Probably not."

Jack sent him a thumbs up as his way of saying 'Roger that'. Hiccup huffed a tiny laugh, and Jack shot him a smile. And suddenly, that smile turned mischievous.

Uh oh.

"NO!"

Jack blinked. "Wait, I haven't even said any–"

"NO!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "I promise there won't be any mutant worms this time–"

"NO!"

"Oh come on, Hiccup! All you have to do is sneak out!"

"N-O, NO!"

"But Hiccup! It's your birthday, you don't deserve to be locked up for the whole–"

"Technically it's not because it's not the 29th–"

"Don't give me that–"

"I'm not allowed to step a single foot out the front door!"

Jack grinned, as if having waited for him to get there. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't step a foot out the BACK door."

Hiccup blinked. And blinked again. Oh. Oooh. The fifteen year old smirked.

"Yeah, that's it!" Jack's grin was positively demonic to anyone else other than Hiccup. "Now you're gettin' it!" He bowed to an imaginary audience. "Yes, yes, no worries. You don't have to thank me. It's all just a part of being an awesome boyfriend."

Hiccup laughed. "I wonder, should I give you a kiss as a thank you?"

Jack posed as if with swagger, looking up at him with their classmate's infamous 'smolder' look, which was positively revolting. "See now, that sounds great, but you can't let down your hair since your locks are NOT that long, so I don't know. Is it really worth the trip up those stairs of yours?"

Hiccup placed both arms on the window frame and leaned forwards with a wink. "Trust me, I'll make it worth it."

Jack's grin turned seductive. "Well, in that case, I'll–"

Mildew ran out his door from across the street, screaming "WOULDJ'A BOTH SHUT THE HELL UP!" The old man was bull raging mad, spittle flying everywhere and staff being swung madly as he charged across the street. Jack yelped and bolted towards Hiccup's back door. Hiccup cursed in Swedish so badly that his mother must've turned in her grave as he rushed to open his door. In seconds, Jack was inside his house, Mildew was pounding up a storm at his front door, and both boys were giggling like maniacs.


	2. Chapter 2: Day 2: Asexuality

**Have some Sandman POV in subjective third. I'd like to think that he feels deeply for his companions, but has never gotten rid of this feeling of slight detachment. He is different from them, after all; it's not every being on Earth that originated as a star. The titles he gves them instead of addressing them by their names is supposed to be my weird (read:obvious) way of doing that. I hope I did him justice, Sanderson is by far my favorite Guardian.**

**I was also sick and tired of the usual 'HiJack in a relationship, one is asexual, boohoo insecurities'. I honestly believe that at that point in the relationship, they'd be comfortable enough and trusting enough with eachother to believe in eachother. And I also wanted to see how stars would reproduce in the Guardians of Childhood universe. (I haven't read the books either so it's basically a headcannon [fail] ) It was supposed to be more in depth, explaining the different options for sexuality and romance, but time ran out.**

**I'm really hoping I didn't offend anyone out there; it truly is not my intention to do so.**

**Concrit is love, concrit is life, but reviews in general make it all worthwhile. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I hope you enjoy this out-of-the-blue drabble, too. :)**

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**Rated K+**

**WARNING: Mentions of LGTBQ along with other sexual, romantic, and gender preferences, stars having babies, extreme confusion, disbelief, possible alchoholic drinks.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, intend to produce a profit from this piece of writing. This is for education purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Pacman, the Americas, theories in mortal science, eggnog, the ability to understand Dreamsand. Each of these are owned by their respective owners.**

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**Day 2: Asexuality**

"So...Wait, wait, wait, back up a minute. What?"

Sanderson rolled his eyes skyward and turned to the Dragon King, waving a golden palm towards the Winter Guardian in exasperation. The Dragon King nodded in understanding, sighing and attempting to re-explain everything they'd discussed over the last half-hour.

"Jack, think of it this way. Have you ever seen a star pair up with another star to have tiny little baby stars?"

The Winter King leaned forward, shifting his position for the third time in half as many minutes. Sanderson fully believed that he honestly could not stay still for a full sixty seconds. "Well, no, but what does that have to do with Sanderson being asexual?"

Now both Sanderson and the Dragon King looked to the Winter Guardian in confusion. The Dragon King answered in the Sandman's stead. "It has everything to do with Sandy being asexual. It's the whole reason why he's asexual."

The Winter Guardian set his staff against the window, ignoring the swirl of frost that erupted from the contact, leaning forward even more and hanging right off the windowsill. "What? How do stars connect to Sandy being asexual? I thought asexual was, like, being gay or something. Except you just don't like anyone. At all."

Sanderson gave the Winter Guardian a scandalized look. The Dragon King chuckled, rolling his shoulders backward as he adjusted himself into a more comfortable position on the couch. "Don't take it personal, Sandy. It's not you."

Sanderson lifted his arms upwards, a gentle shower of golden Dreamsand drifting into the air along with the movement, as he rolled his eyes once more and seemed to ask the Heavens 'why me?' The Dragon King chuckled again, but had his attention diverted to the Alpha Fury when it came running down the hall towards them, kicking up elves and toys alike. "Bud! Where've you been, you giant, scaled lizard!"

The Winter Guardian turned towards Sanderson with a determined look, as if understanding why the Sandman was asexual and what it had to do with stars was some sort of secret mission. "Okay Sandy. I need an explanation, ASAP."

Sanderson shrugged, a Pacman forming above his head while he crossed his arms together in an 'X'. He couldn't speak, so communicating effectively to his fellow Guardian would not be possible. The Winter Guardian pouted a little, turning back to the frost still decorating the windowpane, drawing little stars amidst it's swirls and patterns. Almost as if to himself, he murmured beneath his breath, "I just don't understand what stars have to do with it…"

Sanderson glowed a little stronger to capture his attention, but seeing as the Winter Guardian could not understand light-speech, he instead just directed some Dreamsand in the other's direction. The Winter Guardian turned back towards Sanderson, and the Sandman formed the image of a star above his head. The Winter Guardian nodded, leaning forward again with his right foot swaying gently from side to side. Sanderson then pointed to himself. The Winter Guardian blinked in shock, then lurched backwards, giving Sanderson a look half in shock and half in disbelief. "No, no way! You've gotta be joking."

"Nope! He is very much, 100% serious." The Dragon King suddenly entered the room once more, the Alpha Fury strutting proudly behind him with a stuffed fish toy in his mouth. Sanderson gave the Dragon King a grateful nod, but the Winter Guardian wasn't having any of that.

"Wait, wait, wait, what! Are you serious? You–Sandy, you're a star?!" Both Sanderson and the Dragon King nodded, and the Winter Guardian's jaw dropped. He quickly shut it, grabbed both legs up to cross them across the windowsill, and leaned forward with intent. "Hiccup, sit your butt down right now and explain."

The Dragon King chose to settle himself on the carpeted ground this time, stretching out next to the Alpha Fury and leaning against his long-time friend. "Not gunna happen." Sanderson couldn't help but chuckle at the Winter Guardian's shout of denial. The Alpha Fury playfully attempted to copy the Winter Guardian's previous exclamation, and the Dragon King grinned. "S'not my story to tell, Jack."

"Then how do you know about it?"

"I read it in a book somewhere down in the library."

The Winter Guardian gave both Sanderson and the Dragon King a glare. "Yeah, no. Not going to happen. No way am I getting lost in a dusty labyrinth filled with words on paper, trapped without fresh air and sunlight for days on end."

The Dragon King shook his head. "Wow. Just wow. You really need to try reading sometime, you know, so that you don't have this outrageously unrealistic perspective on what a book really is."

Sanderson snuck a glass of eggnog from a nearby elf, which stuck its tongue out at him at the same moment that the Winter Guardian stuck his own tongue out at the Dragon King. Both the Dragon King and Sanderson snickered in amusement.

The Winter Guardian snatched up his staff and with a single jump, landed cross-legged in front of Sanderson. "Alrighty then, story time. Or something. Just, someone explain to me what asexuality has to do with stars and Sanderson?"

Sanderson looked to the Dragon King and formed a helmet with horns above his head, letting it fade away only to transform into another Pacman. The Dragon King shrugged in agreement.

Sanderson began forming image after image with his Dreamsand. The Dragon King lifted himself up and focused, trying his best to rely to the Winter Guardian as accurately as possible what the Sandman was communicating to him.

"So, Sandy is a star. Yeah, I'm sure you'll sit on that a little bit later. But, going back to what we were saying before. Stars don't exactly have genders to define male and female, and they don't need another star to replicate themselves. According to mortal science, they sort of just...explode and...what? Really?! Oh, it's not true, oh okay. Jack–Jack, are you paying attention? Good. So, because Sandy is a star, he doesn't have… No, sorry, he doesn't feel–what? Doesn't feel... love? Huh?"

Sanderson shook his head no and made an 'X' with his arms. He motioned to the Dreamsand heart floating above his head, and then pointed down to his body. The Dragon King frowned in concentration.

"Um...love...for himself?

Sanderson wiggled his hand side to side, the universal 'so-so'.

"Uh...love for...his body?"

Sanderson thought for a moment. Yeah, they could work with that. He nodded and smiled encouragingly at the Dragon King. The Dragon King thought for a moment, brows furrowed in concentration, until the Winter Guardian suddenly sprang up with, "Oh! You don't feel bodily attraction! Sandy, you're not attracted to the body, only to the...heart!"

Sanderson clapped. The Winter Guardian proudly sat up straight, and the Dragon King clapped along with Sanderson. Once everyone calmed down again, the Dragon King turned to Sanderson. "So basically you're asexual but not aromantic?"

Sanderson nodded, but it was overlooked by the Winter Guardian asking the Dragon King, "When did you learn so much about asexuality, and aromance-whatever, and all that mumbo-jumbo."

Since Sanderson himself was interested in this answer, he allowed them to continue the conversation without his input.

The Dragon King looked to the floor while scratching his cheek, and Sanderson detected a light blush. Both he and the Winter Guardian grinned; it was always so amusing seeing the King so vulnerable.

"Well, uh… You see." The Dragon King cleared his throat and motioned to both himself and the Winter Guardian. "When...this...became a thing… I, well. I had some stuff to think over, find out about myself. And a little bit of research never hurt anyone, right? So, I looked into things, and found some interesting info. After a while, after we'd...figured this out, I didn't need it anymore, but it's interesting enough to browse through from time to time."

The Winter Guardian shrugged and hid a shy smile himself, but Sanderson saw. "Sounds about right." The Winter Guardian cleared his throat and shifted, as if preparing to say something, when Queen Toothiana suddenly dashed into the room at top speed.

"Ohmygosh I'm so late! I'm so sorry everyone I could've sworn I left on time but I decided to just head through the Americas since I had a few extra minutes and then I saw the cutest little cuspid ever and I just couldn't help myself in collecting it and then of course a believer was staying up a bit too late and wasn't brushing her teeth right so I had to go and give her some encouragement, because we all know how picky I am when it comes to lateral incisors, and then I went off to–"

The Winter Guardian jumped up to attempt to calm her down, but Sanderson stayed in his chair sipping his eggnog. It would be useless to try to still her energy anyways. The Dragon King lifted himself onto his one steady foot, and both he and the Alpha Fury left to go find the Bandit King and Easter the Pooka. Sanderson chuckled to himself and placed his empty cup of eggnog down, searching for another elf to be a victim of his eggnog-snatching.


	3. Chapter 3: Day 3: Booty

**I literaly drew a blank on this. Could not think of anything at all for it. I came up with nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. I looked at my computer screen and decided to write whatever random thing came to mind. That's how this piece of nonsense happened.**

**The rules to the alliteration-something battles are simple; simply try to think of a phrase more ridiculous than the last, making sure that the key words have all the same first letter, and if you can, first sound. Bonus points if you get the people around you to participate.**

**Wow this is the shortest thing I've put on this website, ever.**

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**Rated: K+**

**WARNING: Mentions of an offensive action, mentions of le two bumps of meat that joins your legs to your back and is comfy to sit on, asbsolutely RIDICULOUS humor, men applauding about le bum-bum, too much cheese, Hamlet is a first name, Jack has a really big behind, and bootylicious is now regarded as a real word (ugh, yucks, no, why, why did it get put in the dictionary why)**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, have formulated a plan to make Washingtons off of this document. (Translation: I don't want money for writing this) This is solely for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardiansm, Cheetos, Twizzlers, Hamlet, bootylicious' copy-rights as a word, a geek complaining, le sweg necessary to destroy at alliteration-something battles, or a campus.**

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**Day 3: Booty**

"There's nothing cheesier than an extra cheese pizza sprinkled with Cheetos.

"And there's nothing cornier than a corn dog made from corn on the cob."

"But there's nothing twist-ier than a Twizzler."

Hiccup frowned in thought. Hmm, it was going to be hard to beat Jack at that Twizzler comment. The white-haired teen was smirking at him, clearly thinking he'd won their weird, spontaneous alliteration-something battle. Astrid was lying down next to them, checking her watch and counting under her breath how many seconds Hiccup had left to respond. Hiccup suddenly thought of something he'd heard a fellow geek whining about the other day, and smirked so triumphantly that even Snotlout paid attention to this last remark.

"Last I checked, there was nothing more bootylicious than a booty."

The room was dead silent for a moment as everyone took a sudden intake of breath. Tuffnut rolled into an upright position, stared at Hiccup with solemn eyes, and then started up a slow clap. Snotlout joined in, then Fishlegs, and after Aster and North. Before long, all the boys in the room were clapping, and even a few girls (like Merida and Astrid). Hiccup nodded, wetting his lips and savoring the victory, raising his arms as if saying 'yeah man, I know, I know, it just happened bruh'. He stood up and bowed, ignoring how Jack flashed him the finger. His boyfriend had always been something of a sore loser anyways.

From that day forth, Class 229 forever respected Hamlet 'Hiccup' Haddock, regardless of his first name. For he was the one, and the one and only, to put out there how bootylicious a booty was.

(And it only made sense, seeing as he was gay and the boyfriend of Jack Frost A.K.A Biggest-Butt-On-Campus.)

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**I promise the ones after this won't be as ridiculous (hopefully).**


	4. Chapter 4: Day 4: Catastrophe

**I decided to go ahead and put this up, since I already have it and honestly, Booty was just way too short for my personal standards. This one doesn't really have any humor, it's pretty just normal and mellow in the feelings department. Maybe that will cancel out the ridulousity of the last chapter?**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed!**

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**Rated: T**

**(I think I'm doing this rating thing wrong)**

**WARNING: BAD ACCENTS. VERY BAD ACCENTS. DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE ACCENT PART OF IT. Tsunamis, mentions of mistrust and disobediance of a higher authority, mentions of running away from home, ONE SINGLE CURSE WORD, a bad ending, angry book-verse Toothless, a human-kissing-ghost thing.**

**Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form have chosen to bring in revenue from this writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Tangled, a ship, a ghost, a Valkyrie, a secret way to survive a tsunami in the middle of the sea.**

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**Day 4: Catastrophe**

"Captain!"

Captain Horrendous squinted against the raging storm as if the gallons of rain and turbulent waves were simply light summer breezes against his winter coat. He searched, and waited, but could see nothing over the giant tsunami. What in Woden's name were they going to do now?

"CAPTAIN!"

He whirled around with a vicious snarl. "Aye know, Merita!"

The Scottswoman snarled right back. "Git yoor stankin' head outtah yoor arse and HELP US NOT DIE!"

With a single gesture, Toothless sailed off his shoulders and right into her nest of red curls, squawking and squabbling and pecking at her like only a proper nuisance could. Captain Horrendous marched to the helm and gripped the wheel with arms and legs strengthened from years at sea. With a determined gaze, he stared straight at the tsunami that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"No one is tyin' on mai ship!"

He yanked the wheel around with a yell and spun the ship so that their Valkyrie figurehead was pouring her ale towards the tsunami. Merida managed to swat the dragon away from her face long enough to squeak in shock. "Heccup! Yuu bloody FOOL, are yuu tryin' t' kell us–"

"Merida!"

The Scottswoman looked to her blonde friend. The previously sweet girl had the fiercest expression Merida had ever seen. "I know you're new, but trust our Captain. He will get us through this." Her gaze was hard with absolute trust and extreme admiration for the person of which she spoke. "No one ever dies on his ships."

Merida swallowed down her fear and tried to drag her courage back from the bottom of her belly.

Captain Horrendous gritted his teeth with the effort of keeping the ship steady. "Thank ye, Repunzal! Coult'ya to me a flavah ant get Frost?"

The cook/medic nodded. "Aye aye, Cap'n!" With a salute, she whipped her head around and sped off to the cabins, her blonde hair and pink cloak trailing after her.

"Fishlegs!"

The large navigator shrieked and jumped back into reality, eyes watery and almost blubbering all over himself. "C-Captain!"

"Open all th' masts! When Repunzal returns, summon Frost ant tirect him to me!"

"Y-Yes, Captain!"

The man rushed off to complete his tasks, slipping around on deck like he had shoes made of soap.

"Flynn, Tuff, you help get those masts open!"

"Aye!" The pair sped off, grabbing onto ropes and swinging themselves forward for better leverage.

"Merita!"

The redhead whipped her attention back to her Captain, who looked her straight in the eye.

"Aye neet you to go ant relieve Ruff of her tuty. Bolt town everything you see on your way there, ant make sure our captive is secure. Might as well secure yerselves, too." The man smiled, and Merida realized just how insane he truly was. "This is gonna be a bumpy rite!"

They were in a catastrophe, and yet everyone was relatively… calm about it. Like it was an everyday occurrence. It was all she could do to nod and obey.

By the time she'd made it to Ruffnut, she could hear the deafening roar of the tsunami all the way to the lower level of the ship. The wood was groaning with the effort to withstand the pull of the ocean, and Merida could feel her heart wrestling its way right out of her mouth. Fuck that, it seemed all her innards were aching to spill out of every hole, every pore it could. For the first time in her life, she understood what terror truly was.

And as she stumbled into the prisons to find Ruffnut already tied down, her and their prisoner Princess Astrid both having an air of nonchalance with underlying excitement–

And afterwards, when they'd miraculously survived the catastrophic tsunami–she wouldn't ask, she swore to herself, she wouldn't–and began celebrating like the barbarians they were–

And even after that, when they were all wasted and her head was a muddled mess that she thought she saw Captain Horrendous and Ghostly Frost kiss–

She suddenly realized that to want to live on the sea was to be a fucking maniac.

Oh how she wished she'd never run away from her duties now.


	5. Chapter 5: Day 5: Discovery

**Same AU as the previous. This gives a little more insight to it, and I don't know if this can count as part of the prompt...? It's, uh, pre-slash? Maybe? I honestly have no clue. I just type stuff and put it up here. I'm probably destroying all these prompts (not in the good way) but uh, yah. More weird pirate AUs, woohoo~**

_**To the boy katniss: I'm so sorry that none of these prompts have been romantic yet. I'm trying so hard to get it to be a romance, but my creativity works in weird ways, and whenever I can catch it I do, I don't (exactly) have contorl over it. Scrolling through the prompts and what I have here... Um... I think Day 8: (free) is when I'll be able to squeze in some romance without angst or humor. Or maybe Day 13: Keepsake. Oh wow, yeah, definitley for Keepsake, I'll do something so romantic you'll probably vomit rainbows of love, lols. Thank you so much for sticking through this and reviewing every time, it means so much to me. I'll try and come up with something so ridiculously lovey-dovey that it will satisfy your romance needs. T^T Please bear with me.**_

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**Rated T because well.. even though this could probably pass off as K+, I'm realizing now that I'd rather be innacurate but safe instead of accidentaly ruining a poor kid's childhood. Or getting banned, either or.**

**WARNING:OOCNESS to the MAX, TERRIBLE ACCENTS, mentions of ghosts, mentions of future manipulation, mentions of power-hungry pirates, mentions of scrolls, mentions of future, mentions of colonial times refered as dinosaur times, mentions of bullying in the adult-sea-farring fashion (not good stuff, not good at all).**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am a mastermind willing to manipulate others into giving me money for this piece of writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Treasure Planet, Father Time, AD, CE, BC, dinosaurs, any colonies, correct terminology in regards to time travel, inter-galactical-sea-travel, scrolls.**

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**Day 5: Discovery**

"C-Captain? Captain!"

Captain Horrendous turned towards Fishlegs with a friendly smile. "Yes, Mastah Finnegan? Arr there any problems?" His last word was punctuated by a shrewd look to Snotlout. For his part the crewmember played it off as an innocent, tilting his head in question but doing a terrible job of hiding his vicious smile. half-laughed, half-croaked at the exchange, thankful for the Captain for still calling him by his real name, and yet weary of what the deckhand would do because of it. Snotlout was infamous for his cruelty, no matter how much of a half-wit he was.

"W-Well, y-you see Captain, I f-f-found this very int-interesting scroll from the treasure we recov-cov-covered–"

"Out with it already!", Snotlout snarled, and Fishlegs yelped in fear. Captain Horrendous immediately kicked his crewmate's arse with his peg leg, growling out a command to leave. Snotlout hissed at his Captain, but Horrendous only fingered his fire-sword, while Toothless was the one to hiss back. Snotlout grumbled, but walked away, and Captain Horrendous huffed before turning back to as if nothing had happened. "Yes, Mastah Finnegan?"

Fishlegs cleared his throat, offered as best a grateful smile as he could, and continued. "M-Main point is, this scroll contains some information you might r-really want to know."

Captain Horrendous nodded. "Alrih' then. Where is it?"

Fishlegs motioned the Captain to follow him, and they eventually ended up in Fishlegs' cabin. With trembling hands and growing excitement, Fishlegs scrambled through all the artifacts he'd recovered, murmuring under his breath the alphabet as he scrolled through the...well, scrolls. Captain Horrendous looked around the room with amusement, as it was filled to the brim with what he'd consider junk but was apparently of some sort of value to Fishlegs.

"Aha! Here it is!"

Both men bent over the table as Fishlegs smoothed out the scroll. Captain Horrendous noticed that Fishlegs became much more confident when working in his area of expertise, this being most noticeable by his lack of stuttering. Hm, interesting.

"You see, Captain Horrendous, this is Ancient Colonish, back from AD 1700 to AD 1800."

Captain Horrendous blinked. "Uh, that's not...ancient.

Fishlegs turned to the Captain with a confused look. "What do you mean? We're beyond year 3345 CE. AD is to us almost as far as the Dinosaur era was to the AD."

"Oh, right. Aye forgot." Of course Captain Horrendous forgot. He was only the captain of the most efficient time-faring spaceship ever. He probably didn't care much about what current era they were in, only on what was in that time to benefit them.

Fishlegs cleared his throat. "Uh, um. Well. So, as I was saying, this scroll is in Ancient Colonish. It took me three days to decode it–that's why I'm coming to you about this now, after all this time. It's hard to decode Colonish without a proper translator. I had to use Old Latin and mash it together with Early CE English, a horrible combination by the way, and–"

"What's the point of all this, Mastah Finnegan?"

"R-Right!" Fishlegs picked up a ruler and pointed to the middle left of the document. "You see right there?"

"Yes."

"Well, this is clearly 'the Great Ghostly Frost'! A-And the rest, it's basically a description of where to find it! Well, this is really a story, but–"

"What's that? The Grand Ghastly Forest?"

"Wh–No! The Great Ghostly Frost. You've never heard of it? The apparition plaguing nearly 300 years of time, submerging the world in below zero temperatures and ice as hard as stone?"

"Well, now Aye've heard of it."

Fishlegs gave the Captain a disappointed look, then moved back to the scroll.

"Anyways, this scroll contains what I believe to be the original story of the Great Ghostly Frost! It speaks of what its hometown, and how it came to be, and how to summon it! Why, I've even found directions on how to seal and control its power!"

Captain Horrendous did indeed look surprised, but not impressed. "Well, that's...grand. Now how does this concern me and my ship?"

"It's my ship and I." The Captain gave Fishlegs a dark look. "Sir." The Captain's dark look became nearly as black as night. Fishlegs gulped and tugged on his collar. "R-Right. Well, think about it. With a being this powerful, nothing could stop you."

"How so?"

"Well...It's the Great Ghostly Frost. With the entirety of Winter under your control, I honestly don't see how you couldn't become Father Time with it. It just goes against all logical explanation, to deny someone with such a mighty power as that of the Great Ghostly Frost."

Captain Horrendous looked at him, and began to grin. His smile stretched almost ear to ear when he suddenly grabbed FIshlegs up in a jolly side-hug, jostling his shoulder and bringing him close to give him a heavy pat on the head. "Now this is the kind of discovery I've been waiting for! I knew keeping you on board would turn out to be a good choice one day, FIshlegs." With another pat, the Captain strode out the door and slammed it shut.

Already, Fishlegs could hear Captain Horrendous shouting out orders to turn the ship around towards the Colonial era. He sighed, feeling a heavy amount of dread begin to settle in his stomach. It took him a few more moments to realize that the Captain had called him Fishlegs, not Finnegan, and his dread transformed into a pile of stones made of serious foreboding.


	6. Chapter 6: Day 6: Eventually

**So, judging by the ideas I have swarming in my head for the following prompts, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a while until we get back to ridiculous silly humor guys.**

**I want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far. It means so much to me to see everyone take the time to jot something down, and I know it sometimes takes ginormous amounts of courage to do it, too. Thank you, all.**

**This AU is a little weird, since it combines a whole bunch of fandoms together. To explain it minimally; think X-Men universe, with Hiccup as a Professor X who believes in Magneto's morals. So their main target is the government and blackmarketers who deal with supernatural creature slavery, and supernatural creatures are the mutants. I think that about sums it up...?**

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**Rated T**

**WARNING: Abandonment issues, a paragraph containing a sentence of (intense?) gore, mistreatment of friends, major character death (hardly even mentioned), leaving a loved one behind, mentions of a terrible past(?), and uh... I think that's it? Just in case–CURSE WORDS (maybe)**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am aiming to take financal advantages for this piece of writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How to Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Guardians of Childhood, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry, Norse mythology, Helheim, fire, heterochromia, a soul mate, a boarder, or a magical military camp in the middle of who-knows-where.**

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**Day 6: Eventually**

No, no, no!

Jack's feet skid through a patch of spontaneous ice, and he growled in frustration. Within seconds, he'd leapt onto the Wind, and then they were roaring down the marketplace. Persons and creatures alike gasped and whirled in shock, surprise colouring them all kinds of different shades of blue. Jack paid them no mind, focused on one goal and one goal only: to get there in time.

Within minutes he was zooming through the Forbidden Forest. Left, right, left, left, spin up and around, repeat. Trees jumped into his field of vision and left him with milliseconds to react, but he didn't care. If he crashed, he'd get right back up and keep flying. He had to get there in time.

A few faeiries, most likely Tooth's helpers, zipped in front of him. One in particular, with heterochromic blue-and-violet eyes, twittered madly in his ear. No, Jack, she spoke to him in a language he himself didn't know existed. Turn around, Jack. Don't do it, Jack. Jack. Jack. Ja–

He snarled and swung his staff around, a mini eruption of ice and snow coating the space around him. The faeiries shrieked and sped off, leaving their multi-lingual sister behind. She hovered sadly mid-air, unharmed and giving him a look full of empathy. He gave her a murderous look. "I don't care, Baby Tooth! I can't just let him leave!"

And then he was off again.

He burst forth onto the Plains, covered in cracking ice and falling branches and dead leaves. He took a few seconds to scan the area in front of him, panting, Western whirling uneasily around his body. And then he spotted a figure, so far away they were just a splotch of black against the setting sun and heat haze of the Plains. He knew who it was, and he knew why they were out there, and he knew exactly how many footsteps it would take them to cross over the border–

Jack shot forward at almost the speed of light, knowing sound could never reach them fast enough. He even left the winds behind, he was so fast, but all he could think was no no no please no, not know, not after all this, I need you please don't go–

"HICCUP!"

They slammed into each other, the force sending them rolling into the sand. Jack clutched his other half tight to his chest, shivering and gasping from the amount of energy expended, unwilling to let go and depart with the meaning of his existence, with the one thing left in his life that he could love.

Hiccup hugged him right back, squeezing him as hard as he could. "J-Jack, I–"

Jack pulled back and looked Hiccup in the eyes. Hiccup was off, rambling about how sorry he was to leave like this, about how he should have told him, about how cowardly he'd been to go without saying goodbye. Jack looked into those green eyes, those emeralds once filled with wonder and hope and fun and memories and love, now empty and broken and shattered and crumbling in his cold palms. Jack looked into the eyes of his love and found himself unable to beg Hiccup to stay.

That's why he'd come here, after all. Not to let Hiccup go, not to yell at him for attempting to leave without a word to anyone but Astrid, not to sob like a child and wail at the injustice. He'd come here to drop to his knees and grovel for Hiccup to stay with them.

And he knew that if he did that, Hiccup would fall to the ground, wrap him up, and whisper sweet nothings while promising to never leave. Because that's the kind of man Hiccup was. Someone who would always put others first, someone who would wait until they were beyond their boiling point, someone who would sit there and burn and die in silence, and once they were beyond their limits, they'd only think of those they loved and cut their tongues out of their mouths to stay quiet.

So when Jack looked into Hiccup's eyes and saw the need to get away, he surged forward and captured his lips in a loving embrace. It was quick, lasted no more than two seconds, but it was enough. With a voice hoarse from keeping back tears, he voiced the one question he'd always need an answer to.

"You'll come back...right?"

Hiccup swallowed, and Jack saw a teardrop gently fall down his cheek. The ex-rider–because how could he stay a rider, now that Toothless was dead?–smiled with pain and love and gave a simple answer.

"Eventually."

It was enough for Jack.

He stood up, helping Hiccup to his feet. He brushed him off, simply because it was an excuse to touch him for just a little longer. He hugged him, squeezing him, and then he stepped out of their embrace. Jack swallowed against the sudden rush of I love yous and don't gos and please stays and I'll miss yous and don't leave me alones. He forged a dam made of ice and shoved all of it down, down, down into the bottom of his heart. He imagined Nightlight's dagger stabbing into the mass and sealing it up in this itty-bitty snowball. He pictured himself tossing the snowball into the flames of Helheim. He watched it burn and melt and evaporate into nothing.

He smiled and ignored the frozen droplet of a tear that fell into the sand at their feet.

"Go. And make sure that when you come back...you believe."

Hiccup's smile broadened, and the two lovers squashed all their sufferings into nothing. As one, they turned around. Jack began striding purposefully back to the main camp, and Hiccup stepped outside the border, ignoring the shimmering distortion of space and the nauseous feeling of leaving home behind.

It would take time, but eventually, they'd meet again someday.


	7. Chapter 7: Day 7: Family

**This radically got out of my control. Woah.**

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**Rated T borderline M**

**WARNING: Uh... A lot of stuff! Alchoholism, gore, Toy Story AU gone bad, um, dismembering, body parts NOT where they should be, uh, extreme thievery, tooth-overload, eternal frozen statues, just... I don't know how to post warnings. Just DON'T think this is pretty. What it DOESN'T have are examples of rape and sexual acts, um...yeah... Don't think this is going to be pretty. It's not. It's very much not.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, prefer moneterial donations instead of simple reviews for this piece of writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Guardians of Childhood, Toy Story, Barbie/ Barbie the Company, Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Lilo and Stich, McDonald's, Robin Hood, teeth with blood and gums on them, a pile of gold, a toy heart, feet big enough to squash Barbie dolls.**

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**Day 7:Family**

Together, they stepped through the door and into the living room.

Hiccup awed at his new perspective. From his own body, everything looked so different. Everything was tiny and small, barely noticeable, all the colors bright and cheery. The attic's lighting wasn't much, but it was still there, and Hiccup liked to think that it gave his toy house that familiar, yellow glow of a comfortable home.

But this was a drastically different story.

Now, standing side-by-side with his favorite toy Jack Frost figurine, he couldn't help but look around with his mouth hanging open. The living room was no longer the calming beige hue he remembered so well, but a dark and discomforting brown. The table wasn't straight and tidy, but overturned and missing a leg. The couch was dirty and worn down with tears. The TV screen was broken like something had smashed through. Even the carpet, now grey instead of white, was stained and even slightly burned in some areas.

"Different, isn't it?"

Hiccup turned to look at Jack, snapping his mouth shut and wincing as his front teeth came too close to the tip of his tongue. Jack closed and locked the door behind them, casually leaning against it as he looked around the living room like it was something he saw everyday. "Things look different when you're using our eyes."

Hiccup looked back to the unsettling scenario and took an instinctive step closer towards Jack, wishing for some comfort already. "Y-Yeah… I didn't know things were so different in the dollhouse."

"The dollhouse didn't change." Hiccup's eyes shot to Jack. "You did."

That simple statement confused Hiccup more than anything else that night so far.

Jack's lips suddenly split into a smile so wide that Hiccup swore it must've hurt. "C'mon, Hiccup! I want to show you to the rest of the family." The figurine surged forward and wrapped cold hands around the boy's tiny wrists, their firm grip forcing him to follow.

"W-Wait a minute Jack, I don't think–"

But then they entered the kitchen and Hiccup froze in horror.

Lying spread-eagled on the dining table was his old Ken doll. Its face was disgustingly twisted into an expression of fear. It's left arm was turned around in the wrong direction, and its right arm was completely gone, something red looking suspiciously like blood leaking from the open hole. It was striped down bare to the very plastic that gave its shape. Its legs were propped against a chair, disconnected from the main body, covered in that same red goop dripping from the arm. Its torso was cut open, and Hiccup's view was thankfully blocked by a familiar stuffed rabbit.

"B-Bunny?!", the little boy squeaked, and the rabbit only gave a grunt. His paws were digging in and fussing around inside Ken's body. Jack gave Hiccup a playful ruffle with his hair. "Sorry kid. He decided to switch his name. Everyone here calls him Aster, now."

Hiccup was too busy staring at poor Ken's face to notice the look passed between his stuffed rabbit and his favorite figurine.

"So! Aster, meet Hiccup. Hiccup, meet Aster." The stuffed rabbit gave another grunt and yanked upwards: a horrible squelching noise echoed around the room, and in between his dyed-red–bloodied, Hiccup was sure that was blood–paws, there was a red heart. It beat twice every second, they could hear it from all the way over here, and a distance part of Hiccup wondered why the heart was shaped the way someone would half-heartedly draw it and not like how the doctor showed him. Fake hearts didn't beat, did they?

And then Hiccup realized that Bunny was holding a beating heart that he'd ripped out from Ken's chest with his bare hands. He made a sound that was a something of a gag crossed with a sob.

Jack cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well then. You're clearly very busy, so...Hiccup? Want to go meet Tooth?"

Hiccup couldn't nod his head fast enough.

Jack dragged the fear-stricken boy out of the kitchen and into a corridor covered in shadows. The first door was a deep violet, with swirly golden letters spelling 'Toothiana' across the top. Jack politely knocked on it first before turning the knob and entering. Hiccup stopped at the doorstep, his poor little mind still trying to process the horrific sight he just witnessed.

Inside, the room looked relatively normal, if a little too dark. He remembered the bed covers being green, and not violet, but that was a small detail he didn't care much for. Hiccup just wanted his normal toys back. Sitting on her bed was Toothiana the Tooth Fairy. He remembered getting her at McDonald's, once, and instantly falling in love with how colorful she was. When he'd first redecorated the dollhouse, he'd made sure to make her room have as many colors as possible. Her walls were still rainbow, they were just a darker shade than he initially remembered them as. But that was okay. Toothy looked like she was normal, unlike Bunny, who…

Hiccup shivered. Jack smiled comfortingly and pushed Hiccup inside the room. "Don't worry, she doesn't bite. Much."

Something about that sentence made Hiccup extremely wary of his Tooth Fairy toy.

She suddenly sprung to life as soon as he set a foot beyond her door. She smiled brilliantly at him and suddenly rushed forward on wings abuzz with energy. "Hi, Hiccup! Oh, I'm so happy to meet you. And your teeth!" She stuck her fingers inside his mouth and he yelped around the appendages. "Wow! Oh, they're so cute–and they could use a little work, too." She pulled back, frowning at him. "Hiccup. You have the beginnings of a cavity on your second molar. Why?"

Hiccup blinked. "U-Uh–The kitchen! B-Bunny is–"

"The kitchen has nothing to do with your teeth, Hiccup." Her suddenly quiet tone made Hiccup want to curl up in bed and cry himself to sleep. His bottom lip trembled and he stepped back. He bumped into Jack's chest, and the figurine comfortingly laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You should know better than this, Hiccup! Here, let me show you what teeth are supposed to look like." She snatched his arm and he gasped at the contact, even as she dragged him towards her armoire. He dug his feet into the lavender carpet, twisting to try and get away, but the Tooth Fairy was a lot stronger then she looked. With a yank he stumbled forward, and she steadied him with one hand while she used the other to fling open the door of her ornate closet.

Rows upon rows upon rows of glistening, glittering, sparkling, white-polished teeth were set in velvet and bolted onto the shelves of the armoire. Most were bloody around the roots. Some even still had a little bit of gum stuck to them. All of them were whole and complete, like they'd been yanked out instead of simply falling off.

Hiccup clapped a hand around his mouth and rushed out of the room.

"Hiccup?" He could hear Jack calling behind him. "Hiccup!" He didn't stop.

Remembering where the bathroom was from the many times he'd played with this toy house, Hiccup shoved open the door and stumbled inside. Instead of being pearly white and clean, it was stained and half of everything in there was broken. There wasn't a single light on inside the bathroom. It reeked of shit and sweat, and something else that reminded him strongly of what his Dad would drink late at night when he was supposed to be asleep. Hanging off the edge of the toilet and vomiting silently was Sandy, who he'd made himself from Moonsand. The man stopped for moment, looking up to him, the yellow color of his sand dull and his face all droopy.

Hiccup turned on his heel and shot out.

"Hiccup!"

He slammed right into Jack, used the wall to regain his balance, and kept running. He nearly kicked down another door, and found the Robin Hood-esque superhero, Nicholas North the Bandit King, perched atop a pile of gold. The large man was laughing like a maniac, sliding down what Hiccup was sure was stolen goods. At the bottom, he leapt off, his big foot stomping through the head of another Barbie doll. It squished under his weight and then erupted in a shower of red.

Hiccup shrieked and tripped over himself on the way out.

Jack caught the child, by now a sobbing mess, and gently carried him to another room. Hiccup moaned, saying "No, no more" and "I want to go home." and "Don't let them hurt me." Jack shushed him gently, lying him down on a cold bed, petting his hair softly. "Don't you worry Hiccup. I'll take good care of you, I promise."

Hiccup opened his eyes just a crack and was blinded by light. Once he felt it was safe enough, he sat up, clutching Jack's hand in his. The room they were in was a light blue, and the walls were covered in ice. Above, there was a whole that had been cut into the ceiling, and because of that the moonlight was able to fall towards them without interruption. It reflected off all the ice, lighting up the room almost as bright as a star.

Hiccup felt himself calming down. This room was bright, cheery, and magical. He liked this. He crawled into Jack's lap and hugged the figurine tight around the neck. Jack chuckled softly, patting his back, and whispered "I'll make sure that you're my favorite of them all."

Confused, Hiccup opened his eyes.

All along the wall were little boys and girls, just like him. They were stone cold and frozen in time, little ice statues captured in eternal terror. Their skin was blue with death, their eyes were sunken in, and their mouths were unnaturally wide with their lips chapped and torn. And he recognized some of them, too. There was Peter and his sister Bell from California, sticking together even in death, sobbing because neither of them was saved. Over there was Lilo from Hawaii, the only other person on that island that hadn't had a friend, and she was forever alone and forever hugging herself from the cold. And there was Astrid, on her knees and screaming in pain, a perfect statue of an eternal nightmare.

Jack squeezed him closer and frost decorated their arms. "We'll be friends forever."

Hiccup screamed.


	8. Chapter 8: Day 8: (free)

**As you can probably tell, my keyboard was a big help in this. Sometimes staring for hours at your keyboard actually helps gain inspiration.**

**_To the boy katniss:_ _I'm so sorry, I tried doing the romance thing here and it just grew legs and ran away from me. This counts as...romance-ey, right? Okay, definitley for Keepsake, it'll be romance-overload for sure. I owe you that much, at least._**

_**To everyone else: Thank you so much for reviewing. I don't know how to express my gratitude beyond saying thank you. If any of you have any pointers, or would prefer a specific genre, I could try something for it. Either way, each review I see makes something inside me sing for joy, so please, keep doing so!**_

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**Rated K (I'm pretty sure this is K, right?)**

**WARNING: Extreme confidence issues, guys, uh, usage of keyboard symbols personified as human beings, um, you could tell I was blank at this, POV is confusing, er, it's all just pretty weird.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am waiting for income from this piece of writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, a keyboard with all the pieces on it, inspiration for a proper insert for this prompt, romance because what in the snooze is romance?!, people who are dressed in amperstand and asterisk costumes.**

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**Day 8: (free) Asterisk**

The number 8 on your keyboard hides a very interesting secret behind it. It hides the asterisk, this beautiful little thing that deserves so much more than a simple 8.

The asterisk looks like a star; it's a pattern of black lines all overlapping themselves into this little dot of goodness. It almost seems to glow right out at you, doesn't it? That little black dot that when you look a little closer at it becomes such a magnificent beauty. It's shy, hiding behind the 8, but bold enough to float above it in all its brilliance.

The asterisk is my Jack.

Look to the next key on the left. There, right there. See it? It's the number 7. And hiding behind it, obnoxious and ugly is the ampersand. Ugh, gross. How dare it be next to the asterisk? It takes up too much space. It's useful for one thing only, unlike the asterisk, which has at least two glorious uses (if not more). The ampersand sits atop 7 in awkwardness, not in brilliance (like the asterisk). The ampersand is made up of one single line that curls in and twists around itself in confusion. It's gross. I mean, just look at them together.

Can you see the difference? Look at the beauty, at the glory of the asterisk. And then look at the simple, awkward ampersand. Do you understand?

I am the ampersand.

But though the ampersand is undeserving of being so close to such a heavenly symbol as the asterisk, it always is. Like the peanut butter to the jelly, like the ice cream to the cone, the ampersand will always be right before and next to the asterisk on a computer keyboard.

Like the letter keys H and J.

See it? Go ahead, look for them. I'll wait.

Found them? Good.

See, H is right next to J. Try and check your other computer keyboards. They should all be fashioned the same. Simple, awkward H is always right next to brilliant, fun, curvy J.

H J

I, Hiccup, am the ampersand and the H. I am undeserving and under-qualified to be next to Jack, the asterisk, the J.

And yet I can't help but be overwhelmingly happy that I am.

For I love Jack, the J, the asterisk, with all my weird and simple and awkward heart, and I don't think I'd be able to leave his side even if I wanted to.


	9. Chapter 9: Day 9: Gamble

**This is in the same AU as Eventually was. I have a fic in the making for it but I'm not quite sure I should put it up...**

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**Rated T**

**WARNING: THE OOCENSS IS EXTREME. Curse words, anger issues, abandonement issues, muddy tunnels, war-but it's only lightly touched upon, descriptions of the physical alterations of stress and depression, young boys with too many responsibilities, angst, hidden love, sacrifices for mankind, amnesia, Texas Hold'Em.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am insinuating in a subtle manner that money is a better profit for this piece of writing instead of reviews. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own how To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Texas Hold'Em, Dragons: Riders of Berk, green eyes, tunneled war shelters, game chips, fire powers.**

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**Day 9: Gamble**

"No! Jack, I can't let you–"

"Hiccup, you're not letting me do anything. I'm old enough to think for myself!"

"This is different! You know what, no. You're not even going. You're staying in camp–"

"What?!"

"–a-and you'll help, I don't know, you'll help Astrid keep the supernatural creatures calm. I can't let you go near him–"

"Hiccup!"

"NO!"

Jack lurched backwards in shock. He stared through wide eyes at Hiccup, only realizing just now how badly the commander looked. For months, Pitch and Dagur had been attacking them from both sides. The impromptu war had taken its toll on everyone, even the new Rescues like Jack. Even though he hadn't been on the front lines, Hiccup was clearly worn down.

Jack remembered when he was first Rescued, and how vibrant this place had been. Now, things were dreary and grey. Hiccup had been full of determination and a healthy dose of sarcastic stubbornness only six months ago; now, he looked as if the life had been sucked right out of him. And who could blame him? He was only 18 and yet he was in charge of an entire rebellion.

Hiccup looked at him now, eyes wild in panic. He was too skinny, not that cute dorky slim but actually, unhealthily skinny. His hair had lost its healthy sheen of red and was now dull and damp from sweat and bad eating habits. His clothes were rumpled; he had bags under his eyes from countless all-night watches. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. Jack doubted they ever would.

Jack was sure he looked almost as bad, if not worse.

Hiccup swallowed, taking a step back and looking up towards the dirt ceiling. Aster had built this underground camp point a few years ago, and had abandoned it because of lack of sunlight. It had proven to be a valuable asset in war, and provided a great vantage point into the enemy lines. "I...I can't let you just give yourself up to him. What if he–He could–" He took in a shaky breath. "I can't, Jack. I can't."

Jack walked forward and placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulders. That simple action seemed to be a catalyst, and suddenly Hiccup was hugging him and dry sobbing into his shoulders.

Jack had no idea what to do. He couldn't remember ever being in a situation like this, and from what little he remembered of Emma, he couldn't recall ever helping her through a good cry. He awkwardly patted Hiccup on the back, rubbing gently, before squeezing him to try and convey some comfort. Internally, he was freaking out; this went way beyond his boundaries for comfortable physical contact. But he could hold through it if it was for Hiccup.

"Hiccup, I...I have to do this. You heard what he said. 'Give me Jack Frost and I'll surrender.' That's what he said. You know it."

Hiccup squeezed him so hard that it hurt. Jack just grit his teeth and bore through it. "No! I-I can't–"

Alright now this was just getting ridiculous.

"Damn it Haddock!"

Jack pushed him off, and Hiccup gave him a wide-eyed look. "Stop being a baby about shit! Listen, we both know that the rebellion won't survive if we fight off both Dagur and Pitch at the same time."

"It will, it has to–"

"It won't! You call yourself our commander, and yet you keep getting yourself all mixed up in emotional shit! Face it, Hiccup. This is the breakthrough we need! This is the only way we're going to get out of this alive!"

Hiccup surged forward in anger, so angry that he was spitting the words instead of just saying them. "But you won't! I can't just trade your life for everyone else's!"

Jack didn't say anything, only giving Hiccup a look. A look that said it all.

Hiccup blinked and stepped back in shock. "No, no wait–"

"Hiccup."

"No! I-I don't want to–FUCK!" The rider whirled around and roared, an angry jet of fire roasting a wall right through. It melted and singed into burning mud. Hiccup roughly kicked at nothing, paced around once, and then dropped against another wall. He slid his back down against it, propping his foot and prosthetic up with his arms in his lap. He gripped his hands tightly, trying to force them to stop trembling, and swallowed hard.

Jack sighed, and made his way to sit next to him. "You and I both know this is the only option."

Hiccup's whole body shivered.

"As you said it, it's either me or the entire population of supernatural creatures. I'm not worth over a hundred thousand lives, Hiccup."

It was barely a whisper, but Jack still managed to hear it. "To me you are…"

Jack's heart swelled at the love hidden in that statement, but he squashed his emotions down. They were in a war, Hiccup was the head of the Defenders, and Jack was just this broken piece of ice. They were going through too much shit to pay attention to nasty little things like crushes.

"Even if. You won't sacrifice so many people just for me."

It was silent for a few moments. "You're right. I won't." Jack looked to Hiccup, thinking he'd won. Hiccup gave him a sad, empty smile instead. "But I can't just let you go without trying to stop you."

Jack nodded in understanding. Quietly, he shifted and leaned into Hiccup's body. Hiccup wiggled and brought a hand out to hold him close. The position was a little too close for friendly, but neither cared. This might as well be the last time they saw each other.

"How about a game of Texas Hold'em? If you win, I'll let you go without a struggle. If you don't, we'll battle it out.", asked Hiccup.

Jack snorted. "I suck at that game."

Hiccup gave him a side-grin, a little less fake than before. "Exactly."

Jack rolled onto his feet and started searching for a deck of cards. "Fuck you."

Hiccup laughed, a broken sound that Jack couldn't ever remember hearing from him. They reset the table they'd kicked over when they'd first entered the room in a flurry of fists. Hiccup quickly set up the game while Jack aimlessly organized the chips. "I can't believe you're leaving this all up to a game of poker. It doesn't sound like you. Then again, you always did like to gamble."

Hiccup set down the last card, and gave him a small smile that screamed of suffering. "Only when the odds are in my favor."

It was the first and only game of poker Jack ever won.


	10. Chapter 10: Day 10: Hooligan

**This ending is ridiculous, but time ran out :( I was going to have Jack come out of nowhere and save Jamie, but… Jamie apparently wanted to die, and Astrid apparently wanted some spotlight, so yeah. And yes, I do know that Valkyries technically have nothing to do with judgment upon a soul; Hiccup meant it in the sense where they would decide if Jamie's soul went to Valhalla or stayed in Midguard. Or something like that.  
**

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**Rated T to be safe**

**Warning: ONE CURSE WORD, murder, theft, illegal activities, organized crime, attempted murder, mentions of drugs and alchohol, unrequieted love, lover sold you out, a gun (I don't know guns so bear with me, guys), one sentance of slight gore, a mobster boss trying really hard to confuse and frighten a not-really-criminal and only just confusing them because what the flowers?**

**I DO NOT PROMOTE THESE ACTIVITIES. I AM USING THEM IN A CREATIVE SETTING FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shapre, or form, intend to make a profit out of this piece of writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Grand Theft Auto III, a .50 Desert Eagle, a gun in general, drugs, alchohol, a car, a dress, a suit, jewlery, a gang.**

* * *

**Day 10: Hooligan**

"Boss?"

Hiccup turned around to look at her, a solemn expression on his face. "Astrid, you know better than to call me that."

Astrid shrugged. "Protocol is in effect right now." Her eyes pointedly looked to the man Snotlout was dragging out of the trunk.

Hiccup made a sound of understanding and sighed, beginning to take off his suit jacket. He handed it to Astrid, who took it and gave it to Ruffnut. Astrid watched as he rolled his dress shirt's sleeves up to his elbows, examining him. She could tell how much this was weighing on his mind already.

She remembered when he was just a kid, innocent and carefree, seeing the world as a magnificent place, valuing every life as equal to the other. She remembered tackling him from behind, she remembered playing Grand Theft Auto III with him, she remembered him laughing with every carefree punch she aimed at his shoulders.

Astrid had always loved Hiccup. But it wasn't her place to do so. So she'd watched him, protected him as a bodyguard should, earned her way all the way to the top of the ladder to stay side by side with him. And they'd been happy; him, gallivanting around without a care in the world, and she, always chasing him and cleaning up after his messes.

Astrid pulled out a handgun from her back pocket. Hiccup was quietly asking for it, his left hand held out to her, eyes blankly watching as Snotlout deposited the thief in front of him. Fishlegs stepped forward to yank the tape off the man's mouth. Astrid checked the gun–a Desert Eagle, .50, polished and glorious like it was made for the head mobster this side of town. She handed it over to Hiccup, watching as he routinely took it apart and put it back together again, double-checking the barrel even though she herself had already done so.

Why did things have to change? Hiccup had been so happy until–

Her eyes saddened, staring at her Chief.

The one day–the one _fucking _day she decides to go and do something girly for once, something happens. Of course it does. They're in the mob with almost the whole eastern police force of the country after them. She remembered that she'd been shopping for some lingerie when she received the call. It was simple, as it should've been. 'Attack on Heir. Report immediately.'

She'd returned as fast as she could, and was relieved to find Hiccup safe and sound, even if he was missing a leg. It was horrible, seeing him lying in that hospital bed. He wouldn't wake up, but he was alive. Small, skinny, frail; bleeding and beaten and broken and missing a limb, but alive. That's what mattered, right?

Hiccup finished checking the gun and waved away the other men, walking forward to stand in front of the thief. The man was positively blubbering, tied up and on his knees, sobbing how sorry he was for having insulted the Hooligan Tribe, that he'd pay them back tenfold, that he hadn't known that he was sorry, that it was for his little sister, they needed the cash–

Astrid rolled her eyes. Same sob story every damn time. What truly sucked was how young he was–the poor kid looked to be only 16 or so. Must've been some real good drugs to get him hooked so hard that he'd steal from them for it.

Hiccup bent down to his level, taking care not to dirty his dress pants. They'd have to go back to the party after this, and he had to look representable. He stretched his hand out and gently cupped the kid's cheek, asking him what his name was.

"J-Jamie Bennett", he choked. "Jamie Bennett. Please, please don't do this, I swear, it was a mistake, it was for my sister–"

"Which one was it, Jamie Bennett?" Hiccup murmured. "A mistake? Or purposely done for your sister?"

The boy choked and stopped talking, not knowing what to say. Astrid could relate; Hiccup had the ability to throw you for a loop with only a few words.

She remembered when he first woke up out of his coma, and the first thing out of his mouth was 'Jack.' Everyone had been confused, but just wrote it out off as coma talk.

But as he recovered, he kept asking them about Jack. Every visit it was the same thing–'where was Jack?' How the hell should they know? All they knew was that Hiccup had been his usual irresponsible self and had snuck out to city again without protection, and then next thing they knew there was an explosion and he was in the hospital without a leg.

Once he could talk for more than five seconds, he'd explained, and that's when everything fell into place. He confessed to having snuck out plenty of times before–everyone knew that–to see a friend he'd made called Jack–now this, no one had known about. They'd met at an ice rink and instantly hit it off. It was clear by the way Hiccup spoke of him that they'd been more than 'just friends'. It made Astrid want to snap someone's neck just thinking about it.

She clenched her fists around the fabric of her dress, the smooth material bunching up around her fingers. She decided to cross her arms instead–this dress was way too expensive to mess up–and cleared her throat. Hiccup looked back to her, and she tapped a finger to the inside of her wrist. They were kind of on a tight schedule, here. He nodded and stood back up, getting prepared to deliver justice.

The Bennett guy gasped and started babbling a mile a minute. Hiccup sighed but tried to get on with it.

"I am Horrendous, chief of the Hooligan Tribe–"

"No! No please, you don't have to do this, please don't, no–"

"–and my subordinates have caught you committing a crime on my territory. You broke into the house of a dear friend of the Viking family–"

"It was an accident, I swear! I didn't know, please, please don't do this, it was for my sister–"

"–and stole their precious family jewels for a few hundred bucks that wasn't even worth their value. Because of the insult and disrespect you have–"

"NO!"

He was screaming now. That wasn't good.

For some reason Astrid couldn't quite figure out, it reminded her of how Hiccup had been in the hospital again. They'd done their research, found out that this Jack guy was connected to the Guardians, a military force so anti-mob that it was like fire against ice. By then, they'd already tracked and dealt with the man who'd set fire to the arcade they'd been hanging out in; some wack-job called Bernard Derrickson who liked to call himself the Red Death. They believed he'd been working under the Nightmare King's commands, but it was unproven, and the Hooligans weren't willing to go to war with a gang of that much power at the time. For Hiccup's sake, Stoick had ordered an advanced search in the building.

They hadn't even found Jack's body.

When they told Hiccup, he'd screamed. Kind of like how this guy was doing now. Filled with desperation and sorrow and misfortune. It was a horrible sound to hear.

Hiccup's eyes flashed with irritation and he suddenly shot forward, delivering a swift kick to the kid's jaw. The guy flew backward and slammed his head against the concrete. He coughed, wheezing, rolling onto his back as Hiccup huffed, stepping backwards and adjusting his tie.

"As I was saying. Because of the insult and disrespect you have shown to my Tribe, I hereby have the right to sentence you to death."

Bennett rolled forward, begging between short breaths.

Hiccup clicked the safety off and pointed the barrel of the gun right at the man's head. His eyes softened, as they always did when he was about to take a life, and he whispered the final words.

"May the Valkyries pass rightful judgment upon your soul."

He pulled the trigger.

The gun fired.

A bang rang loud and clear.

Jamie Bennett fell backward, over his knees, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, blood pooling onto the concrete from the hole in his forehead.

Hiccup sighed unhappily and gave Astrid the gun. She passed it to Ruffnut, who exchanged it for the suit jacket. Astrid stepped forward and helped Hiccup into the jacket, adjusting his sleeves for him, buttoning it up. She stayed there a moment, fidgeting with his tie, and murmured the usual. "Well done, Hiccup."

He looked her in the eyes and with a solemn face spoke the usual response. "Taking a life is never something to be praised for, Astrid."

She nodded, then took her place on his right side. Fishlegs moved to their chosen vehicle and started the car. Snotlout, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut would dispose of the body. Astrid held the door open as Hiccup entered the back seat and settled himself in. She moved to the passenger side, climbed in, and gave Fishlegs a silent prompt to begin driving.

Her eyes flitted up to the rearview mirror, watching as her Chief stared out the tinted window. She examined his face, for a sign, for anything. It stayed as blank as it had been ever since Stoick's death, ever since Jack's death. It gave her a sense of failure just looking at it.

Astrid was not a woman that lost. She almost always won, and when she didn't, she kept fighting until she earned the winner's prize. She hated losing with all her heart, and could only recall one battle she'd ever lost.

The battle for Hiccup's love.

The war had begun and ended right underneath her nose, and she'd never noticed it.

Hiccup's love had never been hers to win.


	11. Chapter 11: Day 11: Illness

**So this is a realy weird Naruto AU I came up with. You don't need to know Naruto to understand this. All you have to know is that chakra is basically their blood, sort of, the Byakugan is sort of like x-ray vision, in a sense, and** **Kōri no Akuma apprently means Ice Demon in Japanese according to Google Translate. On top of that, the Leaf village is a village... Yep! That's about it!**

**And before I continue on, I'm currently very, veeery sick, along with having to attend a funeral and mourning because a family memebr just died. I'm going to try and keep up this daily-writing/daily-publishing thing, but if I can't put anything up for a few days, well... Now you guys know why. Sorry fellahs :( I was enjoying this as much as (I hope) you all were, but I can't disrespect the family, especially someone who is dead, by not paying respects to them. It's kind of messed up to be typing away on a phone during a funeral, yeah? Yeah. So, the maximum amount of time I could be gone is five days, but I'm going to try uber-duper hard and shorten it as much as possible. Who knows, I might even publish something tomorrow. Here's to hoping! (cheers)**

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**Rated T to be safe, it also contains fighting in it, but I do not support violence. Or kicking people through trees, no matter how cool it looks on the teley.**

**Warning: Violence, near-death situations, confusing logic, possesion, demons are evil dahur, uh... I think that's about it.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am asking for monetarial incentive for writing this piece. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Dragons: Riders of Berk, Rise of the Guardians, Naruto, Narutoverse, chains, a demon, the Japanese language, a kunai, a kekkei genkai, the Byuakugan, chakra-er, visible chakra, because there are some beliefs that everyone has chakra and stuff(s)?, a fur vest.**

* * *

**Day 11: Illness**

Hiccup knocked on the door to his bedroom, forcing his hands to stop shaking. It took a few moments, but eventually the door opened, and Heather quietly shut it behind her. He took a few steps back, looking at the convicted Hyuga for a verdict. She blew a shaky breath and nervously started playing with her hair.

"Okay, um.. Sit down."

Uh oh. Already he knew this was going to be bad. He stiffly walked to the staircase and sat on the first step. Heather settled herself next to him, trembling ever so slightly and hugging herself. Because he was a gentlemen before anything else–even if he was freaking out for Jackson, even if he wanted to hunt that Kōri no Akuma down and burn it with his own two hands–he took off his fur vest and handed it to her. She gave him a grateful smile, buying some more silence by slipping it on.

And then she opened her mouth to tell him about how his beloved was faring.

"Hiccup… I don't know what's wrong with him. No one does. Not Gothi, not even Old Wrinkly… We can't figure it out. His fever is gone, now, but… Something is still wrong. He won't wake up, at all. His temperature still isn't regulated, and we don't think it's because of his kekkei genkai anymore. Since it's…" She wet her lips nervously. "Since the Akuma is gone now, we don't even know if he will retain the Chakra Nature he was using before. But, what's worst of all… His chakra isn't moving."

What?

Heather seemed to want to shrink in on herself, using the vest as a faux-shield for protection. "I used my Byakugan and everything. It's completely at a standstill–we don't know why. Usually, a person's chakra stops moving when they're...When they…"

No no, please don't say it, please–

"But Jack isn't dead!"

Thank the gods!

"He's just...not alive, either."

Hiccup's breath stuttered and he leaned his elbows on his knees, jaw working in frustration and fists holding each other to stop from shaking. It was silent for a while, until he managed to choke out, "What kind of treatment will he be receiving?"

Heather sighed, woefully looking back to his bedroom door. "We'll be giving him the usual. Herbs, tea, food, some salve for his wounds…" She gave Hiccup a look that spoke volumes. "Berk isn't equipped to take care of the wounded, Hiccup. You should've taken him back to the Leaf for treatment."

His reply was harsh in tone. "They would've killed him there, Heather. At least here he has a fighting chance." He stood up, walking back to his bedroom and opening the door. "Thank you for your help, Heather. Go back to doing what you need to do."

With that, he walked inside, settling himself next to his wooden bed. Laying on the rough platform was his Jackson, as pale as a ghost, hair slowly turning white for reasons still unexplainable. Hiccup swallowed at the sight; his Jackson looked so young and innocent, frail and fragile, lying in unconsciousness at his bed. At any other time, it might have brought Hiccup comfort to have his love so close. Now? He only wished for Jackson to live.

Toothless flew in through the window, tiny and green and more like a Terrible Terror in his calmed state. He crooned, hopping onto Hiccup's shoulder and giving him an affectionate nudge.

"_How is he?"_ the dragon asked in Dragonese.

"_Not good._" was all Hiccup could growl out.

Toothless huffed a little burst of flames before flapping his way to Jackson. He settled on the pillow, circling it several times before curling up, purring. Hiccup sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, watching his unresponsive lover.

How did things end up like this? Things had been so great until…

* * *

_**"Jack!" **__Hiccup lurched forward against his ice restraints, kicking wildly in panic._

_Jackson screamed, and the beast erupted from his body, roaring into the night._

_The demon stretched its wings, rearing upwards and snorting. With a single stomp, the ice on the lake cracked, and Jackson's limp body began to sink under its own weight. Kōri no Akuma laughed at its previous vessel, and with a single swipe of its tail, sent the body flying and into the freezing waters of the lake._

_**"NO!"** Hiccup shrieked and opened his mouth, a spray of flames erupting from it. He tried to control his chakra, tried to control his fire and aim it at the chains, but everything was happening way to fast and Jackson needed him–_

_The demon morphed into something remarkably human. It looked at the cracked hole in the lake, and ice began to creep over it, sealing it up. It gave Hiccup a wicked grin._

_Hiccup wordlessly screamed, crawling towards the beast and his love._

_The demon walked forward to him and with a single kick sent him flying back and into a tree. The chains kept Hiccup tethered to the ground, so he bounced right off and back to his place of origin. Pain devoured his body, but still he struggled on, turning back to try crawling over to Jackson again._

_The demon grunted in disgust and opened its wings again. Moonlight streamed downward from above, highlighting the evil creation of ice, causing it to sparkle and shine like something holy. Hiccup gagged on his own blood and coughed, struggling to his knees._

_The demon flapped its wings once and disappeared in a flurry of snow._

_The chains around Hiccup evaporated and the ninja shot forward, grabbing a kunai and stabbing the ice._

_**"JACKSON!"**_

* * *

Hiccup shivered at the memory and snuck a hand out to grasp Jackson's. It was cold, and didn't so much as twitch at his touch, but if he really concentrated he could feel a faint pulse. Toothless sensed his inner turmoil, and chose to instead move and curl up in his lap instead of on the pillow. Hiccup pet his dragon gently, stoically staring at the wall. He would wait here, right here, until Jackson woke up.


	12. Chapter 12: Day 12: Jokes

**I. AM. SORRY.**

**I know I said I would be back in five days. Fellahs, Life hit me hard. I didn't get better, I got worse. The mourning period was difficult. Grandmother fell and sprained her ankle. My internet left.**

**And those are just a few of the things that happened.**

**But, main point is: I'm back. I probably will NOT be able to continue the 'prompt a day' thing I had going on before. My internet is still very spotty, deciding to come back at the most random moments and disappearing entirely when I really need it. I'm only barely able to send this out. Just today, before when I tried to publish this, it completely poofed.**

**I'll do my best to get as much material out there as I possibly can. I can't promise anything more except for this: I WILL finish the March Madness prompts, and they WILL be uploaded onto this 'story'. No matter what happens or how long it takes, this I know for sure.**

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**Rated: T**

**WARNING: Suggestive language, suggestive actions. Second person point of view done wrong. Jokes done wrong. Ridiculous humor (some of you called me out on too much sad-stuff in my stories, and I decided that you were very much right. I myself was getting tired of writing frowns. So here ya go! Some hilarious nonsense to hopefully brighten up your day!) Sarcasm, penis jokes, sexual jokes, and teenagers being dumb.  
**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, intend to make a profit from this. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own Rise of the Guardians, How To Train Your Dragon, Mario Kart, Donkey kong, Luigi, Mario, Yoshi, Browser, Antarctica, knock knock jokes, a banana peel, mushrooms, a stretchable definition for the word 'flirtatious', or x-ray vision.  
**

**Don't listen to sexual jokes and drive in Mario Kart, kids.**

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**Day 12: Jokes**

You're about to go hardcore on Mario Kart when out of the blue, he appears. He sits next to you with a silly little smile, and you spare him a quick glance before going back to your game. There you are as Yoshi, gaining speed against an online Donkey Kong, just managing to cut a corner off Rainbow Road, when he taps your shoulder.

" 'Sup, Hiccup?"

"Hey, Jack. Do you mind if I try a few jokes on you?"

"Not really. As long as I can keep–YEAH! Haha, in your FACE, Kong!–but uh, if I can keep playing Mario Kart, then yeah, go ahead."

"Alright! Now let me just...think of...something…"

You shrug, and focus on using your faux-telekinetic abilities to get the game to give you a rocket for a super ability. It decides to negate your will, and instead gives you a puny little banana peel. You click your tongue in annoyance, manage to navigate around in front of Luigi, and drop the peel right in front of his cart. You chuckle darkly as he skids around the road. Serves him right, the little twerp, you still remember the pain of losing first place when he used that blue shell–

"Knock knock."

Oh wow, you almost forgot Hiccup was there. "Who's there?"

"Pennies."

You hiss in anticipation as Browser manages to knock you close to the edge, but you just barely manage to use your last mushroom and get the hell out of there before he can push you off. Breathing in relief, you answer, "Pennies who?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Hiccup grin. "Can I see your pennies?"

Yoshi swerves and falls off Rainbow Road before entering the tunnel. The controller falls out of your hands, but all you can do is stare at him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. He flushes suddenly and looks away, grumbling under his breath. "Damn it, it wasn't supposed to be like that, it was supposed to be funnier." He suddenly jumps up and runs out of the room. "Wait a minute, I'm going to search up a better joke, hold on!"

You stare after him, barely blinking, before slowly picking up your controller and signing out of the game. What in all of Antarctica just happ–

"Okay okay, I'm back, and I've got a good one!"

Oh no. You look back to him, a little bit afraid, because really that was one of the worst jokes you've ever heard in your entire life; but you're also a little amused to, because it really is funny to see him trying so hard. "Uh, okay. Shoot."

He looks positively giddy. "Alright. Check this out." He clears his throat. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Do you want two CD's?"

You give him a suspicious look, but go along with it anyway. "Um… Do you want two CD's who?"

He smirks victoriously. "Do you want two CD's nuts?"

You slap your forehead and groan. "Oh god no…"

He's giggling like a mad man, almost falling over, and you struggle to keep a straight face. "Hiccup, holy–Stop. No. Just stop."

He gasps in mock-horror. "No! No wait, I've got a better one, come on."

"NO! Jeez, that was… That was terrible–"

"Oh come on, please? Just one more?"

You look up to the ceiling, pretending you have x-ray vision and can see all the way past the roof and into the Heavens, where you ask for some godly guidance. You sigh and give Hiccup a timid smile. "Alright, fine. Hit me with your best shot."

His grin is nearing astronomical proportions. "Knock, knock."

You groan and cover your face with your hands. "Not another knock knock joke, please."

He laughs and nudges you playfully. "Knock, knock!"

Sigh… why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of torture, you think to yourself. "Who's there?"

"Anita."

You spring up and point a finger right at his big, poke-able nose. "I've heard that one way too many times before!"

He puts his hands up in an innocent facade, laughing and scooting backwards. "Alright, alright! Okay fine, I'll skip it then."

You collapse onto the floor with a moan of annoyance. "You have MORE?!"

"Only one more, really. I couldn't remember any others."

You turn your head to give him a blank stare. "Fine. But make sure it's a good one."

He grins, pretends to seriously attempt to get into character, and then gives you a look that could maybe be called flirtatious. You know, if you really stretched the definition of flirtatious to cover maybe over 100,000 miles or so. Maybe. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

He waggles his eyebrows and tries to get his husky voice on. "Who do you want it to be?"

You can't help it. Everything is just so damn ridiculous. You're pretty sure you died that day–twice!–just from laughing.


	13. Chapter 13: Day 13: Keepsake

**the boy katniss, you deserve better.**

**I am very much disappointed in this response...**

**I am so, so sorry. I have no idea what the fu–flappy bird happened to this. I've been agonizing over it for weeks now (since the 4th of April, really). Google wasn't helpful: after what feels like a billion searches, all I got were Twilight-esque relationship situations, and half of them didn't look romantic and the others were just straight-out creepy. I decided to just type whatever came to mind, and that's exactly what I did. Then I tried flipping it around, adding things to it, deleting and rephrasing, taking most of the nonsense out, and just generally trying to make it as romantic as I possibly could.**

**The problem: I don't know what romance is (basically, at least I'm seeing that's the case now.)**

**The solution I came up with: Just write and post whatever comes up.**

**I owe you readers something romantic. the boy katniss specifically requested it, and I promised them. Yet I STILL can't write it! I have no idea if I'm in the wrong, if my fingers refuse to type it, or if the universe is just deciding to be a bully. All I know, is THIS THING right below there is the best I could come up with, and I know it SUCKS, but I literally can't do anything else for it because I am just so fed up with my romance-less useless-ity (those are words now because screws it I'm tired and frustrated)**

**I'm sorry :( I hope something of value came out of this.**

**(Rereading it makes me want to curl up into a little ball and disappear ohmygosh it's so bad the amount of plot holes the amount of inconsistency the amount of just badness just urgh I'm so sorry fellahs, I'm so so so sorry)**

* * *

**Let it be known that I don't mean to insult anyone. If any of this offends you, I apologize, that really wasn't my intention. I'm not attempting to make light of abuse, either. I'm trying my best to keep Hiccup in the character I believe he would play in an AU like this.**

**Rating: T borderline M.**

**Warning: ****alcohol, abuse, parental abuse, abuse of alcohol, angst, generally not-good-feelings, generally too-good-feelings, OutOfCharacterNESS, carnivals gone wrong, Haunted Houses gone wrong, mentions of past violence, pocketknives, character death, loss of a parent, foster care, Oompa Loompas, evil elves, obsession, obsession over an object, need for therapy, COFFEE. I think that about covers it?**

**OH YEAH UH CURSING. LOTS OF CURSING. Bad words are a thing teenagers apparently use a lot, so there will be f-bombing and yakdung-ing galore. (Okay it really isn't a lot but there is a substantial amount for a warning.)**

**Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form, intend to make a profit out of this writing. I do not own How to Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Skype, uh... To hell with it. You know what I mean. All I own is my brain. (maybe)  
**

* * *

**Day 13: Keepsake-Dedicated to the boy katniss**

Hiccup remembers the night his mother gave him Toothless. The doll was brand new, having just been sewn to completion by her. It was fluffy, perfectly stuffed with just the right amount of cotton; clean and smelling like his mother's favorite perfume. It was a friendly dragon, designed like a Night Fury–his favorite breed. Its smile was large and happy, but his mother hadn't put any teeth on it; she told him she didn't have any white thread. So he'd named it Toothless.

He remembered laughing like it was Snoggletog–well, it really had been Snoggletog, anyways–and cuddling it fiercely to his chest. First it was simply because his mother had given him a present, and what child out there wouldn't cuddle a toy that your mother made especially for you? Over time, as Toothless ferociously guarded him against schoolyard bullies and thunderstorms alike, and as the dragon took him on adventures all throughout the world, Hiccup grew to love him.

When his mother died, Hiccup was forced to rely solely on Toothless. Toothless kept him safe from the nightmares at night, Toothless took him out flying when he couldn't relax, Toothless cuddled up close and kept him warm when he wouldn't stop crying.

Toothless was Hiccup's friend, his own little personal keepsake of his mother, and now he'd gone and lost him.

Hiccup frantically searched all throughout the house. He threw everything out from his closet and then threw it all back in when he didn't find anything there. He undressed his bed down to the mattress and left the sheets in a disheveled heap on the pillows. He searched underneath his desk, bed, piano, and drawers. He rummaged through his drawers and even moved the damn thing to check behind it.

Nothing.

By now, Hiccup was panicking. He could barely remember his mother; Toothless had been the only connection he had left with her. Some nights, when he was nursing wounds on both his body and soul, he imagined he could still smell her perfume clinging to the little stuffed dragon.

He raced out into the hallway and began the process of taking the house apart. It took hours, but as nightfall began on that fateful Saturday night, Hiccup still hadn't found Toothless. He stumbled into the messy living room, books and pictures and clothing all askew, and fell onto a couch cushion. He whimpered, clutching his hair and tugging, trying to thinkthinkthink where was the last place he put it–

The door slammed open and in walked his father. The huge man gaped at the mess, shutting the door behind him, before turning to glare at his son. "Hiccup! Th' hell happened 'ere?"

"Dad!" The boy gasped and surged forward, running up to his father and tugging on his coat sleeve. "Dad, I-I can't–" Hiccup swallowed, forcing himself to calm down enough to speak clearly. "Dad, I can't find Toothless!"

Stoick pushed the boy away from him. "What?"

Hiccup stumbled backwards and turned around, looking in panic at the house. "The doll that Mommy gave me! It's–It's not here and I don't know why, I put it in the washing machine and now–"

"Oh, tha'." Stoick grumbled to himself and kicked some of the mess away, walking forward and setting a few black plastic bags onto the coffee table. Hiccup knew what was in them, but chose to ignore it in favor of asking where Toothless was. "You know where it is? Tell me, tell me please!"

Stoick gave his son a look bordering on disgust. "I threw it ou'."

Hiccup's soul dropped to the floor, just like his mouth. "What?!"

His father only grunted, picking up a cushion and tossing it onto the couch for him to sit. "You 'eard me. I threw it ou'. Th' damned thing was broken anyways." He stuck a hand into the bag and searched for something, pulling out alcohol left and right.

Hiccup couldn't speak for a moment, stuttering and stumbling over his words, his body jerking back and forth between his bedroom and his father. Finally, he settled on staring at his mountain of a father, and whispered "Why? T-That...That was the only thing I had left of her..."

"Because, Hiccup!" His father boomed, suddenly shouting for some random reason Hiccup didn't know. "Because you're fifteen and too damn old for that kind of bullshit! She's been gone for five years, Hiccup! Get over it!"

Hiccup could feel his whole body go ice-cold, and then overheat with the flames of four years of frustration. For the first time in his memory, he exploded.

He stalked forward, breathing heavily, screaming, "Oh, and you're one to talk! You haven't been sober for four years! You're worse then I am, at least I try to remember her in good faith! All you do is drink and drool on the couch like an idiot with your depression! You're an irresponsible husband and a horrible father, and I hope you fucking DIE from intoxication, you son of a bitch!"

Hiccup snatched his jacket off the wall and rushed for the door. His father was already roaring like the beast he truly was, jumping forward to catch him. "You ungrateful BASTARD, get over here! I'll teach you to talk to your father like that–"

"GO FUCK YOURSELF"

The door slammed shut. Stoick threw it open and raced after his son.

"HICCUP! Get back here and clean this shit up!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Hiccup turned the corner, and Stoick stopped running after him, panting with his hands on his knees.

"HICCUUUUUP!"

* * *

Hiccup collapsed onto the park bench, breathing harshly. He stared up at the dark sky, trying to calm down and failing.

No, things were okay. Things were going to be fine. Just because he couldn't find Toothless didn't mean it was the end of the world. He'd searched their trash and didn't find it; he'd searched their neighborhood streets and didn't find it; the last place he could think of would be the junkyard.

And if it wasn't there…

Hiccup gasped and curled up on the bench, holding his body together only with strength of will and his locked wrists around his knees.

And then what had happened at home…. Odin.

* * *

A house down the street turned its front porch light on. A figure stepped out, tossed a garbage bag into a trashcan, and froze. Hiccup's eyes roved carelessly over them, ignoring their existence, staring up into the dark sky without giving a fuck.

A few minutes later, and the light went off.

Hiccup stayed there until morning

The boy shivered, huddling in on himself, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. The night had been cold, but the morning was somehow even colder. He assumed it would be around 5 'o clock by now. That wasn't too bad. Maybe he could go home now–

NO

Okay then. Not going home. Did he have any money on him for food? A phone? Shouldn't he have checked this first? He curled his hand into a fist a few times to get feeling in his fingers before reaching into his pockets. He found his cellphone, but it was dead. He found his house keys, but he refused to think about his house right now. He found three dollars and seventy five cents. He found a packet of old spearmint gum–that went straight into his mouth. He found a crumpled piece of paper with '2/29' on it and deemed it useless in his current situation.

Now what? The wind blew, and it went straight through Hiccup. His teeth chattered and he squished his body into his jacket as much as he could. Gods it was cold. Gods he was hungry, and tired, and emotionally drained and he just wanted to sleep but sleeping in the park was dangerous. Already, he'd seen this dirty weird guy pass by him twice, complete with stares and a shopping cart that squeaked obnoxiously against the concrete road.

Definitely not a good idea to sleep.

The wind blew again and he groaned. The gods hate him. First, they shape him into a useless mistake and give him to two of the most glorious people on the planet. Then, they take the life of one of the most glorious people on the planet, and make sure she'd suffered through her death, and had her leave behind millions of people who loved her. After, they confuse his father and turn him into a drunken monster, twisting his good heart and soul into something evil and unrecognizable even to someone such as the Useless Mistake. And, as if that wasn't enough, they take the only keepsake he had left of his precious mother and toss it into the garbage, leaving him and his father to hash out the details and eventually make him run away to fuck knows where and freeze/starve to his death in a single night.

Thanks, Loki. I'm really feeling the love right now.

The wind suddenly roared, as if the god had heard him and was expressing his anger. Hiccup shivered and gasped, beginning to rock back and forth on the tiny park bench to try and unfreeze his blood. "Find a happy place", he muttered. "Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place–"

"You okay, kid?"

Hiccup screamed, jumped over the bench, grabbed a fallen branch and hopped into the bushes.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!"

Hiccup started babbling nonsense because oh my gods this is how I die an old homeless creep mugs me and slits my throat oh dear gods–"Don't harm me! I'm an innocent kid who has a lot of misfortune and believe me I've got literally nothing on me but some gum you want gum? Here take it!" He threw the last stick of gum out of the bushes and felt an irrational moment of sorrow for his gum. "Go and take the gum and leave me alone please I'm not worth it I've got nothing of value I'm sorry I won't tell the cops anything just PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

He huddled behind the greenery and branches, watching the bench frightfully for whoever was planning on taking his young, short life away from him, gripping the branch like it was a lifeline.

"Kid! Hey, hey, calm down okay, I'm not here to hurt you, I just want to talk, promise!"

Yeah, right! Like Hiccup was going to fall for that! The teen ignored how scratchy and itchy and uncomfortable it was hiding inside a bush and stayed as quiet as he possibly could. After a while, a youth stepped into view, worriedly looking at the bush behind the bench. "Kid?"

Hiccup's eyes widened. What the hell? How was THIS young handsome son of a gun the one behind that creepy, deep voice? He shuffled a little forward, but decided against going out of the bush. As of right now, the other person was still unknown, and this bush was his only protection.

The guy raised his hands and kept them in the air, smiling a little. "Can you come out, now?"

Hiccup poked his branch out of the bush, and pushed the rest of the foliage out of the way. He crawled forward, then stood up, giving the other teen a suspicious glance. "What do you want with me?"

The teen backed up now that Hiccup was in full view, dropping his hands and putting them in his pocket. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Hiccup snorted and walked forward, hoping back over the bench–admittedly with a lot less grace–and sitting back down on it. "Yeah well, good job at being a Great Samaritan. You can leave now."

The other boy frowned. "I just want to help."

Hiccup only looked at him in silence.

The boy sighed and moved to sit next to him on the bench. Hiccup groaned and picked up his legs, folding them up against his chest and holding them. "Please leave. Now."

The boy only murmured, "It's a park. Free public area." before calmly staring at the morning sky.

Hiccup chose to ignore him. He had more important things to think about. For example, he'd technically run away from home, so what was he going to do now? He couldn't go back home, because...well, he couldn't. He couldn't go to Gobber, because Gobber was his Dad's best friend and… Everything concerning Stoick as of right now was just this big mess of smudges. He didn't want to think about him and anything to do with him. So, next course of action would be...Uh… Astrid?

NO

Wow, okay, no Astrid. Fishlegs was kind of not in America, and Snotlout–Hiccup made a sound of disgust. Yeah, no, definitely not Snotlout. Hiccup still wondered if they had been lied to all their life, and really were just neighbors instead of cousins. Snotlout sure as hell didn't act like family.

(Hiccup was going to ignore the fact that his father didn't act like family, either.)

"You okay? Or...are you going to throw up or something?"

The teen from before was apparently still sitting next to him, now giving him a troubled look. Hiccup's eye twitched, and a sudden surge of annoyance pushed him to his feet and twisted his face in a snarl.

"Look, man, I don't know what's your problem, but you need to leave me alone! In all of Hel have I never met someone as annoying as you! Just–Go! My business is none of your concern, okay? Leave!"

The guy looked at him a moment, before shrugging and standing up. "Like I said, I was only trying to help. Can't hate me for trying." With that, he walked away.

Hiccup suddenly felt guilty. What the hell was he thinking? What if this guy had really only been trying to help? This world was such a nasty, horrible place, and here he was stomping out on the only good thing that had happened to him this week–not to mention, he'd sounded a lot like his father just then, lashing out for no apparent reason other than the fact that he could.

"Hey! W-Wait, I–" Hiccup sighed, and waved the guy back to him, voice cracking a little since all he'd done with it was sob the whole night before. The guy looked a little bit amused, but Hiccup couldn't tell. He looked at his boots and sighed. "I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't have been so…"

"Doushe-y?"

Hiccup looked up in confusion to the other man, who just smiled and continued speaking. "Asshole-y? Big fat jerk-y? Ungrateful? Nasty?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but chuckle at that, scratching his cheek nervously. "Yeah. You could say that. I just… I had a bad night, is all, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that."

The guy shrugged and just kept on smiling. "No problem, man. I think I get how you feel. Though next time, try to have a little more control over yourself, okay?"

Hiccup nodded, before sitting back down on the bench, leg bouncing anxiously. There was a silence in which Hiccup thought the other boy walked away, but instead he suddenly popped in front of his face again with another smile. "Wanna go get a mochalatte at Starbucks?"

Hiccup knew better then to associate with random strangers, but as of right now, he sort of was homeless and broke and in need of breakfast. Besides, how bad would it be if he just went for a latte?

* * *

Jack snorted so badly that Hiccup thought he might have gotten some coffee in his nose. Hiccup snickered and then they both started laughing, Hiccup tempted to slap the table and Jack tempted to stomp his foot. Eventually they were able to breathe normally, even though they still giggled every so often.

"I can't believe he did that." Jack snickered again and took a sip of his coffee.

Hiccup finished crunching an ice cube and grinned. "Neither could the rest of the class, but then again, it's Tuffnut. The guy's insane."

They both chuckled at that, before quieting down for a while, finishing up whatever was left of their drinks. Jack eye's met Hiccup's for a moment before quickly looking out the window, and Hiccup had a sinking feeling that this lighthearted mood was about to be ruined. Before that happened, and questions that he really didn't want to answer started being asked, he decided to make the first call.

He gave Jack a timid smile, hoping it conveyed the gratefulness he felt. "Thank you, Jack. I… really needed this. I appreciate it."

The older teen smiled brilliantly. "No problem. Anything for a fellow brother in need." Hiccup rolled his eyes at that, and Jack laughed. It got quiet again, and Hiccup could feel the incoming tension. It was like a damned four-wheel storage truck heading right at him.

Jack cleared his throat and nervously tapped his coffee cup, something that Hiccup thought might not happen often. Jack didn't look to be the type that got nervous easily. "So… Care to explain why you were out there all night?"

Step 1 is to always deflect the questions.

"How'd you know I was out there all night?"

Darn it Hiccup that was quite clearly NOT a deflection–!

Jack shrugged. "I was taking the trash out late last night, and thought I saw someone in the park. I shrugged it off as a shadow, but now… Well, yeah."

Hiccup snorted into his empty cup, swishing the ice cube remains around. "Wow man, you really need to get glasses if you think a shadow is a person. Or vice versa. Either way, that's some really bad eyesight you've got there." He saw that Jack was just looking at him, so he tried to taunt him a little more. Changing the subject was kind of a priority. "What? Too shy to admit to needing glasses? Or too afraid to look like a nerd?"

Jack only smiled a little, shrugging again, before downing the last dregs of coffee. He set the cup down and started tracing the rim with his thumb. "Hiccup… really. What's going on?"

Uh...what's Step 2 if Step 1 or whatever doesn't work? Nothing? Okay well, time to play dumb.

Hiccup shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jack sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Come on, man. You're a good guy, I don't want to have to call the authorities to track you down–"

Hiccup shot him a nasty glare, nastier than he ever thought he could manage. "So they can what? Shove me into foster care?"

"If that's what is necessary, then yes."

Hiccup sneered. "Oh and wouldn't that be just wonderful. Getting tossed from town to town, from stranger to stranger, only finding danger–"

"And a family, too."

Hiccup couldn't help but laugh at that. It was actually funny, how unrealistic this guy's personal view on the world was. Hiccup quieted down to just a few chortles, giving Jack a mocking grin before murmuring into his empty cup, "The fuck do you know…"

Okay, woah. Hel be damned! When did he get such a horrible attitude? Last he checked, he hadn't felt this cynical in months–

Oh, right. That's because everything this last year has been all about Toothless.

Jack only gave him a sad look and a soft whisper. "That's what it gave me."

Hiccup's eyes went wide, and for a moment all he could do was just stare. So, that's why...all of this… Huh. That's an interesting piece of information. He swallowed and gave a jerky nod. "Well, good for you. You got lucky."

"You could, too."

Hiccup felt his anger rising again, and had to question once more why he was suddenly so negative about everything. "That's not how things work, Jack. That's not how life works."

"But it does, sometimes. For all you know, there could be a lovely couple out there, waiting with open arms and loving hearts for someone to care for, someone just like you to complete their perfect family–"

"I'm fifteen, Jack!" Hiccup noticed the few odd glances sent their way, and forced himself to lower his voice. "I don't know what age you were when you struck gold, so to speak, but no one gives a crap about anyone over the age of ten. Most likely, I'll get straddled with some depressive 45-year-old who was in a domestic violence relationship and now wants to relieve the sufferings of some poor baby girl and instead ends up with little useless me." Jack looked about to say something, so Hiccup dropped his cup onto the table and stood out of his seat. "Thanks for the coffee."

He paused outside the shop, giving his body a few precious moments to adjust to the cold and to think of where he would head next. It was probably late morning or early evening, now. He still had a good chunk of daylight to kill before he could even think about heading home.

He also probably shouldn't have paused, because next thing he knew Jack was grabbing at his wrist and turning him around. "Wait!" The older teen shoved a napkin into his pliant hands, Hiccup not able to react from how abrupt it all was.

"Uh–"

"It's my number. Call me if you need anything. Take care, Hiccup." Jack gave him a little smirk. "If that even is your real name."

Hiccup couldn't help but rise to the challenge. "It's not my fault you think a thug would actually dub themselves as 'Hiccup'."

"Can you blame me? Who really even uses that as a real name? How did the doctors even allow that?"

Hiccup could only shrug. The hell did he know about why his parents picked such a weird name? All he knew was that he fit it perfectly; a hiccup was always the runt of the litter, always the unexpected misfortune, always the mistake.

Jack moved back into Starbucks, pushing the door open and letting the cashier know that yes, he was paying and no, he hadn't made a run for it just to get free coffee. Hiccup reacted without thought. "Jack!"

Jack looked back at him.

Hiccup wet his lips nervously, shuffled on his feet, and then pushed the words right out of his throat with all the strength he could muster. "T-Thanks." It still came out weak, and the syllables stumbled over each other, but there was something so heartbreakingly sincere about it that he hoped conveyed to Jack just how grateful of this reprieve he truly was.

Jack only gave him a pleasant smile, a warm 'Your welcome' and a wave goodbye.

* * *

Hiccup entered his home that night only to find the entire house dark and silent. Timidly, he turned on the living room light. Stoick was out cold on the couch, snoring like a bear, a bottle on the floor where his hand was hanging off the armrest and a few more on the coffee table. Beyond that and the hideous stench of alcohol, things were relatively… normal. As if they hadn't had that big fight, as if Hiccup hadn't destroyed the house looking for–

Hiccup's bottom lip quivered, and he bit it to stop it from trembling. He flicked off the light and silently made his way upstairs. It's when he was in the bathroom, about to take a quick shower, when he received the text. He checked it out, and couldn't help a small smile.

'Heya Hiccup, it's Jack. Remember me? The Good Samaritan from this morning that scared you into a bush? I just realized that since we live so close we might as well walk to school together. Whaddya say? You up for an early-morning dosage of Jack Frost?'

Hiccup grinned and typed in a quick yes before taking that much appreciated (and needed) shower. Afterwards, he climbed into bed and managed to catch about four hours of sleep. Just enough to keep him going for tomorrow.

In the morning, Jack was waiting for him in the park, sitting on the bench with a backpack and a happy smile on. Hiccup felt his heart warm up a little, and he gave a smile in return.

* * *

The next few weeks were some of the best in Hiccup's entire life. He was out of the house almost all the time, so that automatically reduced the amount of interactions he had with his father. Jack was with him almost every second of the day, and when they weren't together, they were texting each other about the silliest things.

He learned that Jack has an obsession with winter and almost everything related to it. He learned that Jack has an extreme fear of water. He learned that Jack adores his baby sister, that Jack hates lollipops but loves popsicles, that Jack's favorite color is actually green and not blue, that Jack has this really girly singing voice, that Jack has a soft spot for penguins, that Jack is this and that Jack is that–

"Where have you been all my life?"

Oh shit. Hiccup winced. He probably shouldn't have said that aloud. Oh crap, did he just make things awkward and uncomfortable? He really hadn't wanted to do that–

Jack smiled, a mix of something soft and carefree in it that made Hiccup feel like he was almost floating. "Probably across the street and two doors down from your house."

They were still laughing together even as they entered their classrooms.

* * *

Jack called him up one random Sunday morning and invited him out. It was the third time in as many weeks that month, but Hiccup couldn't help but say a grateful yes and get himself ready. He'd met Jack around the beginning of February, and it was now the third week of April. Something about this month had been a little different, though. They were meeting up more often, talking together for hours on end. Jack was persistent in paying for everything whenever they would hang out, and he'd almost always go along with Hiccup's suggestions. Whenever Jack would pass him a drink, their fingertips would brush against each other; Jack would always swing an arm around him when they went to the movies; Jack would hug him for an amount of time that Hiccup thought was probably unacceptable if things were just a friendship-relationship. And the places they would go to were, well, borderline-romantic. There was something in the air whenever he saw Jack, some kind of unspoken… something between them.

Hiccup decided he liked it. He grabbed on a green, long-sleeved shirt that looked fairly acceptable for any kind of situation. Jack refused to tell him where they were going–again–so Hiccup was going to cover his bases and hope that his shirt was casual enough, but a little classy, too. Hopefully, it would at least be passable.

Downstairs, Stoick lay sleeping on the couch (again), a bottle still dangling from his limp hand (more were strewn around it). He snored and snorted like a hog, and the smell of alcohol made Hiccup gag (it wasn't the first time). Hiccup was tempted to grab some rice leftover from last night's take-out and shove it down his father's throat, just to see if he'd choke on it (and wake up, and realize that sleeping passed out with a hangover on the couch wasn't the proper way to raise a child.) But then he remembered the last time he'd tried to play a joke (it was just a harmless little squirt from a harmless little water gun), and decided he probably shouldn't even be thinking of disturbing his father (because it would only end in pain, anyways.)

Hiccup grabbed up his brown jacket and walked out the door, heading to the park. He never did get to tell Jack his address, and honestly, he planned on never giving it anyways. He didn't want Jack anywhere near any of… this. At the park, Jack was already waiting for him, drumming a soundless beat on his thighs and looking stunning as always in his blue jacket and khaki jeans.

Jack spotted him, jumped up, and smiled with a happy wave. Hiccup gave him a grin in return and then a standard greeting: "Welcome to Berk, Jokul Frosti." Jack quirked an eyebrow and threw an arm over Hiccup's neck, giving the younger teen a smirk.

"Someone's in a good mood. The more ridiculous the hello, the happier you seem to be."

Hiccup shrugged and leaned into his friend, trying to make it look casual. "What can I say? I got about six hours of sleep last night with little disturbance. I feel refreshed."

Jack smiled. "Great. So I can safely assume you'll be up and running with enough energy for whatever activities I have planned?"

Hiccup gave a smirk, something he'd only started trying to do after seeing Jack do it so many times. It was still fairly lopsided and weird, but Jack swore up and down that it was perfect. "Depends on what you're going to try and make me do."

Jack stepped forward, turned around, and started walking the trail backwards. Hiccup was by now used to this kind of thing, so he didn't even bother telling him to be careful. Jack would just wave it off anyways. Jack reached into his coat pocket and took out a train map, waving it around. "So! I, unfortunately, still don't have my own car, and Tooth needed to take hers to the shop due to the brakes or something–"

"Wait wait, Tooth? Who's Tooth?"

Jack paused, waiting for Hiccup to catch up before looping his arm around the other's neck again. "I never told you about my foster mom?" They were just crossing the street from the park to the little lonely bus stop that would take them straight to the train station. Hiccup gave Jack a doubtful look.

"You call your foster parent Tooth?"

Jack grinned. "Well, yeah. She's a dentist. It fits."

Hiccup made sure to convey true horror in his next facial expression, but it mustn't have worked well because Jack laughed loudly and stumbled his way to the bench in between chuckles. "For the record, you're terrible at giving nicknames."

Jack pouted obnoxiously and leaned his head against Hiccup's shoulder. "What, you don't think my nicknames are thug enough for ya, Hicclet?"

"I'm going to ignore that thug comment, because I know you'll probably never live it down no matter how many times I tell you it's my real name and that I'm not a thug"–Jack interrupted with a laugh of "You're totally a thug and your thug name is totally Hiccup!" Hiccup shushed him with a not-too-gentle hand over his mouth so he could continue speaking. "And so I'm just going to skip all that to ask the million dollar question: What in the entire realm of Midgard made you believe that I'd willingly let you nickname me 'Hicclet'?

Jack's grin was created by Loki himself. Hiccup would even swear to it. "Ooh, it's already done Hicclet. It's already done."

* * *

On the bus, Jack explained once again–this time without any interruptions–that Tooth had to take the car in for repairs. That left him and Hiccup using public transportation to get to wherever they were going. Hiccup consistently needled away at him, trying to figure out just what exactly Jack had planned today. But Jack was as stubborn as a mule, and refused to tell him anything.

Hiccup thanked the gods that he was as stubborn as a Viking, and continued to persistently annoy Jack until finally, when they boarded the train, Jack let it slip.

"You're taking me to a carnival." Hiccup didn't even bother phrasing it as a question.

Jack smiled and nodded with glee. "Yep."

Hiccup gave him a long, silent look, and then gently lowered his head dramatically into his hands while attempting to hide a smile. "You're taking me to a bloody carnival…"

Jack's grin was positively blinding. "The funny thing is it's literally bloody. It's a horror carnival. So you can drop the fake British-ness and embrace my scary awesome-ness." He stretched out his arms, waiting and ready for a hug.

Hiccup sighed and leaned against the glass of the train's window, kneading his forehead. "You're literally taking me to a carnival…"

Jack's smile faltered. "Uh...I can't tell if you're being dramatic for the sake of sarcasm or not. Is...Was this a bad idea? Should I turn this train around?"

Hiccup snorted, then ruffled his hair, stretched, and let his arm fall over Jack's shoulders. He couldn't help but smile happily. "Honestly, I'm really happy. I've never been to a carnival before, so this will definitely be an experience to remember." He saw Jack's grin come back on full-force, and frowned. "But I have do some dignity left, so I never said anything. Alright?"

Jack just shrugged and leaned against Hiccup for the rest of their ride.

* * *

"Wow…"

There were flashing neon signs everywhere, as bright as ever even in daylight. They directed carnival-goers to your every day game booths, to food carts, to a Haunted House that Hiccup was itching to go to, to a horror ride that looked suspiciously flimsy but enjoyable anyways. It was surprisingly crowded, stuffed with people in raincoats and rain boots, clinging together and laughing and chatting and being generally obnoxious in that happy-go-lucky way. The atmosphere was one of pleasant anticipation, like when you're waiting for the good part of the movie to come but don't want your favorite character to get hurt even though probability states that they will.

It was infectious. Hiccup could feel a smile coming on, spreading from his face to his brain to his heart to his hands to his feet–wait, feet can smile? Jack was already bouncing to a game booth, fishing out a dollar and urging Hiccup to play with him. Hiccup nodded in excitement–why was he excited, it was just a silly Ping-Pong game, what was going on with him–and did his best to win against Jack. He failed, but he couldn't even find it in himself to sass about it, just laughing it off and giving Jack a congratulatory high-five for winning a key-chain with an evil clown cartoon drawn on it.

What was this? This strange, light-hearted happiness? They moved from booth to booth, stopping at a food cart to grab something to munch on. Hiccup's cheeks hurt from smiling, his hands shaking slightly with eager to grab Jack hug Jack thanks Jack. He felt light yet excited, like he could float and maybe even fly. Was it the lights that did this? Were they designed to hypnotically program your brain, since this was a carnival and you were only allowed to smile or something? Jack laughed at a particularly theatrical scene the bloody mime just performed, and even though Hiccup didn't get it, he laughed along with him. He felt so carefree, like there wasn't anything to worry about. Who cared if Jack was the only friend he had left? (Fishlegs moved away and Hiccup had stopped sending him letters two months ago. Astrid had beat him up their last fight, and Hiccup couldn't even remember anything about it beyond how much his face had hurt. The twins had disappeared when they were 13, and no one has seen them since. Snotlout always hated him.) Jack fished another dollar out of his pocket and shoved Hiccup into a photo booth. Who cared if Dad was at home drunk off his ass? Who cared about what would happen tomorrow, or in the future? Hiccup certainly didn't. He was too busy making silly faces along with Jack for their pictures. And really, why should he worry?

Right now, he was having so much fun. They were at a carnival, for Thor's sake! They had games to play, sweets to eat, Haunted Houses to cower in, and more. It was time for him to have fun!

* * *

An hour later, and they were nearing a storefront along the carnival's way. It was serving food at a good discount, and in front there was a ring-toss booth set up. Across the area was the Ghoulish Go Carts, or something like that, and most people seemed to gravitate from the restaurant right to either carnival activity.

The ring-toss had an unusually good selection of prizes. Instead of having the usual small plushies to large stuffed animals, it started off with little toys like a slinky or silly bandz. From there, it had a few tiny plushies, and then some glow sticks. What really stuck out were the top prizes. First top prize was this cheap telescope, second top prize was something weird that Hiccup couldn't correctly identify, and third top prize was a necklace.

Hiccup's eyes eagerly traced the shape of the charm of the necklace. He couldn't help it, it was so… so… appropriate. Flames curled majestically around a snowflake outlined in fake silver, the opposite elements outfitting each other perfectly. Like he said, it was disturbingly appropriate for his current situation, and he felt a little tug of need to have it. If he could possess that, if he could have it, he would constantly be reminded of this day, of Jack, of Jack and him, of dragons, of winter, of everything that he liked in his life.

But, wait a minute. Isn't this how his obsession with Toothless started? At first, it reminded him of better times, but gradually, it just spiraled into something… something bad. Maybe he shouldn't have that. Maybe he should turn away, grab his greedy little hands and shove them in his pockets. Reminders of good memories were cursed; they'd only ever serve to haunt you of better times, of when things weren't total shit. And though Hiccup wanted to cling to the (false) hope that things would always stay sunshine and rainbows, he knew better. He knew that one day, something would happen, and suddenly there would be no more Jack. No more snowballs and fun times, no more sarcastic jokes, no more morning walks, no more mischief, no more feeling whole again. It would disappear, someway or another, and having a keepsake from this time in his life would do him more bad than good.

So Hiccup looked away, shoved his hands into his pocket, and pretended he hadn't just had an earth-shattering epiphany.

* * *

Jack watched his friend; he decoded his body language as best as he could, noticing how he looked smaller now, more hunched, less open. He noticed how fidgety Hiccup became, how his feet never stopped moving, how his hands stayed in his pockets. He looked up, hoping to find something he could use to distract Hiccup from whatever it was that was eating away at him. Jack spotted a necklace, hanging innocently from a nail amidst all the other prices. He grinned, grabbed Hiccup, and dragged him forward to the booth.

Ten dollars, fifty plastic rings, forty-nine failed attempts, and a round of applause later, Jack received the necklace from the dealer and happily handed it over to Hiccup. The boy gave him a wide-eyed look, about to deny when Jack shushed him gently. "Think of it as a belated birthday present from me to you." Hiccup opened and shut his mouth, clearly trying to think of a way to negate that. Jack just rolled his eyes, took the necklace, and quickly clipped it around his friend's neck.

He looked back, gave him a once over, and then winked. "Looks perfect on you. Now c'mon, let's go! I think I see a ride over there and the line looks fairly short."

And with that, the conversation was over, leaving Hiccup with the cutest little red hue to his cheeks and Jack feeling like an accomplished businessman in the art of winning Hiccup's heart.

* * *

This was a bad, bad idea.

"Uh, Jack? I take it back. You're obviously a better man than I am. Can we go leave now?" Hiccup was practically dragging Jack down with the way he was clinging to him, and yet Jack still kept moving forward.

"No. You insulted my manly pride, so now I have to show off my bravery!" Jack heaved Hiccup up, grabbed his arm with both hands, and started dragging him forward.

Hiccup dug his feet into the hardwood floor–for anyone's information, polished hardwood floors don't have a good amount of traction. "Jack, I already apologized like five times! Please, let's just go." Hiccup was looking around wildly; there were cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, blood stained the moldy walls, and he was pretty sure that was a skull hanging in the living room doorway. On top of that, there wasn't any lighting. At all.

Hiccup wasn't too fond of the dark, nor what could be hiding in it.

Jack suddenly pounced on him, grabbing him by the middle and hefting him up onto his shoulder. Hiccup squeaked, then started wiggling to get out of his hold. "Hey, let me go!"

"Nope! We are doing this Haunted House, even if it's the last thing we do!"

"Speak for yourself! I'm not taking another step into–"

"Eek!"

Jack jumped backwards, Hiccup fell onto his face, Jack fell over Hiccup, and something pale and furry brushed right over their heads. The boys scrambled over each other, yelling to hurry up and tripping over an abandoned skeleton that had fallen off a dining chair. They raced to a door, yanked it open, and slammed it shut. Jack rushed to the window, trying to tug it open, cursing and whispering harshly "Never again a Haunted House, never again a Haunted House, never again a Haunted House!" Hiccup eyed the door, spotted a rocking chair, and started pushing it in front to use it as a blockade.

"This is all your fault, Jack!"

"I know! Can't you see I'm trying to get us out of here?"

"Why'd you have to pick the Haunted House, huh? Out of all the carnival attractions, you just HAD to pick the Haunted House–"

"You didn't really help much by taunting my cowardice!"

Hiccup triumphantly pointed at Jack and exclaimed, "Ha! You admitted it! You're a scaredy-cat!"

Jack opened his mouth to retaliate, but something jumped out of the closet with a scream. Both boys shrieked and hightailed it out of the bedroom. Back in the living room, Hiccup grasped Jack's hand tightly, shivering and mumbling, "This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea. This was a very, very bad idea."

Jack shushed him quietly, comfortingly giving Hiccup a quick hug before looking around. "Okay, any ideas to get out of here?"

"Uh, windows?"

"Locked from the outside."

"Exit doors?"

"We can't go back the way we came, we'll be breaking some weird rules thing they've got."

"Um… Find a sledgehammer and break down a couple walls?"

Jack stared at Hiccup for a moment. Then he blinked, nodded, and moved to the kitchen. "Good plan. Help me find a blunt, heavy object." Both boys started opening cabinets and cupboards, but when Hiccup found what looked like a pile of intestines and a heart dripping from the shelves, they quickly abandoned that and moved back to the living room.

Jack snapped his fingers with an "Aha!" and started digging around in his pockets.

"What? What is it?"

"They gave me a map!"

Hiccup groaned and slapped his forehead. "Why didn't you take that out earlier? We could've been done–You know what, forget it. Gimme that." He snatched the map out of his friend's hands, ignoring the little shout of 'Hey!' Quickly he scanned through it, and then pointed at the exit. "See that? That's an elevator leading from the third floor to the first floor, and it opens up right at the end of the exhibit. We could take that and get out of here in no time."

Jack directed his gaze to the rest of the layout. "That's all nice and dandy, but you're forgetting that the only way to get there, is through the entire second floor! Which, mind you, is littered with jump scares!"

Hiccup turned to him with a harsh glare. "I'm not seeing you coming up with any better ideas!"

Jack shushed him.

"Don't shush me–"

"SHHH!"

Jack slapped a hand over Hiccup's mouth, and the momentary silence allowed both boys to hear it. Tap-tap-sksh. Tap-tap-sksh. They looked at each other. What was that? The soft sound continued, getting louder, seeming to come from the kitchen. A little child's voice joined in, humming an abstract tune. The sound suddenly turned sharp, like metal dragging on a hard surface. Tap-tap-sklank. Tap-tap-sklank.

Hiccup gave Jack a wide-eyed look, one that clearly stated 'Dude I know what that is that's an axe some kid is dragging an axe from the backyard to the kitchen to the living room.' Jack returned the look with an equally wide-eyed expression of 'Holy crap man I have no idea what you're trying to tell me via eye-speech but I'm sure as hell freaking out because of that kid right now.'

They both nodded and spoke at the same time. "Fuck it." Together, they raced upstairs, ducking into the first room they found.

Jack was trembling with fright as he blocked the door with his back. They'd taken to whispering, fearing the probably homicidal little child after them. "Holy shit. Holy shit! What the hell are we going to do?"

Hiccup rubbed a hand over his face, trying to ignore how badly his hands were shaking. "I-I don't know! Let me, just lemme think." He looked around, recognizing that they were in the bathroom.

Something shifted behind the shower curtain.

Both boys stopped breathing.

Hiccup stepped in front of Jack, trying to protect him even as his hand groped around wildly for Jack's (and his panic-riddled brain apparently ignored the fact that they were in no real danger anyways.) Jack eagerly took his hand and stepped behind him for shelter, staring at the shower curtain. Shaking, Hiccup slowly stretched out a hand and grasped a fold in the curtain. Mentally counting to three, he yanked the curtain to the side.

In the tub, eyes sunken and drenched in water, a dead woman rose up, moaning loudly.

"Odin's Ghost!"

"Pedophilic penguins!"

The two dashed out of the bathroom and down the second floor hallway. They didn't bother stopping or jumping into any other rooms; they just made a straight getaway for the stairs. Skeletons and bats and ghosts popped out in front of them, howling and groaning and shrieking. They just barreled through it all until they reached the third floor.

Leaning his back against the bannister, Hiccup took a moment to catch his breath. Jack gasped for air beside him, bent over with his hands on his knees. In a few moments, when they could breathe normally again, they stood up and took each other's hands, looking around for any signs of another scare.

"Hiccup, check the map. Where are we?"

Hiccup fumbled to take the map out of his pocket. His fingers grasped a hold of it, but it slipped away from his shaking grasp. Mumbling a curse, he bent down to get it back. "Okay, um… I-It says, uh…" He looked around for any specific markings he could use for a reference, and spotted a mask that looked a lot like Jason's from those scary movies. "Okay well, that's a Jason mask."

Jack slapped at a spot on the map. "And that's a Jason mask, too. I'm assuming we're there?"

Hiccup hummed in approval and twisted the map right side up. "Yes. And we have to get to that door, so...Huh. Look at this."

Jack peered over his friend's shoulder, squinting to try and see a little better in the dark setting. "What am I looking for?"

"Nothing. That's the point. Apparently the third-floor hallway has no scares."

Jack gave Hiccup a skeptical look. "Are you serious? This Haunted House is filled to the brim with jump-scares, and yet the one hallway before you leave is completely blank of everything except your occasional spider and skeleton?"

Hiccup shrugged and shook the map to make a point, now folded up and ready to be placed back in his pocket. "That's what the map says."

"I find that hard to believe. "

Hiccup was about to respond when an unfamiliar voice behind them said "Good job. You figured out the puzzle. Want to play another game?"

Both boys whirled around. The Jason mask was now right in front of them, connected to a head of moss and a tall bulky figure carrying a bloody machete. It chuckled darkly, fingering the edge of the blade. "Please don't tell me it's game over already."

All three launched into action; Jack and Hiccup jumping to run away, and the Jason-masked person jumping to hack away at their limbs. The teens stumbled over each other in their haste, cursing before regaining their footing and dashing away. The masked being only cackled and shouted at them to keep playing the game, swinging their machete around wildly.

A skeleton shrieked and fell out of a doorway by Jack, and he yelped in surprise and tripped. He went down with a hard thump, hand landing in an awkward and painful position. He exclaimed in pain and rolled, breathing hard and trying to get his feet under him to start running away again. He was so, SO close to the elevator–a ghoul riding on a skateboard sailed right under his feet and caused him to go sprawling again. Not knowing what else to do, he called out for the only other dependable person here with a gasp. "Hiccup!"

Hiccup spun around at the sound of his name, and spotted Jack on the floor, cowering beneath the Jason-mask-bearer with their machete raised high for a lethal strike. "NO!" In less than a millisecond, he was racing back, roaring and flashing out his pocketknife. He knew that one day it would come in handy, and today was the day. "DON'T YOU HURT HIM!"

He barreled into the man and sent them both rolling. Emerging on top, he snarled and pushed them down, the knife's edge sliding right against their throat. "DON'T MOVE!"

"WOAH WAIT SLOW DOWN WHAT THE FUCK WAIT–"

The man threw Hiccup off of him, but Hiccup rolled with the momentum and launched onto his feet, prepared to fight for Jack's–and his–life. Instead, the man threw the machete away and ripped off both his mask and wig, putting his hands up and backing away with wide eyes. "Relax! Holy fucking hell man, take it easy! It's all fake, I swear! It's rubber, go check it out yourself, the sword is rubber!"

Hiccup blinked, and let his senses come back to him. Jack was standing now, staring at what had just happened with wide eyes and an open mouth. The youth who had pretended to be Jason was still taking steps away from them, breathing heavily with his hands raised in an effort to look less threatening.

And there Hiccup was panting and holding a pocket knife out like a damn idiot.

Feeling an uncomfortable heat rising up his neck, Hiccup shut his knife and slid it into his back pocket. Clearing his throat, he moved to grab Jack by his forearm, and walked the rest of the way to the elevator. Behind them, the employee cursed again and started picking up their props. How the hell had he forgotten this was a Haunted House? It was all fake! How did he not realize that!

The elevator appeared with a ghostly chuckle, and Hiccup flinched, adrenaline still running high even after that whole embarrassing fiasco. They stepped into the elevator in silence. They waited in silence. They stepped out of the elevator in silence.

By then, Hiccup couldn't take it anymore. Burning with humiliation and feeling like the worst friend–companion? acquaintance? guy you invite to a carnival?–in the world, he apologized in a rush. "I'm so sorry, I really really am, that was completely uncalled for, gods above, really Jack I overreacted I'm so sorry I didn't mean to lose my cool it's just that–I–I don't know I'm so sorry I'm sorry."

Jack still didn't respond, and Hiccup knew then and there that he'd just ruined EVERYTHING–

"You...jumped a fake homicidal psychopath."

Hiccup flinched but didn't respond, looking down and scuffing his shoes on the pavement.

"With a pocket knife."

Hiccup bit his lip and fumbled around with his jacket zipper and hands, uncomfortable and humiliated and unable to stay still under the pressure.

"To save my not-in-danger life."

Hiccup didn't know what to do in light of that, so he just sighed and shrugged, yearning to just run away right then and there. "I get it, I'll leave–"

Hiccup was suddenly engulfed in a tight hug. Jack practically squished him to his chest, almost picking him up entirely. Hiccup made a sound of surprise, not really understanding what was going on, but decided to take advantage of it anyways. He wrapped his own arms around Jack's waist, hugging him back, and feeling a little better because of it. Jack whispered, "That's the nicest thing anyone has done for me. Thank you." and then kissed him quickly on the cheek before letting Hiccup go.

Hiccup's heart back flipped and his whole body felt like it was overheating.

Jack grinned–Hiccup spotted the edges of his ears turning a little pink–and took Hiccup's hand. "I've had enough of this stupid carnival. I say we get some ice cream and head on over to my place. You in?"

All Hiccup could do was nod, too stunned by the series of events that had just occurred. All he could think of was–bythegods did Jack just thatjusthappened Loki you better not be tricking me Jack just he just he just kissedme kisedmycheek kissedme!

* * *

"H-Hi, Jack's mom… Um, it's nice to meet you." Hiccup awkwardly held out a hand to shake, hoping he was pulling off a friendly smile. The colourful woman practically beamed, and Hiccup couldn't help but notice how perfect her teeth were.

"Hello!" She bypassed his hand and went straight for a hug, dismissing personal boundaries entirely. Hiccup wheezed at the strength she put into squeezing him, deciding that he would never ever give her the opportunity to hug him ever again. "I've heard so much about you!" She let him go and patted his cheek, something he assumed most mothers did. Hiccup didn't appreciate it. "My goodness, wow. You really are handsome! Jack talks about you all the time, it's so good to finally put a face to all–"

Jack cleared his throat loudly. His foster mother immediately slapped a hand over her mouth and mumbled a quiet "Oops." Jack slapped his forehead with his palm. Hiccup raised his eyebrows at it all and just chuckled. Deciding to be the better man, he continued the conversation.

"Thank you, ma'am."

She waved a hand at him with a cheeky smile and nearly floated back into the kitchen. "Oh, no need for that. My name is Teresa, but you can call me Tooth. Everyone else does, anyways." Her laugh was light and carefree, and it reminded Hiccup of Jack's, for some reason. Perhaps because it was cheerful. Hiccup had learned early on that it took a lot to bring Jack down from his happy-go-lucky attitude.

"Uh, okay."

Tooth's grin was practically blinding. "Wonderful! By the way, are you going to stay for dinner?" She winked and whispered as if she was letting him in on a big secret. "They all say I make a mean curry."

"Um–"

"Jack!"

Jack instantly turned around and caught the flying child right in his arms. "Emma, darlin', hey!" He grabbed her up and twirled her around, the both of them laughing, before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and setting her down. "How are ya, kiddo?"

She smiled happily, and Hiccup heard Tooth laugh behind him. "I'm great! I just went on this wild adventure to Oompa Loompa Island, and then Santa Clause came and brought me a thousand toys, but the Oompa Loompas and Santa were about have a fight because–"

Tooth breezed by Hiccup to reach into a cabinet, but seeing as she was too short, Hiccup plucked the can out for her instead. She smiled again. "Thank you, Hiccup." She nodded her head to the two siblings who were chatting together like they were the only two people in the world. "Emma is just as bad as Jack is during playtime. I swear, the two of them will just never grow up." She rolled her eyes in exasperation, but Hiccup had a feeling that she preferred her two children to stay carefree. Parents had a bad habit of saying one thing and meaning something else entirely.

Jack waved at Hiccup to come over. Feeling a little out of place, Hiccup hesitated. Things were so weird in this household. Tooth was so welcoming to a complete stranger. Emma and Jack were siblings, and were quite obviously having a moment together. Hiccup didn't want to be intruding. Already, he could see how much everyone loved each other in this family, despite the obvious differences. Jack's hair and eye color were almost irrelevant, regardless of their color, when it came between him and Emma; the way they interacted, their expressions and personalities, everything pointed to them being siblings and Hiccup had only just seen them together for the last five minutes. Tooth was almost the perfect mom: a loving and happy parent to her little and not-so-little bundles of joy.

Hiccup hadn't even met Jack's father yet and already he was feeling just being there was a mistake.

Jack waved him over again, and Hiccup obeyed. Emma gave him a friendly "Hello!" Hiccup did his best to greet her appropriately.

"Hi."

"You're Hiccup, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"It's nice to meet you!" She proudly held out her hand for a shake.

"N-Nice to meet you, too." Hiccup took her tiny hand in his large one and gave it a gentle swing.

She suddenly smirked and started yanking him into the living room. "Come play with me!"

"U-Uh–wait, hold on–" Hiccup looked to Jack for help, but his friend just barked a laugh and skipped along with them. Emma kept on prattling about her imaginary world and the great battle between the Oompa Loompa's and Santa Claus. Hiccup stumbled over a stuffed toy, and Emma let go of his hand to jump onto the couch, where an array of stuffed animals and Barbie dolls were lying in wait. Hiccup bent down to pick up the toy he'd tripped over, and felt the smile that had appeared slip away from his face.

In his hand was Toothless.

The toy looked a little worse for wear, but otherwise completely intact. There was a new stain on one of its ears that looked suspiciously like ketchup, and its left wing looked to have been re-stitched on to its back, but beyond that it was fine. There was the button nose, and stitched green eyes, and toothless smile that he would recognize anywhere.

Hiccup held it with trembling hands, staring intently at the one keepsake he had left of his mother. He slowly stood up, leaning against the wall for support, not able to do much more than just gape silently. He'd searched for it for so long, so intently. How did it end up here? Why was it here? How did this ha–

"Hiccup?" Jack's face was carefree, but anyone would be able to detect the note of concern in his voice. Hiccup didn't know how to reply, so he just held out Toothless.

Emma stopped organizing her toys into a tea party long enough to shout "Aha!" She rushed forward, snatching Toothless right out of Hiccup's hands. He felt an irrational need to scream 'MINE!' at her and grab it back.

"Hiccup, I see you've found Night! Isn't she so cute? She's called Night because her scales are as black as the night sky, but sometimes they get shiny with the light of the stars, so it can kind of be a double-whammy. Oh! She's also called Night Fury by her enemies, because she's so cool she just swoops in, all silent and stuff, and BAM blows you right up with her awesome plasma blast!" Emma flew the toy around, spinning in a tight circle and laughing. "She never misses! Ever!" Then she skipped back to the couch to continue her game, calling for Jack to join her.

Hiccup wanted to tell her that Toothless' name was Toothless. He wanted to tell her that Toothless wasn't a girl, but a boy. He wanted to tell her that Toothless' species was a Night Fury, and that Toothless' scales didn't sparkle because he was a master of stealth, and that Toothless really was cool, and that Toothless was the greatest friend you could ever wish for, and that he was Hiccup's.

But Hiccup knew that would be irrational of him to do so, and that Emma was Jack's sister, and that this wasn't his home, and that he really needed to leave right now before he had a nervous breakdown or something.

Hiccup immediately turned around and strode to the door.

"Hey! What–"Jack lurched forward and grabbed his friend's wrist. "Hiccup? What's going on? You're acting weird all of a sudden. Did...Did someone do something to upset you?"

Emma quietly lowered her voice, pausing her game. Hiccup shook his head and managed to choke out, "I need to leave. Now."

Tooth's voice called happily for Emma to help her in the kitchen. The young girl obediently left. Jack forced Hiccup to turn around, and tried making eye contact. "Hiccup? Seriously, what the hell is going on? Are you feeling okay? Do I need to call for a doctor or something?"

Hiccup shook his head. He knew he wasn't getting out of this. He had to-had to collect himself, had to man up, had to stop being a baby and just get over with it.

"Hiccup? Please, talk to me, I can help–"

"Do you remember the day we met?", Hiccup interrupted him.

Jack nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Well, I–" Hiccup stopped, forced himself to take a deep breath, and decided to Hel with it. "I was in the park because I ran away because my Dad is a drunk asshole and threw out the only remaining gift from my dead mother and that just so happened to be a stuffed toy I called Toothless that for some reason is sitting right there on the couch in between your sister's toys."

Jack blinked and gave Hiccup a confused look. "Whaaat…?"

Hiccup sighed and anxiously ran a hand through his hair, desperately trying not to be an emotional brat about this. "That toy dragon your sister was playing with? That was Toothless. It's...It was the only thing left I had of my mother." He tried breathing again, to keep himself under control, but it was too shaky to be a proper breath and it just made him feel a little nauseous. "She worked on it for months, day and night, adjusting it and making sure it was perfect. S-She gave it to me on Christmas..."

Hiccup didn't trust his knees to support him anymore, shaking as they were, and slowly slid down the (sit).

"I don't know how your sister got it… My Dad threw it out, that time I ran away to the park. I don't understand why he threw it out, and I honestly don't care. I don't fucking understand half the shit he does, anyways. All I know is that Toothless is right–right there, on your couch, because somehow your sister found it. Somehow. I don't know. Fu–Flying fudge-tastic flowers I have no idea what is going on."

Hiccup covered his face with his hands, shrinking in on himself, and trying to focus more on how he'd almost cursed in front of Emma as she walked back into the living room instead of Jack's shocked and mildly disbelieving expression after he'd told him about Toothless.

"Um… Wow. That…. That sounds… not good." Hiccup felt Jack settle down next to him, a presence that would've been comforting at any other time, except for that moment.

Hiccup managed a dry chuckle, removing his hands from his face and instead curling up even more, hugging his knees to his chest and determinedly staring at the floor. "Yeah, not good. That's one way to put it."

"Are...Are you sure that's–"

"Yes." There was no room for argument in Hiccup's voice. "I'd recognize him anywhere. Mom made that herself. She literally picked out every single thread, fabric, and piece of cotton all by herself. I can't remember how long she spent working on it, but I know it was for a really long time. It's...That toy is the only thing I have left of her. She put all her soul into it and he just–" Hiccup had to stop himself from saying something inappropriate, remembering that Emma was still somewhat within earshot. He looked to Jack, noticing that his friend looked like he believed him, but still thought that it was entirely too crazy of a coincidence. Hiccup sighed, squeezing even more so into himself. He didn't know why he always felt the need to huddle and close himself in, but it felt like the only way to keep himself together.

"The first year, Dad was...weird. Sometimes, he'd have a good day, and we'd manage a full conversation at dinner without breaking down. Other times… It was like he didn't know what he was doing. As if he was living in a world completely out of our own, and he'd randomly come back to this reality, not knowing what was going on. The very first three months, he'd sometimes ask me wh–where Mom was, as if I would know. I-I knew he was taking it as bad as I was, if not worse. I tried my best to help him, I did. But… After that first year, things just…. It got bad, Jack. He didn't want to talk to me anymore. He shut himself out from the rest of the world, lost contact with everyone else, changed jobs… Whenever I would try and speak with him, he'd either ignore me, or-or yell at me to leave him alone. "

Hiccup didn't think he could shrink his body in any more, but he desperately wished he could.

"I remember… I remember him coming home one night, drunk as Hel, and throwing things into garbage bags. I didn't get it, but then I saw him taking pictures off the walls and smashing them, and tearing up all of Mommy's clothing, and I just… I tried to stop him. But he said something about how it was too much, how it didn't matter, how she was gone and we-we couldn't have 'the ghost of her' living here anymore, how it was too painful. And then he just kind of conked out on the floor, just like that. And… And I get it. I understood. It was horrible, having reminders of her everywhere you looked. It was terrifying, imagining her hovering behind us every step of the way, unable to rest and seeing just how bad everything was starting to become. I packed up whatever was left and shoved it into the basement, but I guess he found it later on, because I couldn't find that bag ever again."

Hiccup really didn't want to be there anymore, but once he started talking, he couldn't seem to stop. So he tried to bury his face in his arms, muffle his entire existence by hiding within his coat sleeves and elbows and knees.

"It just kept getting worse and worse. I don't know why, Jack, but it just did. He started drinking more and more, and we started shouting more and more, and I missed Mommy so much and he wasn't really helping, spending every weekend out doing… doing whatever. Eventually, we fell into a routine. I didn't bother him, he didn't bother me. It sucks, because I remember when we used to go out fishing, and I remember Mom forcing us into camping trips, and I remember vacationing in Europe but–I–He just… He just stopped. I… I honestly didn't even think he knew I existed anymore until a few months back. I made the stupid–stupid, so damn stupid!–mistake of leaving Toothless in the washing machine, and he–he found it and threw it out! He threw it out, just like that! Toothless is mine! Mommy made Toothless for me, for my Snoggletog present, and it was the only thing I had left of her and he just threw it away like it didn't even matter!"

And there he went, crying like the child he was. But this time it was a little better, since Jack comfortingly wrapped his arms around him and whispered about how he understood, how he too had a keepsake of his parents just upstairs in his own bedroom, how Emma would understand and Hiccup could get Toothless back.

* * *

The week following that was probably the third most confusing of Hiccup's life–the second being when he discovered his sexuality, and the first being when his mother died.

Every night, Hiccup would smile and curl up under his bed sheets, hugging Toothless close to his chest and humming silly songs he barely remembered from his mother's lullabies. Then, sometime just before he was about to fall asleep, he'd remember how happy Emma had been playing with his toy. He remembered her twirling around with Toothless, allowing the dragon to fly. He remembered her smiling and laughing with Toothless, having her toys battle out the awesome fight between the Oompa Loompas and Santa's evil elves. He remembered the amazing powers she'd given Toothless, and tried to imagine his best Night Fury as a female, glittering with the light of the stars and annihilating all the enemies in her path with a single plasma blast.

He had to admit, it was pretty cool. Not as cool as his own adventures with Toothless, of course, but cool enough.

That Saturday, he sat quietly on his bed, staring at Toothless' unseeing stitched green-yellow eyes. He searched for a revelation within the buttons and threads of his last toy. If he really thought about it, what was the point in having Toothless?

It was his keepsake! The last thing he had left of his mother! Why should he part with something so dear to him?

But sentimental value wasn't a good enough reason to keep something, right? Honestly, if he didn't sleep with Toothless every night, the toy would probably be on his shelves collecting dust for the rest of its life. It felt wrong to keep it close but not use it. And really, what was he using it for? To obsess over the ideal of a perfect family he knew he'd never get back?

No! It was so that he could keep the memory of his mother alive!

But she wasn't alive, she was dead! How could you keep the memory of someone dead, alive? It didn't make sense!

Yes it did!

No it didn't!

Then what was the point of having a mother anyways if you weren't going to remember her in death?

The point of having a mother was to be loved, to be cherished and protected and cared for, to be taught how to care and love others. He didn't need a toy to remind him of how much his mother loved him! He could still remember it! Sure, he didn't remember her face...or her voice… or half the things she'd tell him...But he still remembered _her_! He still remembered how much she cared for him, how much she loved him, how much she meant to him! He remembered that one day Snotlout got too rough in the park, and pushed him, and he tripped and skinned his knee on a rock. He remembered her fussing over him, kissing his cheeks and the dinosaur Band-Aid once she finished cleaning him up. He remembered how much she would laugh and smile when they would find a new 'secret place' when they went hiking, how she'd spread her arms wide and grin into the bright blue sky. He remembered the way she tucked him into bed at night, with a quick story from his favorite Dragon book series, a soft song, and a kiss goodnight.

Hiccup sobbed openly, gasping into his hands and the edges of his shirtsleeves. After a while, once he'd recollected both his dignity and his sanity, he quickly made a decision. For the last time, he tucked Toothless into his chest and kissed his dragon friend good night. It would be the last time they comforted each other in sleep.

* * *

The following morning he knocked on Jack's door. After the customary greetings, he pulled Jack aside to the kitchen, watching Emma play happily with her toys. Tooth was out doing a house call. Hiccup took a deep breath, pulled Toothless out of the bag he'd brought, and handed it to Jack.

"I, I don't… I don't need it anymore."

Jack gave him an astonished look, and then frowned, thinking he'd realized the reason why Hiccup had decided to do this. "Hiccup, don't do this for Emma. It's from your mother, you should keep it–"

"No! No, I–really, Jack, please." Hiccup looked from Jack to Emma, and then grabbed his friend's arm and dragged him upstairs. What they were about to discuss was personal, and honestly, he didn't want to ruin Emma's childhood with his pitiful sob story. No child should hear this.

"Jack, just… Hear me out, okay? Can you do that?"

It looked as if Jack was tempted to roll his eyes, but he nodded instead. Hiccup breathed out a thank you, tried to focus his thoughts, and then just decided to go for it.

"Yes, Toothless is… The toy was the only thing I have left of my mom. Yeah. But, I… I just don't think I need it. Before, I was… I had this…" Hiccup sighed. "Gods, I've never been good with words… I was bad, Jack. My state of mind was horrible. Every night, I'd obsess over this toy, and just… It was like I believed I could bring her back, you know? Like if I gave it enough love, took care of it well enough, that one day it would magically transform into Mommy and then everything would be alright again. She'd be alive, she'd straighten up the house, cook some food, get Dad sober again... And then we'd go hiking, have a picnic, maybe build a tree house together… Maybe we'd be a family again." Hiccup forced himself to NOT choke up, to NOT picture everything he was saying, to NOT focus on the emotional pain still so very much present in his soul. "But that's not how things work. Because of… of everything, that keepsake evolved into–into–I don't know! But it was bad! It brought me to a place of negativity that I–I can't go back to! It's, it's better now, I think. Without it, I can think clearly, and not everything in my life revolves around her d-dea-death, and well… If toys could express emotions, I think Toothless would be happy too. Emma actually enjoys playing with him. I just sort of… stared at him while crying silently… Not fun."

Hiccup chanced a peek at Jack, and then quickly looked away again, not wanting to decode the expression he'd just seen.

"Besides… I've got something better to keep in my heart."

Oh fuck, was he really going to do this? Was he really going to confess, just like that? After everything he'd just said? Hiccup shyly played with the charm now hanging around his neck.

"It's you."

* * *

Jack was shocked.

And in denial.

Hiccup reminded him of a puzzle. And not those silly, five-piece Disney princess ones. No, no, Hiccup… Hiccup was something else. Every moment spent with him was just another little piece of information, another tidbit, and another part of a giant, magnificent puzzle waiting to be solved. It was difficult, trying to understand what everything meant; to try and find the meaning behind every twitch, every stutter, every quirk of an eyebrow, every sarcastic quip.

Sometimes, Jack would come home drained of energy, forced to just take a nap from how emotionally exhausting it was to hang out with Hiccup. He'd have to tiptoe around certain topics, dance around subjects too heavy to be light-hearted. He would wonder, sometimes, if he and Emma had been this difficult in the beginning.

And holding himself back from smothering Hiccup in hugs? Yeah, that in itself was a whole other matter.

Other times, Jack would jump through the door and just run around like a chicken with no head. He'd laugh and giggle and chuckle. He'd scoop Emma up and play horsey, or yank her outside for some hopscotch. He'd Skype Jaime and Aster and just babble for hours on end about Hiccup's messy red locks, Hiccup's forest-green eyes, Hiccup's constellation freckles, Hiccup's nose Hiccup's voice Hiccup's lips Hiccup Hiccup Hiccup–

That was usually around the time when everyone would just ignore him until he finally calmed down from his Hiccup-high.

Right now was one of those times where Jack found himself irrevocably confused by the current turn of events. Last he'd heard of it, this Toothless toy dragon thing was a very serious matter for Hiccup. He shouldn't be letting go of something that important so easily. And it didn't seem like it was for Emma's sake, either, no matter what he initially thought. Perhaps Hiccup really was trying to move on from his mother's death? Jack could tell from first-hand experience how difficult and troubling that could be. Or maybe Hiccup was just running away from the memories? It wouldn't be good to do that. Jack was also speaking from experience on that matter, too.

But, as he watched Hiccup go from insecure, timid, broken, and lost, to determined, resolute, strong, and even slightly forceful–and then a little shy there at the end–all he could think of was:

"Can I kiss you?"

* * *

Uh, what? Was Hiccup hearing things? No way had Jack just said that. Nuh uh. Yeah, Hiccup was hearing things. He was probably going deaf and just imagining the perfect scenario of events. Yep.

But apparently Jack had taken his silence as a yes, because out of nowhere, Hiccup found himself immersed in a cool embrace.

It took a few minutes, but when he finally managed to detach himself from those shockingly tasty lips, he smiled like a goofball and could only stare into those pretty blue eyes.

Jack smirked; yes, he was feeling very proud of himself right now. Bite him for enjoying a kiss. Hiccup was looking a little speechless, too, so he decided to move the conversation onto something they'd probably both enjoy discussing.

"And yes, by the way. I'd love to be your boyfriend. You know, if you were ever planning on asking me."

Hiccup blushed and nervously ran his fingers through his hair, shaking it a little and trying to smile-shrug things off. "W-Would you be my boyfriend?"

Jack decided it was best to just kiss him again, instead of pointing out that he'd kind of already been courting Hiccup for a while now anyways.

* * *

**ew rushed endings**

**ugh i hate this everyone is so out of character and nothing even makes sense and just urgh… the boy katniss, you should definitely make an account. that way i can properly apologize to you.**

**i also was entirely unoriginal and used Toothless as a plushie. I wanted to go with the original blue-stuffed-Nadder-toy that Hiccup's mother gave to him in the TV show, but then I realized that Toothless would therefore not exist in this fanfiction at all.**

**TOOTHLESS MUST EXIST**

**(so this whole bloody chapter is pretty fukin' random…)**


	14. Chapter 14: Day 14: Laugh

**So, I'm well aware that the last one might've been a little too sad...? So! To make up for it–jajajajaaan~ Ridiculous humor! My objective is to make my readers laugh as much as possible in this one, go ahead and review which parts you enjoyed the most, or jot down how many times you chuckled, whichever and whatever and whenever works for you.**

**A very big thank you to faisyah865! You are a splendid human being! Seriously guys, go check them out. They've supported me and kindly reviewed on my writing, the least I can do is direct you to them. I've read some very cute pieces that they've written, and their profile is chock-full of good fics to read.**

* * *

**Rating: K borderline T**

**Warning: Mentions of the naughty-naughty, annoying boyfriends, Algebra, nicknames gone wrong, music gone wrong, swagger-walks. A single bad word that is technically a body part so anatmy and it's also technically a nickname so is it really a bad word...? Also, second person.**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, am proposing money as an incentive towards writing this. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own Rise of the Guardians, How To Train Your Guardian, Dragon Ball Z, Bee Gee's, Bee Gee's–Stayin' Alive, or really anything else that could potentially become a lawsuit against me.**

**Each line break is a POV switch. Starts with Hiccup, goes to Jack, then to Hiccup, back to Jack, etc. It's a pattern. I don't know when I will be next putting up a prompt response, but I hope it is soon. I'm already halfway through this challenge; I will finish it! Where's my super-sayin I need my super-sayin––**

* * *

**Day 14: Laugh**

"Hey, Hiccup?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Hey, hey Hiccup."

You sigh and say a little louder, "Yes, Jack?"

"Hey, Hiccup?"

Okay, now this was getting slightly annoying. You turn in your chair, leaving your homework and looking at Jack. "Yes. What is it?"

He was settled on your bed, giving you a cheeky look, biting his lips and holding back a grin. "Hey, hey Hiccup."

May the gods help you. You narrow your eyes at him, because you know he's just being a little shit, and go back to your work. You can hear him snickering before saying again, "Hey Hiccup?"

You growl under your breath. No, gods no, please don't let him start being annoying now. You furiously attack your algebraic equations, refusing to let him get to you. All of a sudden something is breathing by your ear and it whispers–

"Hey, Hiccup~"

You shriek–but you know who it is why are you so scared?!–and end up having a terribly dark line scratched all over your homework.

"Damn it, Jack!"

He's laughing and stumbling backwards, and you throw a slipper at him. "Leave me alone!" You huff, and go back to your homework.

"Hey, Hiccup."

No.

"Hiccup."

Nuh uh.

"Hicclet."

Not going to fall for it.

"HiccupHiccupHiccupHiccupHiccup–"

"ARGH!"

You practically fly out of your chair to tackle him. He shrieks in laughter and rushes away, bypassing the staircase entirely and just jumping over the railing to land on the floor below. Damn him and his parkour stunts! "Jackson get BACK HERE!" He shouts a "No!" and aims for the front door. You scramble down the staircase and out towards the front lawn, seeing that white haired idiot running like the wind.

* * *

You hear a faint tinkling outside the window. You give the inanimate glass pane a confused look, but your phone vibrates. You check who it is and see that Hiccup's here to pick you up. Grinning, you yell out a quick farewell to Emma and Mom, then rush out the door. Closing it and locking it, you turn around, expecting to see your awkward boyfriend standing there and ready to give you a kiss in greeting.

Instead, his skinny self is perched on top of a bicycle. He waggles his eyes suggestively and winks, ringing the bell, and says, "Hop on, babe."

It's silent for a moment. His smirk falters, and then he transforms back into that awkward little shit you know so well.

Then it sinks in that it was all a joke and you start laughing so hard you think you're dying.

Hiccup laughs along with you, getting off his bike and jogging over to give you a hello kiss. You're giggling too much for that, though, so he just gives you a hug and goes back to being a sarcastic-sexy-awkward teenage boy. "Let's go and wreck shit up!"

You guffaw and stumble all over yourself while trying to stand on the back bars. "That didn't even make sense!"

Hiccup only grins back at you. "You don't make sense!"

Then he rings his tiny bicycle bell and speeds off as fast as he can pedal, the both of you laughing and swerving like mad men.

* * *

You can spot him a mile away with how he's acting.

He's banging his head up and down to some imaginary beat, white hair flipping around even messier than usual. He's smirking at people like he's reincarnated Elvis, snapping his fingers at them and giving them provocative winks. He walks with a wide stride, some would even say with 'swagger', rolling his hips. At one point he even stops in the street and starts jamming away on a make-believe guitar, biting his lip and twirling and just being a generally crazy lunatic.

You cross the street, stop, and lean against a house gate. He saunters by you with every intention of just giving you a cheeky wink and passing on by, but then he recognizes you and grins. "Hiccup, hey!", he shouts way too loudly, and yep that confirms it. The idiot is listening to music.

You uncross your arms and give him a glare, poking his chest. "What are _you_ _doing_?!"

He looks confused at your anger but still has that smirk on his face. He pops out an ear bud and asks "What?"

You groan and slap a hand on your forehead. "You idiot! You were acting all–" and suddenly you lunge for his headphone. He yells out and the both of you get into a half-hearted struggle over the ear bud, in which you reign victorious and he looks to the side pouting like the big baby he is.

You pop the ear bud in and immediately hear a VERY familiar tune.

You glare at him and swat the back of his head gently. "Idiot! How many times do I have tell you not to listen to Bee Gee's when you're alone, especially when you're out on the street?"

He pouts even more, making an entirely new face you didn't think was possible. You decide to call it the Mega-Pout. "I couldn't help myself! The playlist decided to just bring it up out of nowhere and I just couldn't make myself press the skip button."

You groan and pinch the bridge of your nose. "You looked like such a ridiculous idiot…"

He tries for a weak smirk. "I couldn't have looked that bad...yeah?"

You give him a blank stare, before suddenly snatching his iPod and headphones.

"Let me show you how it's done, frost-pants."

* * *

The two of you are sprawled out together on his couch, relaxing on opposite sides. Your legs are entangled and knotted, but you can't bring yourself to care; you're much too comfortable to move, anyways. You're both watching this disgustingly-adorable rom-com, when suddenly out of nowhere, he says something so ridiculous you almost swore he'd never said it in the first place.

"She so wants the dick…"

You choke on air and spit, and start having a silent laugh-attack. He looks to you and snickers at you and how badly you're spasming all over the couch.

"O-oh my god, Hiccup–"

He guffaws and shakes with giggles. You accidentally roll off the couch, gasping between snorts and bouts of the funnies.

"Shut up, Jack, y-you're making it worse–"

"Hiccup! Oh my god–"

The both of you are dying from laughter. You think of something incredibly naughty and pat your thigh. "Don't worry, babe. If YOU ever want the dick, you know little Jack is always waiting for you."

Hiccup promptly has something like an asthma attack combined with a seizure, but it's all good, because he's smiling and blushing through it all. He manages to choke out, "Little Jack is too small to have any fun with!"

You gasp as if someone had just stolen the last ice cream cone and you were left eating it in a cup. "Hiccup! You did NOT–That's it! Come over here and let me show you just how BIG my little Jack is!"

Hiccup fakes a distressed yell and scrambles out of the living room, racing to the bedroom with you hot on his heels. "Never! You'll never catch me–mmph!"

Some time later the both of you are panting on his bed, shirts off and pants removed just enough for some fun times. You grin at him, triumphant, and say "Now, see how amazing my little Jack is?"

Hiccup gives you a contemplative look. "Hmm… You know what?"

Already you're feeling smug, knowing that he can't deny how–

"I was right. Little Jack simply is just too little."

You tackle him right off the bed.


	15. Chapter 15: Day 15: (free)

**Oh my gods it has been FOREVER. Sorry that it's taken me this long to put up another prompt fill... This is going to take my longer than I thought, especially with everything going on right now, but I made a promise–to myself, and to anyone reading this–and I intend to keep it. Regardless of how long it takes.**

**This fic is sort-of a scene taken from the new(is it still new at this point?) show, Daredevil. And because I wanted to try my hand at a Blind AU (and failed), and thought, 'Hey! Blind superheroes are cool!' along with 'I can totally see Stoick being a boxer and little Hiccup stitching him up every now and then!' Those two just sort of combined, and, yah...**

* * *

**Rating: K borderline T**

**Warning: Mentions of violence, mentions of gangsters, mentions of stiching up wounds though it's really only a sentance or two and it isn't even described, mentions of medicine–done wrong since author doesn't know how to EMS–a curse word, aaand I don't think I'm missing anything...?**

**Disclaimer: I have no intentions of making a profit. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Daredevil, Marvel, EMS, an EMT, a paramedic, a needle and thread, a first aid kit, Hell's Kitchen (woohoo NYC booyah), oh uh I don't own NYC or NYS or USA either, Guardians of Childhood, Emma's-not-canon-name, the police, or a black mask. No, wait, I do have a black mask, nevermind.**

* * *

**Day 15: (Free)Blind AU Daredevil AU**

**idk how to paramedic**

"Jack! Jack, come look!"

Jackson Overland peeked his head out of the fire escape, looking down to his little sister. "What is it, Emma?"

She pointed to the dumpster on their side of the alleyway and shouted, "There's a man in there!"

At first, Jack didn't believe her. Maybe she was just playing one of her imaginary games again? But, looking closer at her face, he could tell that she wasn't lying. If anything, she appeared to be shocked and frightened, not a good combination in his book. "Seriously?" He stepped out onto the fire escape and leaned over the railing, squinting his eyes at the dumpster three floors below. If he tilted his head just the right way, he could make out the figure of a body amidst all the trash, lightly highlighted by the streetlamp above them.

His eyes widened and his words tumbled out in a rush. "Manny be damned…"

In under ten minutes, he was ushering Emma back into the apartment building, asking her to get their neighbor Nightlight. He quickly put two fingers on the side of the man's neck and on their wrist, instinctively glancing down at his watch. A minute later, and he'd already calculated their heartbeats per minute. Perks of being a paramedic.

Noting their outfit and mask, both entirely black, Jack forced himself to dismiss his suspicions. Regardless of who they were, vigilante or mercenary, he would help them. When he first became an EMT, he'd sworn an oath to care for and support all lives, no matter what. He'd retaken it when he became a paramedic. It was his duty to keep his patients from dying until they reached the hospital. And that was what he was going to do.

Nightlight arrived then, gasping silently at the blood, before rushing forward to help. Jack moved to take off the man's mask and tugged him out of the garbage. "Nightlight, get his legs." The other man did so while Jack took the victim's arms. Together, they carried the man out of the dumpster and all the way up to the third floor, dropping him on Jack's couch. They both huffed for a little while, gathering their breath, before Jack dropped to his knees and started examining the man for deeper injuries.

"Nightlight, can you do me one more favor?", he asked as he hurriedly took out his kit, going directly for the most serious injury; it looked like a stab wound on the masked man's stomach. Nightlight nodded, and helped him by tugging the nameless man's shirt up. Both tenants hissed in pain at the sight of the wound, but their unexpected guest stayed blissfully unconscious.

"Uh...Take Emma to the Bennets, would'ja? Or Tooth's, Nick's, even Aster's, just… keep her distracted for a while, okay?" Jack took out some bandages, alcohol, and a needle and thread, determinedly looking at the open slice on the stomach of his newfound patient. "I… I don't want her to see this."

Nightlight gave another nod and a friendly pat to Jack's shoulder before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

Jack spent a good hour or so cleaning up the unknown man, stitching his wounds and bandaging him up. At one point, he checked his pupils to see if the man had any heavy head injury, and found that they didn't dilate, no matter how long he held the flashlight in front of them.

So, did that mean this man in a mask was blind? Jack fingered the dark cloth in his hands, warily watching the face of the unknown person on his couch. He'd heard stories about him. in fact, just a few nights ago, Tooth had told him about how the Man in the Mask–a vigilante recently gaining fame in Hell's Kitchen–had saved her from two thugs who'd followed her all the way from her job. Jack appreciated this, and having put two and two together, suspected that the Man in the Mask had recently encountered a dangerous opponent, therefore leading to having fallen into the alley dumpster where'd he'd been found by Emma.

Then again, this Man in the Mask was no joke. From taking down 6'4 body-builder thugs and roughing up the Russian gangs, it was clear this Man in the Mask knew how to fight. So how could he be blind? Jack leaned back in the chair he was resting in, staring intently at the red-head on his couch. As of right now, in his shocked state, Jack could really only think of that as the only explanation for why the pupils weren't dilated. Unless of course there really was a serious internal head injury, and Jack was just wasting time here debating–

The man groaned, and Jack jumped out of his seat with a gasp. Quickly, he snatched up the nearest item, which turned out to be the newspaper from this morning he'd left on the table. The man on the couch groaned again, blinking his eyes open before fumbling his hands around. Jack slowly walked around the table and towards the couch, staring at the moving man.

The guy breathed slowly, as if measuring the degree of pain he was in. Jack figured he should probably say something right about now–

The man swung his legs off the couch with a hiss, grasping at his wounded side all the while trying to stand up.

"Woah! Hey, what–no, no, sit back down, you can't go moving around after all that!" Jack rushed forward, putting a hand on the man's shoulder to gently ease him back onto the couch. Quicker than Jack could see, the man's arm lashed out, and his hand grabbed around Jack's wrist. His voice was hoarse and breathless, as if the wind had been knocked right out of him, when he spoke.

"W-Who are you? What are you doing? How did I get here?" Jack grit his teeth against the pain of the man's grip; he was obviously a lot stronger than Jack had first thought. Jack slapped the newspaper right over the man's head, trying to twist his arm out of the hold. But the man held on tight with a strength he hadn't known of before, the stranger's green eyes wide and flickering around in an attempt to see, flinching with every swat of the newspaper.

"Let go of me!"

"Not until you tell me what just ha–Oh gods…"

The man seemed to realize something else, something more important, because he released Jack in favor of faintly tracing his fingers over his face. "Y-You've seen my face…. You've seen my face."

Jack rubbed at his wrist with a quiet huff of discomfort. Jack's frown was heavy with worry and indecision. The newspaper dropped out of his hand, landing on the floor, the headline blaring in bold 'The Devil of Hell's Kitchen' with yet another blurry snapshot of the Man in the Mask rushing away from the scene of another beating. Jack's eyes flickered to the kitchen, where his phone and knives were waiting for him. If this man really was dangerous, maybe he should just make his way over there now–

"Where are you going? Who are you!" The man stood up now, slowly and sluggishly, face twisting in pain from the effort it took. Jack scowled, his kinder instincts getting the better of him, causing him to push the man back down onto the couch.

"Will you stop trying to move? You're going to start bleeding again and all that hard work I just did will be for nothing!"

The man seemed to go a little pale after that, eyes growing bigger still, the faded green in them becoming more prominent against his lightening skin. The few loose strands of his messy red hair stuck to his forehead from perspiration. "You were the one who… who patched me up?"

Jack's scowl probably looked like something from a horror movie. "Who else do you see standing around here? Mother Teresa? No! Now, would you oh so _kindly_ sit back and not cause me any more trouble!"

That seemed to shut him up. The man leaned back onto the couch, wincing and holding his side, looking properly chastised. Jack sighed, before snatching up his light and slipping on a new pair of gloves. "The name's Jackson. You can call me Jack." He bent down in front of the stranger, gripping their chin in his hand and tilting them upwards. Jack flashed his penlight into both of the man's eyes, growing more worried and confused by the second as neither pupil dilated. The man's iris kept shifting slightly, constantly moving and yet never settling on Jack's face, nor any other object in the room.

"Jack…"

"Yes, Jack." Jack's grumpy look continued even throughout his response. Even so, he kneeled onto the floor and reached for the stranger's black shirt, tugging it upward while pushing the other's chest to make them fall back so he could have better access to the wound. "Now, tell me something. Either I failed as a paramedic in all sense of the word, or you're blind, because you're having no reaction to my flashlight. At all."

The stranger grunted in pain as Jack continued to examine and treat his injury, albeit none-too-gently. "What are you doing? Why are you even doing all this? Shouldn't you be, oh I don't know, making the right choice and calling the po–Gyah!"

Jack ignored the tiny bubble of guilt in his chest, choosing instead to focus on the satisfaction of causing distress to the nuisance on his living room couch. He continued to close the injury, ignoring the man's flinch and grunt of pain every time the needle pierced their skin. Jack cleared his throat. "What's your name?"

The man stayed silent except for his reactions to pain.

Jack tugged on the needle a little harder than necessary. "Fine, don't tell me," he grumbled. "It's not like I want to be involved in all your vigilantism anyways."

The man gasped, and Jack knew it was not from pain or discomfort, because he hadn't done much of anything since he'd last paused. "H-How–What–", the man hissed in frustration, dragging a shaky hand through his red curls, sweat collecting on his forehead. "How'd you figure it out? W-Who are you working for?"

Jack could only stare blankly at the vigilante. "Seriously? The Man in Black is headlined on almost every single newspaper in the city, and you wonder how I made that assumption after finding you bleeding, in a dumpster, with a mask and full black attire?" The man's eyes flickered around, his brow furrowing and lips quirking in a distasteful expression. Jack scoffed and continued with his work, ignoring the vigilante's groan of pain. "Please. You're not Brain, and I'm not Pinky. I actually use my common sense, thank you." Jack focused on gently getting the thread across once more, murmuring softly and wiggling the needle through a particularly stubborn area. "Something you seem not to do, seeing as how you were lying on top of some garbage bags and bleeding your life away…"

"I was found in a dumpster?"

Jack looked up to find the man giving a curious, cautious expression in his direction. "You've gotta be kidding me. That's what you're focused on?"

The vigilante sniffed. "Ugh, so that's what reeks of mold and piss… I thought it was just your natural perfume."

Jack's eye twitched in annoyance. With an indignant click of his tongue, he yanked the needle through and left it dangling. "Fine then! Why don't you just sew yourself up, mister-I'm-too-vigilante-for-you!" He stomped across his living room to the kitchen, grabbing up the home phone. "I'll just dial 911 while you're doing that and see what the cops have to say about your little adventure in our trash can!" He pressed the number 9, but didn't get to do much else as his patient jumped from his couch with as much strength as they could, gasping in pain and shouting, "No!" Jack glared angrily at the vigilante, who leaned against the wall for support, breathing heavily through their nose.

"No, please...I–" The man swallowed dryly, before starting over again. "Hiccup. Call me Hiccup."

Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Hiccup?"

The man nodded, pushing himself off the wall with a grunt. "Yeah, i-it's a… uh, it's a childhood name. Long story."

Jack glanced at the phone in his palm, then to the man limping towards him. What to do, what to do… His thoughts were a jumbled mess of frustration, worry, and confusion, panic being the silver lining to it all. Not a good combination to think with.

"Please, Jack. Don't call the police. I promise, I don't want to hurt you, or anyone for that matter. Really."

The man seemed sincere enough. Should Jack trust him? Then again, this same man had presumably gone around beating up civilians and cops. Granted, thugs, gangsters, and dirty cops, but still…

The man tried for a smile. "Besides, are you really going to leave a blind man to sew himself up? Don't you have, I don't know, some code of honor or something?" He leaned against the open doorway leading from the living room to the kitchen, taking a breather. "You said you worked in EMS, didn't you?"

Jack took a moment more to think, before sighing and putting the phone back down. Darn it, Emma… You just had to make me a giant softie, didn't you? He walked forward and placed a practiced hand on the vigilante's arm. "Come on, Hiccup. Let's get you fixed up."


	16. Chapter 16: Day 16: Moist

**I can't believe I forgot to do this the first tiem I posted this chapter! My goodness, I'm so sorry, folks!**

**A big thank you to faisyah865 for reviewing so much!**

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**Rated:M for describtions of sex, curse words, and just general ridiculousness**

**Disclaimer:I in no way, shape, or form, intend to make a profit form this. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, uh... anything really but the general plot.**

**I'm brain dead right now lburghery**

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**Day 16:Moist (mermaid au)**

Different sensations overpowered almost every thought in his mind.

The sea-breeze was refreshing over his hot skin, dancing in his hair and mingling with every sharp breath that escaped him. It briskly swept across every freckle, every scar exposed to the air, carrying with it a pinch of salt for him to breathe in. And breathe it in he did. Oh, he practically sucked it in, what with how he was gasping, clinging onto the mossy outcropping for leverage.

The rough texture of rock-on-bare-back was bearable, but only just so. It was uncomfortable, feeling the algae mush against the bumps of his shoulder blades; shifting his bottom for more leverage and brushing against floating seaweed. And the rock itself could be littered with tiny sea creatures. After all, what did he know? Hiccup was just a lifeguard, not a marine biologist. He wouldn't be able to tell if he was currently being pushed back onto a colony of marine life; he wouldn't know if his wet hair was being plastered onto a family of plankton, or if his cheek was resting on a household of blood worms.

All he knew was that Jaahk's skillful tongue was wrapped around his dick and–oh, oh gods, how was that even possible–

Hiccup moaned, unable to help himself as he rocked his hips forward. The merman currently giving him a fantastic blowjob pulled back to bite the dip of his hipbone as punishment. Hiccup panted, reaching down to push the merman back to his cock, needing that mouth closed over his head again please please don't stop now–

Jaahk surfaced with a spray of ocean water, latching immediately onto Hiccup's mouth. The human groaned, grasping a handful of dripping silver hair, tugging insistently and flailing around in the sea. The merman hungrily grabbed ahold of his human, yanking Hiccup closer still. Their bodies squished together, and Hiccup groaned in both arousal and discomfort at the sensation.

It was so, sooo fucking good, having Jaahk pressed up against him like this, touching him like this, doing wonders with that flexible tongue of his and molding those skillful hands around his cock like that and just–o-oh, Hel, yes, right there–but then again, it felt so...weird. Jaahk's body, as gorgeous and breathtaking and gods he's beautiful as it was, it was more fish than human. Scales, rough around the edges and just a bit too slick on top, were scattered around his torso almost as bad as Hiccup's own freckles were. Jaahk's hair was permanently plastered to his head from years of saltwater exposure. Jaahk's teeth were so sharp that Hiccup honestly feared for his own tongue, never having had the courage to run it over those fangs. There were fins sticking out of the merman's back and forearms, there was silvery, pale flesh stretching from finger-to-finger on his webbed hands, and–

Hiccup let out a sound crossed between a gasp and a snort, back instinctively arching as Jaahk lavished his left nipple, cock rubbing right against the merman's tail. Both males groaned, the human more than the merman.

Hiccup hissed at the sensation of his dick against that slimy, scaled, fleshy, what how could he even describe this properly– "This is k-kinda weird…"

Oh shit he'd just spoken without thinking oh no, oh darn no why'd he open his mouth in the first place, shit fuck fuck fuck–

Jaahk licked his way down from Hiccup's nipple to his belly-button, as soft as the waves gently bumping against Hiccup's skin. "What's weird?", he murmured, too focused on giving pleasure to his little human to be bothered to understand what was being spoken about. Hiccup sighed at the sensation, shifting his position against the rock and ghosting his fingertips over the scales leading to the merman's tail. Jaahk groaned softly–he loved it when Hiccup touched him, no matter where it was–sinking even lower still, eager to have his lover in his mouth again.

"Y-You're tail, it's–", Hiccup swallowed a groan as Jaahk swirled his tongue around his shaft, "–it's r-right there–" Jaahk suddenly splashed up in front of Hiccup's face, grinning. All of a sudden, his lips latched onto the skin right beneath Hiccup's left ear, humming happily as he wiggled his entire body on top of the human. "So you like my tail against your cock? I knew you would, they always do."

Hiccup's eyes rolled back, and for a moment, he was just lost in sensation. For a moment that felt simultaneously as long as time itself and as short as a millisecond, Hiccup was completely overwhelmed by Jaahk, everything was Jaahk, all he could feel was Jaahk against his body and Jaahk's breath on his earlobe and Jaahk's stomach against his chest and Jaahk's webbed fingers in his hair and Jaahk's scales against his hips and Jaahk's tail against his crotch–oh right yeah Jaahk is a merman.

Hiccup moaned, grasping at the wet body of the merman for some kind of purchase. "Uh, t-that's not exactly w-what I–I was–gods, what are you doing?"

Jaahk grinned again, kissing his Hiccup on the lips, then the cheek, then the jaw. HIs tail was swishing back and forth, applying pressure and removing it in a faux attempt of the humans' movement of sex. "Isn't this what you do, Hiccup? Just sort of move back and forth like this on each other until one of you spills seed and then everyone just falls asleep happily?" Jaahk was practically glowing in proud, happy to have figured out just what exactly Hiccup wanted in the sexual part of their relationship. "It makes you feel good, yes?"

Hiccup thought if he should correct Jaahk about his assumptions, and opened his mouth to speak, regardless of Jaahk's continued attempts to bring him to the point of pleasure and beyond. "It's–", another gasp interrupted him, but some weird, probably-not-smart part of Hiccup was determined to fight on and speak his thoughts, regardless of how overwhelming everything was,"–It's moist. A-And slimy…" He fidgeted at the weird sensation. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but… It wasn't exactly appealing, either.

Jaahk paused, hands in red hair uncurling slightly. Hiccup huffed at the loss of both movement and pressure, shifting forward slightly, nudging a toe at Jaahk's tail to get him to continue; even if Hiccup didn't appreciate the sensation, he wasn't up for losing this experience entirely. Jaahk didn't pay head*, though.

"It's good, right? Slimey is… is good…" Jaahk's smile was dimming. How Hiccup didn't connect the dots, didn't realize that continuing to speak was probably the worst idea ever, he would never no.

"F-For mermen? Probably. But for humans? I-It's kind of, uncomfortable t-to… hump… against?"

Jaahk's smile was completely gone now, and he floated back a few inches, staring at Hiccup blankly. Hiccup whined at the loss of connection, realizing his mistake and immediately reaching for the merman. "N-No, but forget it, I don't really care! It's cool, I can dig it, just takes some getting used to is all but hey I'm already used to it, just–" Jaahk glared at Hiccup. "Okay okay, sorry, but please don't stop, come on, I'm like right there–"

Jaahk growled and lifted Hiccup up on the rock, leaving his human naked but safe and able to get back to shore. The merman turned to swim away, but Hiccup latched onto his arm in a last minute attempt of getting back some needed sexual relief. "W-wait! Uh, c-can't we at least cuddle?"

Jaahk snapped his sharp teeth at Hiccup. "Take your cuddles and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine, you filthy two legged ignorant beast!" With that, the merman dived and swam away, an indignant slap of his tail against the surface of the water being the last reminder of his frustration.

The next night, both males were back at the docks, smothering each other in kisses once more. 

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**(insert le lenny face here) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

***haha, head instead of heed, get it? No? Okay...**

**no but srsly how the fuck do fish have sex? specifically mermaids? with humans?**

**I always ask myself when writing Hiccup (exclusively during lovey-dovey scenes) if this famous little viking is an ass-man, or a nipple-lover? Now, I think I know my answer: he's a tongue kind of guy.**


	17. Chapter 17: Day 17: Neglect

**MY. INTERNET. WAS. HACKED. And as a consequence a WHOOOOOLE bunch of stuff happened and this whole summer was spent without internet and oh mY GOODNESS IT'S RAINING-**

**Oh wait it's a new year? When did that happen?  
**

**Just, a great big thank you to anyone who ever bothered looking at this thing. Really. Thanks. Even if this is three thousand years too late, I hope it still reaches you.**

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**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own How To Train Your Dragon, nor Rise of the Guardians, nor islands hidden away in the Arctic, nor a viking hat, nor a staff, nor a snowball machine. This work, in its (late) entirety, is for fun, for entertainment, for educational purposes so people can bounce ideas off each other's noggins and measure their writing capacity. I've never made a profit from this, unless you count the pleasure of doing something you love and missed dearly, and finding kindred spirits who enjoy it, too, counts as a profit.**

**Rated:T for heavy doses of angst and mentions of supporting characters' deaths.**

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**Day 17: Neglect**

The first time he saw Hiccup was so long ago that he could barely remember. There was fire, a lot of fire. It was hot, the flames all-consuming. The dragons had no mercy for Berk in that raid, and burned nearly everything to ashes. He'd only arrived on the island a day before, and though the Vikings were interesting, he hadn't yet formed any attachments to stay. There were so many screams and cries, so much smoke, so much death. It suffocated him. He flew past a woman, kidnapped by a Stormcutter, on his way out. She was reaching towards the largest house on the highest hill, crying for her husband and child. The husband was still inside the house, yelling for the dragon to bring her back, cradling the child in his huge arms. Jack wanted to help, really he did, it was just–

the fire

it was everywhere

So he flew away, and didn't come back until a few years later.

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The next time he came back to Berk, he brought with him a magnificent storm, one of the worst that Berk had seen in ten Devastating Winters. He hadn't meant it, really, it's just–

–the loneliness.

He was lonely.

No one had spoken to him since the lake. No one had even looked at him. Everyone he tried to talk to would just walk right through him. How was he supposed to live like this? Alone, without a purpose, without anyone to live for? What, was he just going to go around flying for the rest of his life, scared of water and fire and people until the day he died? What were his powers to be used for anyways? Death? Destruction? Like he was causing to the poor Berkians on this island now?

The storm lasted three days and two nights. Jack screamed his twenty-years of anguish away, and when he had no voice left to use, he mustered every single drop of power left inside him and released it all into the sky. The resulting blizzard drowned the island in ice, caused terrible waves to flood through the village, killed off nearly all the elders and gave only a handful of children some mercy. He lay still for many days after that, staring blankly at the dead ground, trapped inside a canyon-grove of sorts without any will left in him to fly away. His staff lay dejectedly at a lake's edge, its natural color a stark contrast to the white glare of snow and ice around it. He watched the world silently wake up from its slumber, all the while wondering… If he could just crack the ice; if he could just drop himself into the water; if he could just sink down, and down, and down…

Something raced through the forest, and his eyes instinctively looked up, not able to see past the walls of his temporary prison and yet still curious as to what was about to enter his momentary safe-haven. A few seconds later, and a small head filled with messy red hair peeked into his field of vision. It giggled, then disappeared, and he heard the tell-tale crumf-crumf-crumf of shoes on snow. He silently waited for whoever it was to appear again, unmoving and uncaring of what was going to happen. They wouldn't be able to see him anyways. No one ever could. That same head of hair appeared once more by a break in the walls, and the small body of a child slid down into the mini-canyon. The little boy gasped in delight, cheeks and nose rosy from wintery cheer, before diving right into the snow.

Jack watched the boy play for hours. Slowly, he lifted himself up to sit, eyes opening wide as he realized how much fun this kid was having. He didn't understand it. Hadn't he just dropped three-days'-worth of snow onto this island? Shouldn't everyone living here hate winter with an absolute passion? Didn't he just indirectly kill practically an entire fourth of the population of Berk, just because he'd wallowed in his own self-pity and lost control of his powers and–

The child tripped on a particularly nasty slip of ice, crashing to the floor with a comical yelp. The smack of skin on ice, though? Not so funny. The boy slowly sat up with a low groan, rubbing their chin. Jack rushed forward.

"Moon's craters! Are you okay, kid? Jeez that was a nasty fall, you gotta be more careful, c'mere lemme–" he landed next to them just as the little boy began to cry.

"Oh no no no no, come on now, please don't cry, please–"

All of a sudden, the boy stopped crying. The child of no more than four years of age sucked in a huge breath, squeezed their eyes shut tight against the tears, and yelled, "VIKINGS DO NOT CRY!"

Jack gasped and flew back in shock. He was unbalanced by the sudden shout and fell, banging his elbow painfully on his way down. He stared, wide-eyed, as the little kid stood up all by himself. "Vikings do not cry! So I will not cry!" The little boy trembled, rubbing his chin and whimpering. "I-I won't cry…"

Jack eased himself back up, stooping low and making his way slowly towards the child. He reached out an instinctive hand to care for the boy, then flinched back as he remembered that he'd only go through him. The boy sniffled and looked up.

And suddenly, they made eye contact.

The little boy's eyes grew huge, and Jack couldn't do much else other than freeze. Was this it? Was this really going to happen? Was he finally going to be seen? He didn't move, didn't blink, didn't even breathe in fear of breaking whatever spell it was that allowed the boy to see him. The child seemed to have the same idea, drawing in a slow breath and forming the expression, "Wooooah." Jack swallowed as cautiously as he could, licking his chapped lips, before reaching out a shaking hand again. Maybe, maybe he wouldn't go through. Maybe he'd stay solid, and real, and he'd finally gain a friend he could play with and they'd have fun, so much fun that he'd forget the last twenty years–

"HICCUP!"

Both the little boy and Jack startled at the sudden shout, but only the little boy turned around with a smile. "Daddy!" He raced towards a wall of the canyon-grove, waving his little arms around and jumping up and down. "I'm down here, Daddy." A huge man, as wide as he was tall, looked down the walls of the canyon-grove. The only similarity the two had was their red hair; beyond that, they were as different as apples and oranges.

"Hiccup! What do ye think yer dooin' down there? Why in the name of Odin did ye come outside, with the weather like this!"

The child shyly dug his boot into the snow, swaying from side to side and looking anywhere but at his father–and definitely not at Jack. "I dunno… I was bored of staying inside, and it looked really pretty out in the forest, and I just wanted to have fun…"

The huge man slapped a huge hand to his surprisingly tiny forehead, groaning with the last dregs of panic seeping out of him. "Hiccup, you HAVE to STOP this. Yoou're going t' be seven this comin' rainy season!" Jack blinked at that. Seven? He'd thought the little boy was four. Had it really been so long since he last saw a child that he couldn't even guess their age right?

The child groaned and threw his head back. "But Dad!"

"No buts! Now get on up here! I've got a whole village tah feed and I can't spend the rest of my days chasin' after ya in the forest!"

The child groaned once again, but obediently enough began trekking his way back to the incline that let out of the canyon-grove. Something dark twisted in Jack's heart, rooted there through twenty years of negligence. He gasped before darting forward, standing in front of the child. "No! You can't leave!"

He was sure, so sure, that for just a moment there–"Please, don't leave." He sank to his knees in the snow, the boy still walking forward without pause. "I know you saw me. I know you did. It was only for a second, only for a moment, but you did I know you did!" Jack's body trembled in fear as the child never even stopped. "PLEASE! PLEASE SEE ME!"

"SOMEBODY PLEASE SEE ME!"

The little boy called Hiccup walked right through Jack Frost without even batting an eye.

Father and son argued the entire way back to the village. Jack could do nothing more but shiver in the snow, bowed over and dry-sobbing over his sorrow-filled creation, feeling that all too familiar sensation of too much too much to handle need to let go need to let be need to be seen see me please see me i need to be seen please see me–

The wind howled once more over the island of Berk that night.

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**it was supposed to be longer, a good few pages filled to the brim with angst and repeated times that jack came to berk and hiccup sort of not really saw him, and it was supposed to end with hiccups death and having never truly seen jack and jack going rambo on berk because he still hasnt gotten a single believer in so long mim stop neglecting ur children and help the poor boy gawd. But no. It's been too long. I will just edit and post this and call it a night.  
**


	18. Chapter 18: Day 18: Opposites

**Someone (cough cough) has been calling me out on how terrible I am since I'm always submitting angsty entries. Here's some light-hearted ridiculousness to make up for that! Enjoy, folks :)**

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**Rated:K , but just in case I'll add the +, since there are mentions of very minor violence and avid descriptions of tongue-sticking.**

**Disclaimer: Wow, I can't believe I've done one for almost every chapter. It's getting quite tedious, actually. But here goes! This work is entirely for educational purposes. I do not wish to rake in big bucks for writing it. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, the meme/phrase Pitch Blease, any anthropomorphic best friends, a fairy, or the North Pole. And if anyone ever discovers the ability to create purple fire, please let me know, because I will lick you senseless in an attempt to become your life partner.**

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**Day 18: Opposites**

"You ready for this?"

"Pitch blease*, I got this down-packed."

Hiccup's stance faltered. "Pitch blease–?"

Jack grasped the opportunity and charged, swinging his staff with a yell and shooting lightning-fast ice right at his boyfriend. Hiccup yelped and bent all the way backwards, miraculously managing to dodge the attack, before flipping into a handstand and vaulting into the air. Wings sprouted from his back in a majestic explosion of purple flames. Within moments, he was gliding through the air at high speed, chasing Jack around large obstacles he barely got a glimpse at.

Hiccup smirked, and then put on an extra burst of speed with a quick jet of flames from his feet. He soared past Jack, tauntingly spinning lazy circles around his boyfriend. Jack made an annoyed sound, and with a quirk twirl of his staff, sent Hiccup flailing with a frozen foot and only one not-really-a-leg of fire. Jack snickered and dashed away, climbing high into the sky. A high-pitched noise was all the warning he got before suddenly, flaming balls of violet-blue were shrieking past him.

"Woah!" He swerved away from one, only to have to barrel roll around another. "Okay, now hold on–", he paused mid-air, and two went flying right by him. "Hiccup, just–Eek!" Jack jumped and split, a fireball passing right underneath his legs. "Too close! Too close too close too close, way too close! I call time-out!"

His answer came from right above him. "There is no time-out in a real battle, Jack!" His smile laced with mischief, Hiccup dived, slamming right into Jack. Jack wheezed as all the air escaped his lungs in one go, and it was all he could do to hold on to his staff and wrap himself around Hiccup for protection. The fire spirit laughed, quickly turning his dive into a spin, knowing that Jack hated not being in control of his own flight and doing everything he could to make this experience as annoying as possible for him.

So Jack retaliated with the only thing he could think of doing: he gave Hiccup's cheek a very long, very moist, lick of the tongue. If there was one thing Hiccup absolutely detested, it was the feel of someone else's tongue on his skin–unless it was an unspoken act of mutual affection, but even then, it was only tolerated, not enjoyed.

It worked.

Hiccup squealed and immediately broke his dive, coming to a hover and squirming with Jack in his hold, trying to detach the winter spirit from his face while not dropping his boyfriend. Jack shoved away from Hiccup, intent on continuing their impromptu fake fight and totally whooping Hiccup's butt, but–but something was wrong–his tongue–what the hell! He couldn't get his tongue off of Hiccup!

"Jack! Jack stop, geroff–STOP LICKING ME!"

"Aymsh try'n, ayedunoo, aye fin' ishuck!"*

Hiccup shivered in disgust at all the saliva currently coating his cheek and part of his eye. In a tiny voice he pleaded, "Please get your tongue off of me." He couldn't have stopped the whimper at the end, even if he'd tried.

Jack planted both feet on Hiccup's stomach, slapped both hands on Hiccup's face, and pushed away with everything he had. It took only seconds for him to realize just what, exactly, had happened. He slumped dejectedly and wailed, "ISH SHUCK!"*

Hiccup sent his boyfriend a side-ways glare of death. "What do you mean 'ish shuck!"

"Ishshuck aye cah er'i o' an' aye cah moof i'–"*

Hiccup's eyes widened in horror as he realized what had happened, and then he schooled his features into that of extreme determination. "Jack. I know what we have to do."

Jack looked to Hiccup for salvation, tears brimming in his eyes, ready and willing to get full function of his tongue back.

"I'm going to have to burn your tongue off of my cheek."

"WHAAAATHFSHHH!"*

Hiccup closed his eyes against the spray of saliva, wincing and trembling at how gross this all was, as well at the idea of causing Jack harm, but knowing that it was the only solution. "Jack, it's the only way! Besides, it'll grow back in a few days, and it'll only hurt for a little bit. Please, Jack! Or would you rather be hanging off of my cheek for the rest of eternity? 'Cause I kind of don't want that, thank you very much! Being your boyfriend is enough proximity for me!"

Jack tried analyzing all the options they had, but knew deep down, that Hiccup was right. The guardian closed his eyes in resignation a few drops of liquid ice trailing down his cheek. He nodded only once, but that was enough for Hiccup to understand. They sought each other's hand for comfort as Hiccup began a countdown.

"One."

They both breathed in deeply.

"Two."

Purple flames started traveling up Hiccup's body, and Jack flinched at the heat.

"Th–"

"What are you guys doing?"

Hiccup's concentration jolted and puttered out, just as his fire did, at Astrid's interruption. The anthropomorphic Deadly Nadder hovered just a few feet from them, the Tooth Fairy by her side, both females staring at Jack and Hiccup with slightly worried, slightly exasperated expressions. Both boys gave each other only a look before starting to shriek about their dire situation at the same time.

Astrid winced at the noise, taking a few wing-beats back, the spikes on her tail rising in annoyance. She turned to Toothiana for assistance, who twitched in worry, decoding their friends' words and translating. "T-They say, um, I think they said that Jack was dumped–Sorry!–is stuck to...to Hiccup's cheek?"

Hiccup and Jack nodded.

Toothiana snorted loudly, slapped a hand over her mouth, and tried desperately to stop herself from laughing so hard that she actually stopped hovering a few seconds. Astrid just downright cackled, bending over herself, her braid and tail swishing from exuberance. Both boys rolled their eyes and just waited for the girls to laugh it all out of their system.

Toothiana managed to wheeze an "Okay, okay, we'll help you," and Astrid just had to toss in her two cents of, "Shouldn't it be the other way around?" before somehow, they managed to separate Jack's tongue from Hiccup's cheek.

Both girls were forced to promise to never speak of it again.

It was the only think anyone would talk about at the next meet-up at the North Pole, anyways.

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***I'm sorry I saw a picture of a shirtless Jack saying Pitch Blease so many years ago but it stuck it stuck gurt dangit and it's never left me since I had to bring it in I had to kudos to the one who made it flippin' hilarious flippin' great thank you so much anonymous artist for your Pitch Blease it is greatly appreciated.**

**Does Jack basically cry liquid nitrogen if he doesn't cry ice droplets? 'Cause I sort of think he does.**

**Shameless sucky fight scenes with wacky humor, hurrah!**

**Translation:**  
***I'm trying, I dunno, I think it's stuck!**  
***IT'S STUCK!**  
***It's stuck I can't get it off and I can't move it-**


	19. Chapter 19: Day 19: Prepare

**This is really just a tiny itty bitty snapshot of (another) fic I have in the works. Just to get the format out there, see a general response. This scene might not even be in the real fic...? It's just sort of like a test drive, just to see what happens. And yes it's kind of a crossover with the Walking Dead, and no not the show, I never watched it so I can't crossover it. It's the game, the TellTales game.  
**

**Do yourself a favor and actually follow the format. If I ever do get around to publishing the real version of this, there will be lots more to read, with in-depth story progression and character exploration. Right now, this is just a little sneak-peak of a potential format. That doesn't mean the events here will happen in the other fiction, but I still wanted to see if this format would work out or not. I'm very limited, seeing as ffnet doesn't really allow links in the work or anything, so I have to fit different options on just one page. Troublesome.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, The Walking Dead, any Telltale games, any consoles to play them on, I only managed to download them on my tablet but goooosh they are sooo gooood. Go check out their games, readers.**

**Rated: T for mentions of character death, for mentions of death in general, for zombie creepsters and difficult decisions that ultimately define the rest of your life and the person you are, and will be.**

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**Day 19: Prepare**

"JACK!"

Jack turned to Hiccup, watching as walkers amassed over his entire skinny frame, the boy screaming for help and struggling as best as he could.

"JACK!"

Jack turned to his sibling, watching as his sister shook in panic and fear, the ice cracking underneath her feet, only seconds away from breaking and drowning the young girl in freezing water.

"HELP ME!" They shouted.

Jack felt as if his very heart was tearing in half. On the right, was the love of his life. Hiccup Haddock, the boy who'd protected them since the beginning. The boy who'd given up food, shelter, clothing, and even his own family just to stand with Jack. The one who'd jumped in front of a walker to save Jack, the one who lost their left leg because of it, and the one who still loved Jack despite it all. Hiccup was the only person Jack could ever remember loving like this, and he never wanted to let him go.

On the left, was his sister. His last remaining family member. The one who'd been created from the love of their mother and father. The young girl who called out to him when she had nightmares. The baby he used to play with, the toddler he helped teach to walk, the kindergartener who held his hand in fear and smiled in delight when he tickled her anxiety away. His little sister was the only reason he'd made it this far, and he never wanted to let her go.

And yet, here he was in the middle, with both his lover and his sister on the line, begging to either be saved from an icy death or be rescued from a horde of monsters. Who would he choose to save? How can he choose between two of the only precious people in the world to him? Why did he have to choose only one?

_You chose: to save Jack's sister. __**KEEP READING**_

_You chose: to save Hiccup. __**SKIP UNTIL THE NEXT BOLD LINE.**_

Jack tossed one last look at Hiccup, at the boy with emeralds for eyes and stars for freckles, at the love of his life, before bolting towards his little sister. "Don't worry, I'm coming!" His sister sobbed in relief, her legs shaking so much that she nearly fell to her knees. Hiccup could only watch on in shock and betrayal as the supposed love of his life left him to die.

Jack slid to a stop, sending a quick thank you for all the times he went ice skating before the world ended. He fell to his stomach, crawling closer to Emma's patch of unstable ice. "Grab my hand, Emma!" Behind them, the walkers yowled and groaned. There was the nasty sound of axe on bone, a few squelches, and then Hiccup screamed. Emma, sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe, her face whiter than the snow around them, tore her eyes away from the monsters behind her brother and grasped his hand as tightly as she could.

With one roll, Jack had his sister safely in his arms, and he cuddled her while quickly moving them towards the other side of the lake. Both refused to look behind them. It didn't take long after that for Hiccup to stop screaming.

End Scene

**THIS IS WHERE YOU START READING FOR OPTION TWO**

Jack tossed one last look at his sibling, his sister, the only family he had left, the one reminder of his life before all this madness, the one he had promised to protect with his life, before bolting towards Hiccup. "Don't worry, I'm coming!" Hiccup sucked in a sharp breath, gasping in fear and relief. He hadn't been too sure that Jack would choose him over his sister, and though he felt guilty for it, he was so happy that Jack didn't leave him to drown. Jack's sister, though, screamed.

She saw the decision her brother made. He chose to save Hiccup, a stranger, someone who they didn't really know, over her. She was family. She was his sister. And yet he abandoned her, left her to die, because of them. The ice crackled and snapped beneath her feet.

"You promised," she sobbed.

And fell through the ice.

End Scene


	20. Chapter 20: Day 20: Quiet

**Request from black cat in boots. Hope this is okay?  
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**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HTTYD OR ROTG. MY FINGERS HURT FROM TYPING. CUT ME SOME SLACK PLEZ.**

**Rated: T for major themes like drinking and getting drunk and possible mind control and loss of identity and social-dysfunctionality? Is that a thing?**

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**Day 20: Quiet**

It's quiet.

Rarely do the birds sing in these forests. They're too busy crafting nests and collecting worms for their children. The animals don't make much sound, either. They tend to scurry away from noise, hiding whatever food they can find. Even the wind turns silent here. It knows better than to disturb the creatures of these woods.

Winter is coming.*

Autumn can feel it, down to his very bones, down to the very particles that make up his soul. When his forest turns silent, when all goes still with anticipation, then Winter is coming. The animals stop moving, stop breathing. The wind rushes away and disappears to carry it's immortal passenger. The trees pause in the middle of their long life, wilting and dying before his very eyes. He tries to murmur reassurances to them; Spring will come, he says. Spring will give you another chance, he says. You'll be green and lively again, he says.

All he can do is paint their leaves the colors of the Earth and make their deaths a beautiful one.

Now, he leans against a rock, in an area of the forest untouched by Mother Nature ever since his second life began. His brother, his eternal companion, his scaled savior who will never leave him alone, sleeps peacefully just a few feet away. His brother is exhausted from herding stubborn animals back into their homes. This forest bends to Autumn's will; it follows his every thought. But outside of here? Things have to forcefully be put to balance.

Autumn flips the golden coin off his thumb, watches it sail upward and arc back down, then snatches it out of the air. He does this again. Winter is coming. The coin's golden hue glints off the last remaining ray of sunlight, lighting up a patch of grass as it falls back down to him. Winter is coming. He can see Yggdrasil carved onto it as it spins midair. The other side, he knows, will have the Moon. Winter is coming.

Winter is here.

Autumn catches the golden coin just as Winter lands in front of him. His white hair glistens in the early moonlight. The frost created by his very presence freezes the last shreds of life away from the grass, from the weeds, from the area itself. A light snowfall begins.

"Hiccup."

"Jack."

Autumn makes the mistake of looking up. Winter's eyes are their usual stunning color, blue-gray and glacial with his powers. His pale, statue-esque features are twisted in mirth, thin lips stretched over sparkling teeth to form a mischievous smirk. Frost litters his clothing; Autumn can't help but notice that he has once again changed tops. Now, he wears what looks to be like a modern sweater, complete with hood and adjusting strings. Autumn refuses to admit out loud that it suits his body well.

Winter's smirk evens out to a carefree smile, and he settles himself onto the ground. As per custom, Autumn removes Inferno and places the sword on the ground, nudging it with his foot a few feet away from him. He tosses his dagger alongside it, then looks to Winter pointedly. Winter's smile never fails, even as he tosses his beloved staff off to the side.

The disregarding of weapons is a show of good faith between every season. It helps to keep meetings from getting a little… too overwhelming. And it's an added bonus that it helps put Autumn's brother at ease. The scaled spirit yawns, stretching before lumbering off to the tree nearby, still caught mid-way between Winter's reach and Autumn's touch. It wraps a long, black tail around a branch, then falls upside down and curls into it's own wings. Autumn looks on with envy; how he wished that he, too, could wrap himself betwixt fire-proof wings and hide away for the rest of Winter. Alas, it is his responsibility as a season to pass the golden coin off to the next. And that requires for interaction, socialization. He must complete his duty.

Winter, as per usual, laughs. "Wow, Toothless. I'm good, by the way. Hope you are too. Have a good sleep." He rolls his eyes and looks to Autumn with a smirk, tossing a thumb back in the direction of the other season's brother. "Dragons, right? Always so hot-headed." His smirk is breathtaking now.

Autumn decides to breathe again and ignores how everything is wrong in all the right ways whenever Winter shows up. He stands, coin held firmly in his fist. "Alright, let's get this over with." He places his hand out firmly in front of him, palm up, with the golden coin resting in his hand.

Winter stands too, lazily stretching his arms way above his head before bringing them down for a flex. Autumn pointedly looks away, giving Winter some privacy–and determinedly resisting temptation, don't look Hiccup damn it don't look. Winter gives Autumn another playful smile. "Why so Sirius?"*

The coin begins to float in Autumn's hand, quietly turning circles, glinting in both the sunset and moonlight.

"From Harry Potter? Get it?"

Autumn moves his eyes back to Winter's, before nodding at his own palm. "Take the coin and go, please."

In that moment, something shifts between them. Autumn has felt it accumulating these past 200 years, but never dared to question it, never dared to even think of it. He was always better off alone. When he was alive and living amongst Berk's first people, he was shunned and ridiculed for simply being who he was. The only one he could ever trust was his brother, who even now, centuries later, still stands by his side. Autumn cannot find it in himself to trust anyone other than his brother, no matter how long he has known him. Not even Summer–who, like him, has a thousand years under her belt–will he rely on. It was, still is, and always will be, the dragon and the Viking.

There is no room for anyone else.

Winter stubbornly refuses to believe that.

Winter's face shifts into something Autumn never thought would be possible: a frown. He walks forward, and completely ignores the coin in favor of barging right into Autumn's personal space. Autumn breathes in sharply, all his muscles becoming rigid and straining against the urge to move. "I don't know what game you're playing, Jack, but it–"

"This isn't a game, Hiccup." Winter is now disastrously close to Autumn's face, and Autumn can't think of anything else to do other than to close his eyes and pray to Odin that he won't do it, that he won't say it, that he won't think it. "You have to stop this." No, no no no. This is why he can't stand other people. They always think they know the best for him, when really, they just make things worse. "I only ever see you talk to others when it's time for the Exchange. The only time you get out of this forest is when you bring your season. Don't you think it's time?"

No. Autumn does not think it's time. It's never a good time to leave. Leaving Berk is a bad, bad, bad idea.

"I know I've only known you for, what, 250 years? And I know you're older than me by a thousand years, probably with a few more centuries on top of that. But still! Don't you miss talking to other people? Can you even remember what it was like to be friends with someone other than dragons?"

Autumn is torn between sorrow and frustration. As a result, his voice is frail and cracking when he quietly pleads, "Just take the coin, Jack. Take it and go."

"No! I'm not just going to leave you here! I get it, okay, you're lonely and maybe scared, but you've gotta take a chance, Hiccup! Don't let your fears control you! I promise, you'll have so much fun that you won't even remember why you didn't leave in the first place–"

"I can't leave." His voice is so tiny, so small, so childish. By the gods, he wants to go. He wants to hop on Toothless and leave, never even look back. He wants to raise his hands to the summer sun, cup her rays around his palms and drown in her ethereal light. He wants to ride with the spring winds, dance alongside them while enjoying the freedom the fresh, blue sky can offer him. He wants to feel that winter chill nip at his cheeks, and make his whole body tremble with that nervous anxiety of being out when it's cold. He wants to remember what it was like to be human.

But he can't.

Hiccup is no longer Hiccup. Hiccup is now Autumn, the personification of the season. His only duty now is to the balance of Yggdrasil, the stability of Midguard, the responsibility to Earth and Mother Nature. He is alive to ensure that all living things go quietly to sleep before Winter. He is alive to cool Summer's fire, to warm Winter's freeze. The meaning to this afterlife is quite simple, and he is to follow it. That is all.

Autumn doesn't understand how, or why, but Winter closes in. He places his pale, frigid hands on Autumn's cheeks, and leans in. Winter is cold to the touch, from the last strand of hair on his head to the very tips of his toes. The chill of Winter's lips on his sweeps Autumn right off his feet, causing him to shudder and gasp, making him want to flee to the ends of this plane of existence and want to celebrate and have fun all at once. The sensation, the feel of their seasons mixing into one, the rush of both of them together at last, is enough to make him breathe in starlight. And moonlight. And icicles. And snowballs, snowmen, sled rides, the joy of being with friends, the bubbles of laughter, the excitement of fun fun fun–

Jack steps back, biting his lip to hide a smirk. Hiccup blinks his eyes open, their natural green colour coming back into existence since the first time he became Autumn. Hiccup breaths out a mixture of frosty air and a few snowflakes, Winter's touch finally leaving him. Jack laughs, the rosy colour in his cheeks from Autumn's warmth fading away just as fast. The two seasons look at each other.

"So, you ready to have some fun?"

Hiccup glances down, to where the golden coin has fallen, moon-side up. It's dull now, with no light to shine on it, and something inside him says that it was always meaningless anyways. Instead of picking it up like Autumn should, Hiccup gives Jack his first real smile in over a thousand years.

"Yeah."

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***shameless Game of Thrones reference is shameless  
*shameless pun meme on Sirius' name is shameless  
**  
**idk what happened at first it was supposed to be about how quiet autumn's forest was and then it was supposed to be lighthearted flirting between autumn and winter and then it turned into a thousand year long seclusion from society because of a twisted sense of responsibility and jack became a metaphorical key to the golden coin's metaphorical lock and the golden coin was a mental slavery thing and hiccup was cursed but jack has that magic true love kiss and idek wtf happened but it happened.**

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**Bonus for black cat in boots (because I don't think I captured exactly what you were gunning for.)**

Winter should've known, from the beginning, that it was a bad idea.

Introducing Autumn to the Guardians was supposed to have been an amusing experiment. There were plenty of things that could've gone wrong, yes, but he assumed he would take it all in stride. Autumn had isolated himself for so long that Winter was sure, 100%, that introducing him to such an eccentric group of people as the Guardians would be nothing short of a five-star comedy film.

Instead, he's got two drunk fighters, a K. Sandman, fairies high off the wazoo, and a bunny determined to win a staring contest with a rock.

Jack looked around the common room in complete, bewildered silence. How did things even get this bad?

Baby Tooth had found him somewhere in Russia, where she told him that the Guardians were gearing up for an impromptu meeting at the North Pole. The elves had apparently gone on strike, and refused to allow the yeti into the kitchen until they were served a gigantic box of Chips A'hoy. Jack had politely hidden his conniving smirk-and didn't care that Baby Tooth could see it anyways, the little fairy had just as much fault in this as he did-and stated that he'd come along, but he needed to pick someone up first.

A few hours later, and five Guardians plus one Season had met up in North's common room. Introductions had gone as expected. Hiccup had donned his Autumn, and acted completely impassive to everything. The tour around the North Pole did nothing to his mask of indifference; the reindeer had snorted in agitation when the group passed by the stables, and had shook their bells before backing up in their stalls; the elves had taken one look at Autumn and abandoned their protest without a second thought. Autumn had politely, and rudely, nodded at everyone's introduction, giving them only a passing glance.

To break the stifling tension forming in the air, Jack had done what he did best-made fun. He'd placed a consoling hand on Autumn's shoulder and told the Guardians, "Don't take it personal, guys. Hiccup's just emotionally constipated-"

Hiccup had spluttered indignantly and shrieked, "No I'm not!"

And, well, if Jack Frost could break your impassiveness, than you were probably more human than you let on.

From then on, it had gone splendidly. Tooth eventually found out, through her weird connection with her fairies that no one understood, that Baby Tooth had convinced the elves that the kitchen was where all the yeti created Christmas magic. And that somehow led to Jack begrudgingly admitting to having told the elves that Chips A'hoy would give them wings, similar to how Red Bull would give a mortal wings. North cracked open a bottle of eggnog, and then a bottle of wine, and then maybe some rum, too? Jack lost track.

Hiccup had made it his personal mission in life to understand Sandy's pictography-speak as best as he could. North guffawed himself into a polka dance with Tooth. Bunny found a rock. And kept the rock. Apparently Bunny really loved sedimentary rocks? The mini-fairies broke into the glitter room, and the bakery, and were just one huge flying, sparkling, sugar-high mess.

And then Jack, because he apparently still hadn't mastered the art of avoiding foot-in-mouth syndrome, had suggested they break out the mead because why not? Everyone else was drunk and he needed enough time to steal a camera and make it back in time for the good parts.

Hiccup must've been quite familiar with mead, and fighting, and warrior-ness, duh he used to be a Viking hello! Jack should probably stop drinking whatever it was he was drinking.

Bottom line is this: Eventually, everyone ended up being ridiculous with each other, and Jack couldn't think properly right now.

Hiccup stumbled into the seat next to Jack, giggling. Jack stared at him wide-eyed, because when did Autumn giggle? Hiccup leaned forward, gave Jack a quick kiss on the lips, and then collapsed into Winter's lap with a soft snore. Jack blinked, tried clearing his swimming vision, then just decided to follow Hiccup's example and fell asleep. The rest of the Guardians followed suite, and how do people act when drunk? They don't! It's a secret, shhh!

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**idek either. i blame it on the sake. it's all the sake's fault.**


	21. Chapter 21: Day 21: Rookie

**i was soooooooo tempted to make MiM Kaguya, but this is supposed to be a short post, so. obviously no one is going to really fit into their roles. yup. dont mind me. juuuust typin whatever comes to mind here. yap.**

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**Disclaimer: Yeah no, I don't own How To train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Naruto, any Naruto movies/extra Naruto stuff, Kishimoto is obviously the king of that, and no I don't have any cool weapons or Naruto stuff, and I unfortunately don't have any HTTYD or RotG stuff either, I know I'm a terrible fan. If I was to be paid for writing fanfiction, I would request payment in form of reviews! The respectful owners of aformentioned products can take all the money they want.**

**Rated: T for mentions of violence, and because this is a Naruto AU duh.**

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**WELCOME, READERS, BOTH NEW AND OLD! AGAIN! I'd like to point out too overly fabulous reviewers of mine who are both too amazing to be described in words. We have the lovely faisyah865, who I've been talking to since forever ago, and the awesome JakeTheStoryTeller, who just came back from exploring Mars and has proven that tiny-green-stick-people-things really do live there! I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But they really are cool! You readers should check them out!**

**Is this a shout out? Yes! Am I ashamed of it? NOPE!**

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**Day 21: Rookie**

"Hey, rookie!"

The room quieted down some at the sudden shout, most ninjas trying to ignore the call while still paying attention to what was going on, some just altogether staring, and a few blatantly moving on with their conversation. Jackson didn't pay it any mind: it was the Chunin exams, held in Konohagakure, open to all genin from all over. Stick a bunch of hormonal teenagers-and oddly enough, a few adults-from different warring countries into one, boring room, and you're bound to get some fighting. Add to that the tension from the Exams and any personal vendettas they might have towards each other's Hidden Villages? That's like practically begging for trouble. It was best if he just kept on smiling at whatever Ha* was saying, and ignored all the insults being tossed haphazardly around the room, come on Jackson don't get riled up-

"Hey, you there!"

Someone's hand landed on his shoulder, and Jackson turned around in a slow, controlled manner.

"Yes?"

"You damn rookie," someone breathed right into his face, and Jackson's features twisted in disgust. Judging by their headband, they were from Iwagakure. "Yeah, you. I know you. You from Shimogakure?" Jackson's features sharpened even more: his parents had been from the Village Hidden in Frost, and so he'd inherited many of the features commonly found in citizens from the Land of Frost. The shape of his eyes were much rounder than Konoha's usual almond-shaped eyes; his nose was narrow and sharp whereas Iwa's were usually bulbous; even his jawline was squared, though many shinobi had pointed, slanted jaws. He stood out like a sore thumb if one looked close enough. He'd just never anticipated encountering trouble because of it.

"What does it matter to you?"

The Iwagakure ninja sneered. "My parents died in the Land of Frost!"

At this point, Jackson was quickly realizing that the genin was just looking for a fight. Big and tough, the Iwagakure ninja probably just wanted to let off some steam. What better way to do that than to single out the oddball, use some really stupid backstory no one cares about, and battle it out? The problem was that Jackson didn't care for that kind of thing. He'd never cared for petty grudges, especially those against each other's villages. He'd gone to the Chunin Exams because he wanted to be promoted. Hopefully, he'd build his way up to Tokubetsu Jounin, get a genin team, and spend the rest of his days educating the younger generation of Konohagakure shinobi for a better tomorrow. He wasn't interested in fighting it out with some punk who couldn't keep his temper.

Jackson bowed respectfully. "I am very sorry for your loss." With that, he turned back around, flashing a smile at his teammate Ha. "As I was saying Tooth, so Sensei had just walked through the door right, and like, three seconds before I'd-"

Nemuri* suddenly yanked him forward, just in time for Jackson to dodge a swing. All of a sudden, the three genin got into position, Ha taking the frontlines while Jackson slid into the middle and Nemuri positioned himself at the back. All three stared down the Iwagakure ninja opposing them.

The first Iwa-nin shouted, "Don't ignore me, you murdering punk!"

Ha made a loud sound of annoyance. "Back off! Jackson never did anything to you, and we don't want to start-"

"Tooth." Jackson placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, guiding her behind him. "I'll handle this, you stay with Sandy."

She looked to her teammate, eyes flashing violet. "You can't be serious, Jack! This guy's just looking to start a fight."

Jackson nodded only once, eyes glinting dangerously. "Yeah. And it's about time someone taught him how to shut the hell up and deal with it." Okay, so maybe the atmosphere was affecting Jackson a little more than he thought. He'd been feeling stir-crazy for hours, and rambling along with Tooth hadn't helped as much as he thought it would.

The Iwagakure ninja smirked triumphantly, leaning down to get right in Jackson's face. "Yeah, that's right, you backstabbing rookie. Try and beat me down, that way I can-"

A green blob zoomed right in between them, squawking and nearly scratching both their eyes out. Jackson jumped back with a hiss, swatting at whatever it was, instinctively reaching for his quarterstaff. The Iwagakure ninja yanked out his kunai, snarling as the green blur zoomed around in a loop and landed on another genin's shoulder. Jackson relaxed slightly, recognizing them as Hiccup and Toothless.

The genin stepped forward in all his strange, Togagegakure* glory, frowning at the Iwa-nin. His teammates stepped up beside him, both blonde's looking intimidating despite their various sizes. Hiccup walked forward, leading his team alongside Konoha's. Seeing two fully trained genin teams standing against theirs, the Iwagakure ninja stepped back. Hiccup calmly faced them, standing next to Jackson. "Back off, Iwa." His red eyebrows lowered, green eyes narrowing in warning. "Or else." The three dragon summons each squawked and shrieked at the opposing nin, perched on their respective Summoners.

The Iwagakure ninja spat some more ridiculous insults before stomping away. The six genin collectively released their tension, before turning to each other and starting their greetings. Jackson shot Hiccup a grateful smile, ignoring the red hue that was surely colouring his ears. "Thank you, Hiccup." Hiccup shrugged, shyly avoiding Jackson's eyes and giving Toothless a much-deserved scratch under the chin. "Anytime, Jack."

And if his nose turned a little red, well, Jackson returned the favor by staying silent about both their mutual blushes.

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***Ha is Japanese for Tooth, according to Google Translate (which is probably not accurate but i try, okay?). She is the only ninja of their team born and raised in Konoha with family from Konoha. Through and through a Konoha kunoichi.  
*Nemuri is Japanese for sleep(or so says Google). Sandy is totes from Sunagakure because I SAY SO. He was born in Sunagakure but moved to Konoha w/ his parents at a really young age.  
*Land of Frost is canon, but Land of Snow is not Land of Frost. Jackson was born on the way from Frost to Konoha. I think.  
*Sandy is their long distance genjutsu, Toothiana is their close range taijutsu, Jack is their mid range ninjutsu, Aster is the war-torn jounin of their squad.  
*****Togagegakure, my own try-hard Hidden Village of Lizards from a rip-off of Sora no Kuni (Land of the Sky, courtesy of Shippuden:Bonds)  
*Hiccup's team consists of yours truly, Astrid, and Fishlegs, and in this AU dragons are summonings**

**For those that still don't get it, this is a Naruto AU. Yes. It really, really is. PM me if you'd like to mindlessly rant and/or brainstorm about Naruto, HTTYD, and/or this AU.**


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